Author's note: I apologise for any mistakes regarding the year the books were set in as well as mistakes regarding the house of hades, as I have not read that book.
PS: This story is currently undergoing careful renovations. Expect frequent changes. I've gotten an English teacher to help with the story so I could be informed of little problems I had missed here and there. Now then, I know how much people hate these little intros so I'm gonna cut it off here.
Enjoy! (Any reviews, good or bad, are greatly appreciated)
Son of Apollo: Mush.
My story starts, I suppose, on a warm midsummer day. More precisely, the nineteenth of February, 2012. Or, I believe it does. The list of stories involving madness and plain bad luck goes on for miles and spans over several years. Don't believe me? Well, I've already been expelled from twelve different schools nationwide, escaped from a laboratory filled with white clad monsters and murdered my gym teacher.
All of these reasons (and then some) are the reason I'm currently sitting- no, drowsing, in a theory lesson in a frustratingly boring military training camp.
The only reason I was here at all was because of my often ridiculous and dangerous accidents.
It's not my fault I blew up the school kitchen, that bowl of soup was out to get me.
"OI! DID I GIVE YOU PERMISION TO GET SOME BEAUTY REST PRINCESS!? BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE I DID!" shouted a dry, gravelly voice.
My head snapped up with so much speed mouse traps would be jealous.
"No sir!" I shouted back.
How dare he … I thought venomously.
"IF YOU FALL ASLEEP IN CLASS AGAIN THEN I WILL DRAG YOU BY THE EAR TO THE DUNNY AND HAVE YOU SLEEP THERE EVERY SINGLE NIGHT UNTIL YOU LEARN SOME RESPECT AND PAY ATTENTION DURING CLASS!" he shouted directly into my ear.
"IF I MAY SIR! IT SEEMS YOU FORGOT TO SCRAPE SOME OF THE SAND OUT OF YOUR VAGINA, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL UP YOUR UGLY-ASS BOYFREIND AND GET A HAND WITH THAT!" (Small note, I have no problem with gay people, the line was just too perfect not to write. Sorry for the interruption)
Everyone (forty or fifty people) froze.
You see, just like I'm not known for my self-control, he's not exactly known for his … pleasant reactions to insults.
He slowly started breathing, slowly and gently at first but quickly changing to something reminding me of a large bull with a red hot poker up its ass.
Simply put, he was pissed.
"HENRY SUNSHATTER! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!? IF YOU'RE NOT I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU APART AND FEED YOU TO MY HOUSE CAT!" my fuckwit of a trainer yelled.
I really don't take well to being yelled at. My mother says I take after my father, whoever he is, in that regard. So, I did what anyone (I assume) would do in my position.
I kicked him in the balls.
I watched in sadistic satisfaction as he rolled around on the floor. I'm not the best kicker, but boots with steel grips would hurt. I know there will be punishment for this…
But it was so worth it.
Five hours later…
Okay, maybe not worth it after all.
Detention with coach mush-balls was like torture.
He had me read the entire book on military manoeuvres in one afternoon, even with my dyslexia.
And, to add the cherry to the cake, every hour he would have me try to rewrite the entire book from memory; complete with pictures, notes and not a single sliver of humour throughout the entire thing.
He would scream at me every time I got a word or diagram wrong, snarled if I spoke and straight up acted like a right royal dick all night long. I'm actually stunned his throat wasn't so torn up that he couldn't talk.
One thing I will point out about dickhead is that he's very good at not holding grudges, so I know it won't be a continued punishment. One night of painful migraines and general daily annoyances, then forgiveness and pretending this never happened.
So he let me go pack because camp had ended and all the recruits had to go pack their bags. At least he didn't make me wait until I would have to race the bus. We (Me and the recruits) also had to wait for their note telling them we were allowed back next year.
I wondered if I'll get a note. If I did, it would have been the cockup of the century right there.
I stumble out of the dormitory hissing in pain because of the massive migraine brought on by dick-bag's constant shouting.
Unexpectedly, I heard a very welcome voice behind me. Oooh… This day just got a whole lot better.
"Hello Hen, you look like you got run over by a fucking freight train" said the voice of my brother in all but blood: Jack Williams.
"You're looking fantastic as well Jack, only like you were hit by a tractor, not the entire farm" I replied coolly, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably. I'm sure he heard the "Snrk" that I tried so hard to muffle.
We chatted as we walked toward the diner for breakfast, thinking it would be just another day.
Boy, were we wrong.
You see, Jack and I often fall silent while walking, and I usually fill the gap with singing. So, when we did fall silent I of course started to sing. I've always been able to sing so well it sounded like it was coming out of a high quality speaker, instrument noise included. The doctors couldn't explain it and advised me to sing as often as possible in the hopes that we might figure out how I do it. My mother says my father was a fantastic musician and that he had a similar ability, even though he couldn't write a song to save his life due to being completely tone deaf. At least I know I'm not a total freak.
