A heart.
I never understood what it was, and even now I have to wonder what is so special about it. We could feel, I know we could. I felt when I was around you, and I could see it, hidden away in the depths of your crystal eyes, you could feel when you were around me. Maybe that was why you rarely let me leave your side; you wanted to feel. But even when you were away, I still felt. I felt alone, I felt scared. I felt worried that you might not come back this time, that you would be killed.
Death.
You said we can't die, that we simply fade away into nothing. But you also said we don't exist, that we ourselves are nothing. If we are already the nothing we fade into, then how is it that we disappear instead of dying? Even you don't know, I've asked you before. You simply said I'd understand later, that once I had a heart it would all be clear to me. But how can a heart think, how can it increase understanding? I can already think, I can already understand.
Thinking.
I thought of you, as you faded away. I watched you through blue eyes, blue eyes that didn't belong to me. You said I made you feel, that I was the only one you liked. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say something? I tried so many times to explain how I felt, and every time you would tell me, 'We don't have hearts, we cannot feel.' You lied to me, but somehow, I couldn't be mad. You gave your life for him, for me.
Nothing.
You faded so slow, so painfully slow. It hurt to see you like that, to see you becoming the nothing you so willingly called yourself. You weren't nothing, not to me. You were my everything, I just never had a chance to tell you. I started to cry, when he placed his hands on your chest, and there was nothing to feel. There was never anything there to feel, not a beat, not a thump. Just an echo of what should've been.
Axel.
How do you know when you've disappeared, when you're dead, if you were never there to begin with?
How do you know you're dead when your heart has never beat?
How do you know you're becoming nothing, if nothing is all that ever was?
Answer me that, and I'll admit that you're gone. Tell me how, and I'll agree that you've left.
But you can't can you?
Because you're not gone,
just missing.