Title: Memories

Author: Patricia (wiltarzonnet.nl)

Rating: T - PG-13 I guess

Disclaimers: None of the OC characters belong to me. They are the property of Josh Schwartz and Fox. Doctor Hamilton, doctor Lewis, Evan, Charlie, doctor Wu, Lacey, Jason, Joe, Sharon, Frankie, Isaac, Robin and doctor Rogers (in order of appearance, no matter how small their parts are) are made up by me. So they DO belong to me! The song Memories (although I changed 1 word in it) belongs to Within Temptation and BMG Netherlands. The song Time With You belongs to Billy Currington and his record company. The song Float On belongs to Modest Mouse and Epic.

Pairing: Alex/Marissa

Feedback: It's something I crave, so please send it to my e-mail address or post it here.

Distribution: Feel free to put it on your website, but please let me know and give me the credits for my hard work

Spoilers: None, unless you didn't know Marissa and Alex are a couple.

Dedication: To everyone who managed to get through this fic

Notes: I'm not a psychiatrist and this is fiction. I don't know all the correct terms or names of organizations. I made up names myself, if they somehow turn out to be existing facilities, it's pure coincidence. My mind just ran away with me again so I just wrote, even though I know real life would never be anything like this. Once again I repeat; this is fiction people.

Summary: This fic starts out pretty painful but believe me, it has a happy ending! In this fic Julie had Marissa institutionalized after she found out about her relationship with Alex. Seven years after she's been committed, there is a light at the end of the tunnel… And for a change, the light is not a train at full speed ;-)

Now as another small side-note: I know the song I used is originally about someone who passed away, but I felt that would be too depressing. Not to mention the fact that a happy ending is pretty hard to find when one of your characters is dead. And besides, I feel like the song really works in this context as well.

Prologue

September 19th 2012

It had been such a long time, seven years to be exact, from the moment fate decided to tear Marissa and Alex apart. Although 'fate' this time could best be defined as Julie Cooper-Nichols.

Julie had managed to destroy two relationships at once; the relationship of her daughter, and the relationship with her daughter. It still hurt Marissa to think about it, yet she had to, each and every single day again. Some days were more painful than others, but no matter what, the heavy weight was always on her heart.

This day was one of the worst. It was to the date seven years ago that Julie had torn Marissa and Alex apart.

Marissa thought back to the moment she heard her mom utter those words.

"Marissa, you are not my daughter." She had then turned towards the medical crew "Take her away. And make sure that Alex-girl never sets a foot inside the building of Foster's mental health center."

After all of the threats Julie had given a year before all of this happened, Marissa thought she would never go through with it. But as soon as Julie found out about Alex, she called to have Marissa institutionalized. Because Marissa was still a minor, there was nothing she could do. She tried to fight, tried to defend herself, but it was useless. A needle was pushed into her arm and before she knew it she was violently forced into the armored van. She only got one look at Alex again that day, and the picture was branded in her mind forever. The picture of Alex breaking down, falling onto her knees, crying out Marissa's name. The last words she heard from Alex was the screaming of "Don't let them get to you Marissa, you have to get out! I love you!" Then she lost consciousness.

What had happened to Alex since that day, Marissa didn't know. From what doctors had told her, Alex had certainly been keeping security busy each time she tried to get to Marissa. In fact, it was the thought of that which had kept Marissa going for all those years.

They were seven long, hard, painful years. Marissa had tried everything she could to get out, but during one of her conversations with doctor Hamilton all of her hopes were taken away from her.

"Look Marissa, you can do what you want, cry all you want, say what you want, but you are not going to get out of here. As long as your mother keeps paying us, we are keeping you here. And don't think you can do anything with this knowledge, because no one will believe you, there is no record at all, you understand? So why don't you start behaving, that way your stay will at least be slightly comfortable for all of those involved."

Marissa had once again tried to fight for her freedom and her love when she replied challengingly "Oh really? And what about the medical reports? I'm no longer a minor, you need to have a solid ground to keep me here. You've got nothing on me."

Doctor Hamilton had shot her one of his horrible smiles. "Wrong again. The medical reports say what I wrote in them. According to my files, you are nothing more than a crazy psycho bitch. And believe me, no one will doubt me the slightest bit." Arrogance dripped from his voice.

As realization hit her, Marissa broke down. She was emotionally drained by that place, and by the people in it.

From that moment on, Marissa had pretty much given up all hope on ever getting out again. It even got worse when she found out after two years that her dad Jimmy had tragically died in a car accident. She had turned to writing from that day, every day. During those years, she had written enough to fill an entire bookshelf. Sometimes she wrote stories, sometimes poems, sometimes songs. But they all had one thing in common. All of her writings were linked to one and the same person. The only person she felt remained in her life. Alex.

There was one writing in particular that she liked. She had named it Memories. Whenever she felt really down, Marissa would read it. It offered some kind of comfort. Today was of course one of those days. Marissa let her eyes roam over the paper.

In this world you tried

Not leaving me alone behind

There's no other way

I prayed to the gods let her stay

The memories ease the pain inside

Now I know why

All of my memories keep you near

In silent moments imagine you here

All of my memories keep you near

Your silent whispers, silent tears

Made me promise I'd try

To find my way back in this life

I hope there is a way

To give me a sign you're okay

Reminds me again it's worth it all

So I can go on

All of my memories keep you near

In silent moments imagine you here

All of my memories keep you near

Your silent whispers, silent tears

Together in all these memories

I see your smile

All of the memories I hold dear

Darling, you know I will love you

Until the end of time

All of my memories keep you near

In silent moments imagine you here

All of my memories keep you near

Your silent whispers, silent tears

All of my memories

Marissa sighed and closed her eyes, once again bringing forward images of Alex's face. These moments were both the happiest, and the saddest in her existence ever since the day she was brought to Foster's. But no matter how painful the memories were, Marissa relied on them for they were what kept her alive.