I never meant you any harm; your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearm.
Fuck.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
Oh god oh god oh god.
There was water everywhere, sloshing across the cracked, muddy floor, racing to distant corners, excavating cobwebs and insects, and soaking into the fabric of an iconic blue hoodie and some dusty brown pants. Bitter white hair floated, dancing in sadistic, twisting circles, nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. Behind it all, sickly white skin sank just above the surface,
notswimmingbutdrowning
barely alive.
Jack, Jack. Jack, wake up. Jack, wake up. I apologize- my actions were unwarranted, and I withdraw my comments. I have overreacted. Now, if you would be so kind as to grace me with your presence;
Jack, wake up.
His chest was barely moving, heart barely beating, soul barely staying. The winter spirit was melting-
'I don't think I can melt, Pitch,' he had joked, and it was an object of great humor for him; everything was an object of great humor to the sprightly sprite.
"I can be frightened,' Pitch noted, his breath traveling easily over Jack's icy white hair, their proximity alarming. "Why shouldn't you melt?"
Jack closed his eyes, body tense, hands clenching and unclenching, grasping for an answer that didn't exist- but he didn't move away.
"You're the bad guy," he said softly, and it was an answer to the question that was never asked, and a plea for help in the same breath.
"Neither side is guilty if each cause is just."
The distance between them closed, doubled in on itself, and became smaller yet again.
It vanished.
Jack, goddammit, I don't think I'm asking too much.
The spirit faded before his eyes, body still in the grip of the terror that had paralyzed him.
Jack,
Jack.
The water leeched away, creeping down cracks and drainpipes and secret tunnels, leaving the prince of winter and the king of darkness damp, but drying, and leaving the former alive as the latter died inside.
The water is gone, your fear is gone, and I know I should not have enacted it in the first place, but you are the, quote, good guy here- are you not supposed to forgive me?
no, never, never you, never this, no no no never never never
Jack.
He pulled the boy onto his bent knees, cradling him the best way he knew how. (and he didn't know how and it was painfully obvious with an emphasis on pain)
Jack.
The name was becoming repetitive, valueless, dead. Jack was dying.
'You promised.'
'I am the bad guy, Jack. Or did you forget?"
One's hands curled around his staff, one's lips curled around his pride, and they stared each other down, aggressive and emotionally attached.
'I don't think I want to be around somebody who lies. And it wasn't a small lie, Pitch.'
'What would you have rather me done, Jack Frost?' The name was bitter as it slinked out of his mouth. 'Admit that I have been doing exactly what I was intended to do? Told you I was still in the business of frightening children because that's the only thing that allows me to survive? What would you have done then? Left?' He was bitter, and he was cruel, and he was sad, and each broke Jack a little on the inside in a different way. 'There is much more at stake for me here, Jack.'
'Maybe this is my cue to leave. Obviously, this wasn't supposed to even happen-'
'Jack, you must not leave.'
Jack, for the first time, felt threatened by something icy; Pitch's voice was very, very icy.
'You can't stop me, Pitch.'
'Wrong.'
And yes, it was low to call upon Jack's greatest fear, but he had done the same thing to Pitch, pulling away his hopes for love or even companionship and letting him drown in his loneliness. Pitch just returned the favor, letting Jack drown too.
Jack Frost, I have apologized and requested your return and pulled you from your fear and I do not know what else you want of me.
The boy faded.
My fears did not kill me, why should yours get the privilege of killing you? I have given you everything! Would you so mock me as to take it all and leave me here? I have nothing left, Jack Frost! Goddammit, I cannot stand to lose this time!
agony, agony, terror terror terror notthistimenotthistimepleasenotthistimejack
Please?
And those icy, pale eyes twitched, and flickered open.
I gave you all.