Disclaimer: I do not own Jak and Daxter, but I do own Connor!

It's Christmas time and Connor ruined Jak and Keira's wedding, so why not their Christmas too? Read and enjoy!

A Very Un-Merry Christmas

Chapter 1: A Family Christmas

"I can't believe it's our first Christmas together!" Keira squealed. "Oh my God, it's going to be soooooooo much fun!"

"Is Samos staying for Christmas?" Jak asked.

"Well yeah – he is my father." Keira replied. Jak mimed shooting himself in the head.

"Can I invite Damas?" Jak asked.

"..." Keira looked at him. "Jak, Damas is dead."

"I meant ghost Damas." Jak said.

"I think you're getting confused with Halloween." Keira pointed out.

"Oh yeah." Jak said. "But still, I'm inviting ghost Damas. I've never had a family Christmas before."

"What about Christmas back in Sandover?" Keira asked.

"You can't call that family." Jak replied. "The whole village was there."

"The village was family!" Keira protested.

"No." Jak said. "There was the mayor who kept falling asleep in his dinner, my uncle... was he really my uncle? Anyway, he set fire to his moustache, that crazy bird lady who wouldn't let us eat the turkey because she thought it was still alive, the sculptor who fed the Christmas ham to that goddamn muse, the fisherman who smelt like fish..."

"Well, you'd expect a fisherman to smell like fish." Keira rolled her eyes.

"... and that farmer forced me to eat vegetables." Jak finished.

"You needed to eat vegetables!" Keira protested. "All you ever ate was junk food!"

"So?! I still turned out fine!"

"Maybe we should invite everyone to Christmas." Keira suggested.

"Not the whole of Haven, Kras, Sandover and Spargus..." Jak groaned.

"NO!" Keira scowled. "Just our friends!"

"Are we still inviting Samos?" Jak asked.

"Yes." Keira replied.

"BUT HE'S NOT MY FRIEND!" Jak exploded.

"Jak, everyone is basically family, so we're inviting our family for Christmas." Keira stated.

"Even Erol and Razer?"

"Yes."

"Even after they left Connor to try and blow up the house?"

"They're going to be under surveillance."

"I'm not spying on them." Jak snapped. "They can be someone else's problem."

"Do you think we should invite Connor?" Keira asked.

"..."

"He'll probably turn up anyway, even if we don't invite him."

"..."

"Say something, please?"

"..."

"Jak?"

"..."

"Fine." Keira snapped. "Don't say anything."

"Connor is NOT coming for Christmas." Jak declared.

"How are you going to stop him?" Keira asked. "Remember what Erol said: 'He's an unpredictable madman'!"

"Are you sure Erol wasn't talking about himself?" Jak asked thoughtfully.

"I'm sure." Keira replied.

"We're not inviting Connor." Jak sighed. "And if he does appear, we'll just have to turn him away."

-----------

"HI!"

"What are you doing here?" Jak asked weakly, glaring at Connor, who was standing in front of him, wearing a Santa Clause outfit.

"I've got a job at the shopping centre as Santa so I decided to stop by on my way home!" Connor explained, pulling Jak into a hug. "Oh my God, it's AGES since I've seen you!"

"It's only a few months..." Jak said, trying to detach Connor from him.

"Can I come in?" Connor asked.

"No." Jak replied quickly.

"Why not?" Connor asked. "It's rude to leave someone standing on your doorstep."

"I'm busy." Jak replied.

"Jak! I need you to help me write these invitations!" Keira called from down the hall.

"Invitations?" Connor asked. "OH for Christmas!"

"Yes, Connor." Jak replied through gritted teeth. "For our family and friends."

"Make sure there's plenty of glitter on mine." Connor winked.

"Connor..." Jak sighed.

"What?" Connor asked. "Did you run out of glitter?"

"Jak?" Keira asked. "Who are you talking to?" she walked to the front door and saw Jak enveloped in a hug from a man dressed like Santa Clause.

"Hey Keira." Connor grinned.

"Connor!" Keira exclaimed. "How... nice... to see you."

"It's nice to see you too." Connor said.

"I was just telling Connor that he..." Jak started to say.

"... Is invited for Christmas!" Keira exclaimed.

