Hello My Fanfictioners!
I recently remembered a convo I had with my-
Okay hold up. I'm hoping most of you have read " Wonders of a Glue Bottle"
If not, this plot happened in the same class, just on a diffrent day.
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS!
The only thing I own is my OC.
I also have an FMA fic in progress, but the OC will be-
Bah, Nevermind. Whatever.
LET'S BEGIN SHALL WE!
(P.S. My OC is a girl! Major Kris Hastens)

"I can't take this anymore!"

I slump my head down on my desk, which is covered in paperwork.

"You're gonna have ta get used to it, Kris. The Colonel is always forcing his paperwork on us."

I shift my head to the side and see Jean leaning back in his chair, an unlit cigarette hanging in the corner of his mouth. His arms are crossed over his broad chest, and he closes his eyes for a few moments.

"Don't let the Lieutenant catch you sleeping, Jean. She might just add more work on our plates."

I look to my right and see Kain pushing his glasses up on his face, they most likely slipped lower due to all the papers he has to look down at. I prop my head up on my elbows and peer at Falman, who's continuing his work.
Typical, he's always doing what he's asked to do.

"Vato, do you have a life outside of work?"

"What?! What makes you think that?"

He looks up at me, and I can't help but laugh at the surprise in his voice. I pick my pen up and point the nub at him, saying,

"It's just that you always do the paperwork without as much as a single complaint out of you. So, I thought I would just ask."

"I do have a life, thank you very much!"

He exclaims, but Breda, Kain, Jean and I all share a glance with each other. Vato gives a suspicious look and comments,

"What are you guys talking about?"

"You have no life, we all know it. So don't lie."

The four of us say at somewhat the same time. Falman just rolls his eyes and tosses a crumpled up peice of paper at my head. I catch it and toss it into the waste basket by Roy's desk. It falls in and I cheer softly, and I notice something odd. I poke Jean, who opens his eyes groggily and croaks,

"Wha?"

I point towards Roy's desk and he looks over to it, before turning back to me and grinning evily. Breda seems to notice, as he says,

"What's up Havoc?"

"We got a sleeper."

Breda looks towards the desk too, his grin wide. He throws a potato chip from his opened bag at Kain and then gestures to Roy. Kain does and he instantly looks concerned.

"Don't do it guys. What if Lieutenant Hawkeye comes in? I don't want to get on her bad side."

"You worry too much, Furey. Just relax and let Kris and I handle this."

I look at Jean and exclaim,

"What do you mean, 'Let Kris and I handle this'? Do you plan on the Colonel and the Lieutenant kicking our asses over what you plan on doing?!"

He chuckles and opens a drawer on his small cubicle like desk. He pulls out a permanent marker and stands, snagging my arm and tugging me after him.

"Jean! Wait! I!"

He clamps a hand over my mouth and says quietly,

"Shh! Do you wanna wake him up?"

I shake my head and he removes his hand, creeping closer to Roy's desk. I sigh and with a glance back at the others, Breda's urging me to keep going, but Falman and Kain look like they are going to be sick. I move closer to his desk, hearing cute little snores coming from the Flame Alchemist, who's head is cushioned on his arm. He looks adorable with his tousseled hair and his usually unemotional mask is dropped, showing slight dark bags under his eyes.
He must have been staying later than the rest of us.
Jean gestures me to hold his face up a little, and I do.
Wow, his face is smoother than I thought it would be. I can see why people call him baby-faced behind his back.
I watch as Jean uncaps the marker, before slowly marking the stoic Flame Alchemists face. After a while, Breda whispered harshly,

"The hawk is returning to the nest! The hawk is returning to the nest!"

Jean quickly caps the marker and returns to his seat, leaving me holding the Colonel's face. I use one hand to fix his arms, before laying his head down on them, so he won't hurt himself when Riza comes in. He mutters something under his breath, but I don't listen to it, as I rush back to my seat. I sit just as Riza walks in, a huge pile of papers in her arms. The five us resume working, hoping she doesn't notice our nervousness. She sighs as she notices Roy sleeping, and dumps the stack of papers on his desk, creating a loud banging noise. Roy's head pops up like a jack-in-the-box and as I see his face, I can't help but burst out laughing. Jean and the others join in, and I notice Riza has a slight smile on her face. He looks at all of us laughing, a tick mark pulsing on his forehead.

"What the hell are you all laughing at?"

"See for yourself, sir."

Riza says, handing him a small mirror. He holds it up to his face and he yelps, making us laugh even harder. On his forehead, along with the tick mark, is the word 'Lazy' in caps. He's become a cat, with a black nose and thin whiskers, a spiral surroundes his right eye, and all black around his left, creating a black eye. Before Roy can yell at us, who better than the Fullmetal Alchemist and his brother comes waltzing in. Ed takes one look at Roy's face, before falling to the ground and laughing his ass off. Al chuckles and Roy yells,

"NOW WHO THE HELL DID THIS?!"

"I always thought you were more of a dog person, Colonel. But I gotta say, cat does suit you."

Ed comments, with a semi-straight face. The look Roy gives him sends us all back into laughing, and I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes. He looks at Jean and says,

"Do you have a death wish, 2nd Lieutenant Havoc?"

Jean rubs the back of his head and says,

"Why do you always suspect it's me?"

"Maybe it's because you're THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS ENOUGH GUTS TO PULL PRANKS ON ME!"

"That doesn't necessarily mean I was the one that did it this time."

Jean retorts. Roy's tick mark grows bigger and he exclaims,

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DRAW ON MY FACE FOR?!"

"We couldn't help it sir. We were bored out of our minds and you were sleeping, so yeah..."

I say, trailing off at the end because of the smoldering glare Roy's giving me. The drawings on his face though, don't prevent me from giggling again and he exhales deeply. He stands and moves towards the door, his hands clenched at his sides. He pulls open the door and the force of his slamming of the door, makes his papers fall to the ground. I stand and kneel down to help Riza pick up his papers, and she comments,

"Major Hastens, did you consider waking the Colonel up?"

I handed her a few papers and reply,

"It might have crossed my mind, Lieutenant, but boredom will make you do things."

She smiles and we both stand, placing the papers back on his desk. She places her hand on my shoulder and says,

"I suggest next time that you do something less elaborate."

I nod and state,

"Yes of course sir."

I return back to my seat and we all converse quietly, before the door is pushed open. Jean and the rest of us shut up and resume working quietly, each sharing glances with each other. I watch out of the corner of my eye and see Roy sit down at his desk, his face freshly scrubbed of the permanent marker. He notices me watching and states,

"Let this be a warning to all of you. Watch your backs, because I will get you back."

We all reply with a 'Yes Sir' and continue the paperwork. I could imagine Roy already scheming to get me and Jean back, so I had to be extra cautious. I face palm and sigh, one thought running through my head,
And this is why I will never help Jean out with any of his schemes ever again.

Finish!
This did actually happen, the drawing on the face part of it though.
I was the one that volunteered my sharpie and my two dude friends wrote on the kids face.
My sharpie was silver, because they were drawing on an African American's face.
No, we weren't being racist, it was just he was always sleeping and our teacher didn't seem to give a fudge.
Please Review!
They make me feel loved!
-PC101