They were best friends since kindergarten, his blonde hair and blue eyes contrasting her brown hair and brown eyes. But now they're not so little, and high school just started. So when he asks her, she agrees, and he knows from that moment that he'll do anything for her.
Her parents died, and he helps her, even if they're not together anymore. But he made that promise to her, right? But she pushes him away; she pushes everyone away, because that's how she'll heal. He waits for her. He waits for her in the shadows, ready to support her like a friend is supposed to. She moves on without him though, without so much of a glance his way. But she's smiling, so why should he complain. She deserves to smile again at someone she likes, even if it's not him.
She comes up to him and he asks her if she and the new kid are together. She never answers, but she doesn't deny it either. She smiles apologetically and hugs him, saying how he'll always be her best friend, and that she'll always need him.
That's not fair. She can't claim him, not when she's with someone else. She shouldn't need him. But she says she does. What gives him the right to say no, after all she's been through? She needs him, and he has to listen, right? Of course. She's been sad for too long. He knows what it's like to have no parents. His mother is just a dead beat parent, but so what. At least she's not dead.
She says it again, that she wants him to stay with her. As a friend of course, because now she's with the new kid. Despite his heart breaking into a million pieces, he smiles. Of course he'll stay with her. He'll stay and watch as she moves on, even when she still keeps a tight hold on him. How can he move on, if she still has a hold of him? But he can, of course he can. If she can move on, he can too. His mom's not dead. Maybe never around, but she's alive. He can't deny her this. So he doesn't. He just smiles again.
"I'm happy for you. You guys are good together."
And again she doesn't answer, but the soft smile on her lips tells him everything he needs to know, and he feels his heart breaking. But he has to stay by her side, right? Right, the little voice deep in his heart shouts, and he listens, because it's always right.
He watches his sister in the hospital, her neck injured and sore. He sees Jeremy standing by the door, and lets him stay with Vicki alone. Time to go to school, so he calls to Jeremy and they decide to go. He sees Elena, and she asks about Vicki, but he knows it's not really in the front of her mind at the moment. But that's okay. He doesn't need her pity; it's not like Vicki's dead. She's still alive and so Elena doesn't even have to ask, doesn't even have to worry. Because out of everyone, it's not like she has to, especially since she went through way worse. So he fights down the pain that she's only asking out of formality, and answers that she's doing fine. She gives him an apology, quite like the ones she always hated, but he smiles anyways, because at least she voiced some concern. At least he has Vicki.
He lays there, pain like fire courses through him, and he knows he's dying. But someone appears, shoving a hot liquid in his face, and he recoils, disgusted from the weird metallic taste that it has. But the person grabs his head and holds it steady, forcing him to drink. So he does and he feels the pain go away.
Looking up at the person, he sees that it's Caroline. Confused, she tells him that she's a vampire. Vicki mentioned a vampire, that it was a vampire that hurt her. He's instantly angry. Was it Caroline? She's a vampire, did she hurt Vicki? But no, it wasn't her, she tells him. Then who was it? It was Damon. Of course. And he hates that vampire, hates him so deeply that he wants to kill him, kill him for the pain that he's feeling. But he can't. Of course not, since that'd hurt Elena. She likes the dark haired Salvatore, and she deserves to be happy.
But he remembered that his sister, who was turned into a vampire because of Damon, attacked Elena, so Stefan killed her. Vicki attacked Elena so she died. So why can't he kill the dark haired vampire for attacking Vicki? That's what usually happens, right? You have the right to kill the vampire that hurt someone you cared about, right? Wrong. That's only for Elena. Any vampire that hurts, or tries to hurt Elena will die. But anyone else is fair game, aren't they? Since they're not Elena, so why would they care? He hears his bitter thoughts, and they terrify him. No. He won't think like this, it's not her fault. He can't think like this, right? Right, the little voice deep in his heart agrees.
