A/N: Hey! :D This is my first fanfic for FFIX (well, first fanfic ever) and I really have no idea what I'm doing... (Hint, review! :D) But this story isn't really a structured one. It's just going to be a collection of stories about eidolons and my take on their interactions with one another (okay okay, I know that eidolons are just phantoms generated from legends but that doesn't mean that they can't have personalities! D:). As such, this whole fic will probably not be canon, but I'll try my best. I guess this is more of an entertainment fic than an insightful one, to be completely honest; I'm just not that good with profound material that connects with the original plotline, I guess. Marking it under the "humor" genre might not be the best choice, as I'm not especially talented in writing funny stories, but whenever I write for the sake of entertainment, I end up slipping some of my attempts at humorous writing into the story. Oh well.

Please review if you have any criticism or comments. I love feedback (then again, who doesn't?) and would greatly appreciate any amount of it!

Oh, and one last thing; in this first chapter, there's some swearing, but I don't think it's enough to make this an M fic. Hopefully everyone agrees ._. But yeah, hope you enjoy. If the ideas keep coming to me, I'll keep the fic going.

...Oh, and I guess I should include a disclaimer...

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy IX and its characters are property of Square Enix, and I do not own any of said property. This disclaimer holds true for this entire story; I don't want to place this at the beginning of every single chapter.

Inside the emptiness of the realm, it was dark. Darker than night, but not quite as dark as nothingness. If one were to strain their eyes to the point of head-ache induction, they'd be able to make out little wisps of a mist-like substance, permeating the seemingly endless void with an air of casual indifference. Flitting here, flitting there, always gracefully moving in a mysteriously beautiful tempo in-tandem with the rest of its counterparts. Using the darkness to augment its mystical nature, the wisps would creep into the path of one's vision before dancing away with finesse unmatched by Alexandria's finest entertainers. Unnaturally elegant, the ethereal threads were the epitome of rhythmical charm.

It was dark. The wisps kept dancing, and the seemingly unending nature of the realm weighed down on the atmosphere of the area like a bag full of bricks. To say it was tense would be a misuse of the word, but one wouldn't be able to deny the feeling of anxiety that accompanied the unknown. What could be hiding in this dark expansive realm? Anything could be lurking around, waiting for an opportunity, and danger had the ability of springing out when you were least prepared. …But the darkness was calm. It was infinite; it didn't care about danger or other such trivial things. One could not conquer the omnipresent darkness with a couple acts of violence. The darkness would continue, and the acts of violence would become meaningless in the face of infinite obscurity. There was no question as to what ruled this realm.

The dark may have been the absolute end-all be-all of the realm, but the wisps provided the realm with meaning, with personality. A feeling of security, in knowing that there was in-fact something in the vast void. While the darkness gave off an aura of solitude and an unmatched solemnness, the wisps were the playful pixies that managed to decorate their world with something that complemented the abyss. Coupled with the wisps, one could almost say that the darkness provided a certain kind of peace. One that would give you relief, banishing your trivial worries and admonishing you for being so stressed out over problems that didn't matter. Reminding you that there are no problems here; only the wisps and a sense of eternity.

Darkness isn't always a bad thing. It is capable of providing comfort and rest to world-weary travelers. The atmosphere in the realm may have been slightly unnerving, but only for the briefest of moments. It was safe here; peaceful and dark.

…That is, until Ifrit entered back into the realm.

"Yo, who the fuck turned off the lights?!"

Following up his angry outburst with an attempt at illuminating the area with a blast of flames, he began ranting to the inhabitants of the mysterious realm.

"Damn, I leave for one minute and the party's over? Bring out the cards again! That last game was a fluke, ya hear me?"

There were no responses from the dark expanse, but this didn't seem to discourage the hulking beast. A flurry of hellish energy escaped Ifrit's form, scattering in beautiful symmetry before arcing upwards to converge on a single point. The wisps seemed to sense the power gathering in the slightly illuminated area and responded with an increase in the speed of their intriguing dance. They began writhing furiously, as if knowing that their existences were about to be changed forever.

"Bring out the cards! …Or I'm gonna throw this at one of you!" A childish outburst, backed by some intense firepower. Ifrit hated losing in Tetra Master and always demanded rematches until he won a game. After which he'd do a victory dance while laughing in his deep, beast-like voice.

"No one!?" He was shrieking now. "Absolutely no one?" And still, no other eidolon spoke up. All that Ifrit could see were the wisps. "Don't say I didn't warn you!" And with that, Ifrit let loose his sphere of destruction. He watched in satisfaction as it proceeded to explode in a terrifying display of raw power.

Despite Ifrit's nigh-complete lack of vision, Bahamut was hit head on with said explosion. The dragon woke up in a confused daze as he continued to snort the graceful dancing wisps out of his nostrils, the wisps mimicking his emotions in an almost comical fashion as they danced angrily around his head.

Ifrit may have been able to hit an eidolon with his act of childish fury, yet it was the eidolon he hated messing with the most (well, barring Madeen, of course. No one liked messing with Madeen). He was able to dodge the beam of energy coming his way at the last moment, but Bahamut wasn't done. One Mega Flare, two Mega Flares, three Mega Flares… Rude awakenings probably weren't high up on Bahamut's list of favorite things.

Ifrit ceased his tough-guy act and proceeded to sprint as fast as he could away from the awakened dragon, probably following the flawed logic that if Bahamut couldn't see him, the dragon would forget the situation and go back to sleep. Unfortunately for him, Bahamut had no intention of falling asleep any time soon. With a slight stumble in his step, Bahamut unfurled his wings and leapt into the air while shooting white flames from his opened maw.

Even if Ifrit was the eidolon that embodied the nature of fire, he was still susceptible to the white-hot fire Bahamut occasionally breathed. "Not even hell can compete with the flames of a dragon king," Shiva had once mockingly told him. (He made sure to beat the crap out of the stupid fairy after that remark.)

"I AM GOING TO TORCH YOUR ASS, YOU INSOLENT WHELP," Bahamut intoned in-between breaths of fire.

"Ahh, shit…" Ifrit muttered.

Shiva watched the amusing quarrel between the King of Dragons and the fiery beast, and nudged Ramuh beside her. "I told you Ifrit would make an entrance like that,"

Ramuh shrugged. "I never said he'd do anything different; we all know Ifrit hasn't matured,"

Shiva scoffed. "Maybe he's being influenced by that monkey boy; both are stupid beyond belief and both treat Tetra Master like the meaning of existence,"

"Zidane isn't stupid. Plays cards a lot, but he isn't stupid. He's just… Impulsive," Ramuh nodded knowingly. "Ifrit, on the other hand, has dogshit for brains and attempts to prove otherwise with his 'skill' at Tetra Master."

"Funny how Sarah summoned him right after he lost a round,"

"You'd think he'd know better than to use 5 of his own card. Self-absorbed little bastard," Ramuh laughed heartily.

Shiva continued to watch the unfolding spectacle, reveling in every painful beating that Bahamut delivered to the moronic beast. Watching Ifrit get his ass burned (literally) never got old.