"Oh thank you so much!" Connor gasped. "I don't have any to spend Christmas with!" Jak pulled her aside.

"I was going to say isn't." Jak growled.

"Jak, how can we turn him away?" Keira asked, pointing to Connor, dressed in his Santa outfit.

"Very easily." Jak replied through gritted teeth.

"He's just lonely. You heard him yourself – he doesn't have anyone to spend Christmas with." Keira protested. "Christmas is all about being kind to others."

"I thought it was about presents and food."

"No."

"Fine." Jak sighed. "He can come round on Christmas day... but he can't stay any longer than that."

"Deal." Keira said. She rushed back into the house then reappeared with a bag of envelopes. "Connor, could you do me a favour?"

"Sure."

"Can you deliver these to everyone?" Keira asked.

"Of course!" Connor said. "Don't worry – I'll be back in a flash!"

-----------

Erol screamed when he opened the door to his and Razer's apartment, to reveal Connor standing on his doorstep, dressed like Santa Clause.

"Hi Erol, long time no see." Connor grinned.

"What-are-you-doing-here?" Erol asked very slowly, pointing his gun at Connor's head.

"I came to deliver your invite to Jak and Keira's for Christmas." Connor explained, holding the envelope out to Erol. Erol snatched the envelope from Connor and tore it open. His eyes scanned the letter.

"RAZER!" Erol yelled. Razer came downstairs and also screamed when he saw Connor.

"What?" he asked, glaring at the Santa Clause impersonator on their doorstep.

"Are we going to Jak and Keira's for Christmas?" Erol asked.

"I guess so." Razer replied. Erol ticked the box that said 'yes' and then wrote: 'only if we can kill Connor'. Erol tucked the letter back into the envelope and gave it to Connor before slamming the door in his face.

-----------

Connor knocked on the palace door and was greeted by two badass looking Freedom League Guards. They took him into the throne room, where Ashelin was sitting on the throne with Torn standing beside her.

"CONNOR?!" Ashelin yelled. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HIM IN!"

"Oh, well that's a nice hello." Connor grumbled.

"What are you doing here?" Torn asked.

"I'm delivering invitations for Jak and Keira's Christmas party." Connor replied smugly.

"We're going." Ashelin said.

"Hey Torn, do you still have that warped crush on Jak?" Connor asked.

"Nope." Torn replied, remembering when he crashed Jak and Keira's wedding. "Which is why me and Ashelin are married."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING?" Connor demanded.

"We eloped." Torn sighed.

"Oh, I guess that's why." Connor said. "Well, I have more invitations to deliver. I'll see you guys there!" Connor was escorted out of the throne room.

-----------

Connor walked into the Naughty Ottsel, and Tess immediately pointed a gun at him, glaring.

"Get out." Tess snapped.

"What did I do?" Connor asked. "I'm just here to deliver an invitation to Jak and Keira's!"

"Oh." Tess said, lowering the gun. "Daxter, you can put the ninja throwing stars away!"

"Fine." Daxter sighed.

"Why are you delivering Jak and Keira's invitations?" Tess asked, accepting the invitation from Connor.

"Keira asked me to." Connor replied. "And I think the Santa outfit makes it an even more fitting task."

"Are you going to be there?" Daxter asked.

"Yep." Connor beamed. Tess and Daxter looked at each other hesitantly, before ticking the 'yes' box.

-----------

"Wow." Jak said, looking through the pile of invitations Connor had dropped off, before they had finally got rid of him. "Everyone still agreed to come, even though Connor's going to be here."

"What's so surprising?" Keira asked. "He's a nice guy... just a little misunderstood."

"That's an understatement." Jak glowered. "I don't understand him AT ALL."

"Well, maybe spending time with him over Christmas will help you get to know him." Keira suggested.

"I'll try to get to know him – but don't blame me if I blow his brains out."

"Erol might beat you to it."

"Don't make me turn this into a race. You know I'll win."

"Just make sure it isn't in the lounge – I don't think the white furniture would look as good splattered with Connor's brains."

Ta dah! The first chapter! I told you all Connor would return after "I'm Trying To Say I Do" and let me say, it's been great fun writing this chapter!

Reviews are love.