He watches as she kisses the other brother, the one she isn't with. Does she catch him? He'll never know because he wasn't thinking about her, about her reaction. Poor Stefan. If he ever finds out, his heart will be broken, and it's never fun getting your heart broken by Elena. But he won't be bitter, since she has the right to this. She may have cheated- is kissing someone else cheating? He doesn't know, but does it matter? It's Elena, and if anyone has the right to be happy, it's her, right? Even if it'll hurt Stefan, and she can risk breaking both Salvatore brothers' hearts, can anyone really be angry at Elena? Of course not. So he shoves the disappointment he feels towards Elena deep down into his heart, and the little voice deep down in his heart reassures him. He's doing the right thing.
It's his fault. That's what they all tell him, that it's his fault that she died. Well, she didn't die, just turned into a vampire. But that's his fault too, isn't it? Is it all his fault? Yes. It is. And the little voice agrees. He'll do anything for her now. Of course. She deserves it.
She killed someone. He was a hunter, but she killed him out of cold blood. Yes, he was trying to kill vampires, but she still killed a person, and that's murder, right? But she's a vampire, it's in her nature, he should be fine with it, right? He should be fine with it. He should overlook it. He shouldn't care that she killed someone, right? Right.
She turned it off, and burned her house down. And he's scared, because turning it off means she has no emotions. Does that mean she might kill him? Yes, it does. Even Stefan said to be careful around her, she just might kill you.
Well, isn't that great. His childhood friend is an emotionless killer. But he has to stay by her side, he's obligated to stay with her, isn't he? Since it's his fault she turned, so he has to overlook every vampire aspect, right? She killed someone, an innocent human, but that can be overlooked, can't it? Since killing's in her nature, he should be okay with it, he shouldn't care that she's technically a murderer now, right?
But she killed someone, with her own two hands, so is it okay to blame her? No? It isn't okay? How can he be so dumb, of course he can't blame her. Because it's all his fault she's a vampire, so the least he can do is accept her now, despite her mistakes. She deserves it. Right? Right, the little voice said, but this is the first time that it's uncertain.
He watches as not-Elena smiles at him, as the veins shiver up her cheeks and her fangs elongate. He watches, well feels, as she sinks her fangs into his neck, drinking from him selfishly as he starts to limp from blood loss. He calls his best friends name, his first love's name, more like screams it, but she doesn't stop.
It's all part of the plan, he tells himself. He'll stand there and he won't fight back, as long as it helps her. Because that's what friends do, right? Of course, he'll help his friend, that's what he's supposed to do. But still, he can't stop the uncontrollable fear that shoots up his spine as he stands there dying because of his best friends hunger. And grief, essentially.
But it's all part of the plan. Of course it is. They'll come to get her off him, and then snap his neck, killing him. For her. Always for her. But of course he has to agree to it. He owes her, doesn't he? But they're still not here, and he can feel himself starting to black out. Maybe they got rid of the plan, and just agree he deserves to die, at the hands of her, since she died because of him. He sighs at the thought, accepting it, because why shouldn't he? He deserves it doesn't he? To die? He does. He deserves to die. He owes her, just like they tell him. Right? Right, said the voice deep down in his heart, but it's barely in a whisper.
She apologizes, touching his face gently with such the opposite emotion than what she had last night. Well, last night, she didn't even have emotions. She apologizes again and he looks down, accepting her apology without question, because that's what friends do, right? If your best friend makes a mistake, you're obligated to forgive them, right? If they hurt you, of course not by their own fault, you're supposed to get past that right? Right? He can barely hear the voice deep down in his heart. But it's there, and he listens, since it's always right.
Elena's still there, and is waiting for him to finish his train of thought. He touches his neck gingerly, and she apologizes again, guilt radiating off of her. He looks at her, looks at his best friend, who just hours ago was trying to kill him. But she's apologizing so he can't help but let that be water under the bridge, despite the fear that still courses through him when she's around.
He wants to tell her what he's really feeling. To tell her that he needs time to heal. To forgive. To forget. But he just smiles at her and agrees that they're still friends. Because he has to be, right? It wasn't her fault that she hurt him, right? Even if she had no feeling what so ever for him as she drained him, he's supposed to forgive her, right? Because she's in this mess because he veered off the bridge. So, of course they're still friends. Of course he'll sacrifice anything for her, because that's what friends are for, right? He waits for the little voice, but the voice doesn't answer.