"Jesus Christ what are y-… you know what, I'm not even gonna ask."

Staring at his best friend, whose face was currently half inside a raccoons gut, John Watson came to the realization (one of many) that he was in desperate need of a vacation. Turning and looking around the living room saw overturned tables, papers strewn here and there, a…. was that a machete sticking out of the wall?

"He ate the key", Sherlock's muffled voice was heard.

Taking a deep breath, John replied at patiently as he could, "I'm guessing you're talking about the raccoon?"

"Obviously", came the clipped reply.

"Alright then… What key?"

"The key of a vault belonging to the Italian mafia. Said vault currently contains enough money to buy a small country."

Sighing wearily, John just nodded and proceeded to put the groceries he had bought in the kitchen. He had given up a long time ago to try to understand how Sherlock got himself into situations like these. The only reason he was here in the first place was because he had lost a bet with Mary and had been forced to buy this stuff for his friend. "Ok then Sherlock, have fun with your raccoon", he said as started towards the door.

However, just as he was standing at the door, the ringing of Sherlock's phone reached his ears. Glancing towards Sherlock, he let out another sigh. "You going to get that?"

It came as no surprise that he was very effectively ignored.

Pursing his lips, the doctor snatched up the device and quickly pressed the button. "Hello?"

"Hello there", a smooth, feminine yet cheery voice replied. "Is Sherlock Holmes available?"

"Actually he's sort of busy right now", john replied as he saw the raccoon he had assumed was dead start to writhe. "Who is this, maybe I can take a message?"

"Well you can tell Mr. Holmes, when he's free, that Calliope wanted to talk to him. Tell him it's urgent."

"I will."

"Thank you", then silence.

Looking over to the sleuth, John was relieved to see him examining a grand looking, silver key rather than digging around a raccoons insides.

"Sherlock."

"Hm?"

"Don't you want to know who called?"

"Oh yes, of course", he replied sounding positively disinterested.

"It was some girl. Her name was Calliope."

It was like a switch had been turned. Immediately Sherlock's entire attention was on John as he practically sprang forward to grab his phone, almost toppling John over. "Sherlock, what the hell?!"

Ignoring him (he seemed to do that a lot); Sherlock put the phone to his ear and impatiently paced around the room. "Sherlock you want to fill me in?"

Ignored.

"I guess not."

Upon hearing Sherlock's voice, the doctor returned his attention to the consulting detective. "Calliope?"

Unfortunately for John, he couldn't hear the mystery woman on the other side of the line, so he was forced to make sense of the conversation just by what Sherlock was saying. "Is it over?"

…

"Are you here?"

…

"How long?"

…

"Right now? Very well."

And before John could get any questions in, his friend was out of the door, hurriedly putting his coat on. "Sherlock, what is going on?"

"Hurry John, it's not nice to keep a lady waiting."

"I'm not moving until you tell me what's happening!"

Groaning in obvious annoyance, Sherlock turned on his heel and grabbed John by his shoulders. Locking him with an intense gaze, he quickly spoke. "At this current moment, we are going to sit in a taxi, we are going to drive to a certain rendezvous point where my sister is waiting, and we are going to bring her home. Understand? Very good, let's go."

No. No john didn't understand. He didn't understand even remotely. In a shocked daze, he followed his friend outside where he was already hailing a cab. Blinking, the military man climbed into the car next to Sherlock and shook his head. "Sherlock?"

"Hm?"

"Sister?"

"Yes."

"Alright then."

It was not alright. This made no sense. Whatsoever. Squeezing his eyes shut, John thought back to a term he had read on the internet the other day. What was it the kids called it? Oh yes, shook. That was what it was. John Hamish Watson was shook to his core. God he needed that vacation.

A/N: So… ya. I don't really know where I'm going with this but I was hella bored and I thought why not? We shall just have to wait and see I guess.