Good thing I enjoy singing.
Song: Badluck by Hotspur. watch?v=14az6xm4dzE
"La la la la la
La…
"Really dude?" said a frustrated Jack"You know this song really creeps me out"
I just smirked and continue singing.
Do you hear your heart in your chest?
Do you wonder what's next?
Do you wonder what's waiting beneath your bed?
A creak in the stairs; Do you wonder what's there?
Do you whisper it under your breath, no.
Are you scared of the dark?
Do you shake in the night?
Do you hide in the covers with all of the lights on?
Are you scared?
Things go bump in the night.
If things go right,
You'll be sleeping with the lights on.
Everybody's out tonight.
If things go right,
You know it's bad luck baby tonight.
La la la-
"Ahem…"
I stopped singing and turned, slightly miffed, towards whoever had interrupted my singing.
It was a boy. He had black hair but seemed slightly too pale for it. On top of that he had some if the weirdest clothes poking out of his military gear. He looked around fourteen, making me wonder why he was here.
"Yes?" I ask shortly.
"Officer dickless wants to talk to you" He replied levelly.
I smirked at his nickname for Officer Drillbit (Yes, that's actually his name. Ridiculous, huh?).
"Okay,-" I reply "-I'll go see what Sir Shoutsalot wants"
I started to walk off, but end up stopping mid-step. Turning to face the boy, I asked a question that had been on my mind for a while now.
"What's your name?"
"Nico. Nico Di Angelo" he answered cheerily.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Henry. See you when I see you"
"Only if Drillhead doesn't kill you" Said the now named Nico.
Ten minutes later…
We arrived at Drillbit's office panting and out of breath. Why did they have to have the offices on the other side of camp to the dorms?
"Come in" came the merciless voice from behind the heavy wooden door.
Jack and I exchanged a quick glance before entering Drillbit's Office.
"Sunshatter, Williams" he acknowledged us with a nod.
"Now then" he continued "I would like you both to go to the dance, instead of sitting out like you usually do. Now, I know you've entered your forms to stay in the dormitory for the duration of the dance but if you're not at the dance we can't keep an eye on you"
"I'd much rather not"
Drillbit narrowed his eyes at me.
"This is not negotiable. Now then, go get ready. BOTH of you"
I wished he wouldn't snap out the word "both" like that. Already I can feel my headache returning.
"Fine" I answered shortly before turning on my heel and stomping out of his office.
"What are you still doing here Jack?" I heard from somewhere behind me.
"Oh, right, sorry"
As I walked, I got quite lost in horrid thoughts on the most entertaining ways to kill Drillbit.
I hardly noticed when Jack fell into step beside me round about ten minutes later.
"Um, Hen?"
"Yes?" I asked coldly, indicating that I didn't want to talk.
"That Nico kid is waiting by the dorms" he answered nervously- "which we have just reached" he added.
I looked up and, indeed, we had reached the dorms. Not only that, but Nico was chatting to someone with short, spiky blond hair and light blue eyes that looked like they should be sparkling with electric joy. You know … the kind that chain from one person to another?
His eyes just … weren't.
"What are we going to do Nico?" the boy asked with a slightly broken voice.
"I don't know, not yet. However, Percy would want us to stop Gaia. Let's make sure we do that for him and Annabeth"
I waited until the blond boy stopped talking before I snuck up behind Nico and tapped his shoulder, causing him to jump. He whirled around, Alarmed
"Wha- oh, it's only you" he said, sounding relieved.
"Who else?" I responded with a smirk.
"Possibly a skeleton. Your fingers are bony"
An evil thought came to mind and I smiled.
"I need to find joke that tickles your funny bone that's the case" I said with a grin.
"That was terrible. Put more backbone into it" he said with a small smile.
This guy was amazing. I mean, the puns were worse than the smell caused by four-hundred gym socks and several truckloads of blue cheese (don't ask, you really don't want to know) but I revelled in our terrible puns anyway.
There was a comfortable silence, only broken when Nico or I traded puns.
"I don't trust stairs" said Nico.
"Why?" I asked.
Nico smirked before saying "They're always up to something!"
I just chuckled. These puns were only getting worse as time went on.
"Ahem" the other boy finally said, obviously very, very sick of our puns.
"Wha- oh yes. Henry, this is Jason Grace" Nico said warmly. The terrible cheesy puns obviously put him in a better mood.
"Hey Jason" I said with a smile.
Something suddenly brought a rather important thought to mind, one I had forgotten in my post-pun haze.
"Crap!" I suddenly shouted out, startling the two older boys as I burst past them.
"Yeah," said Jack, causing the boys to jump, they had not realised he was there "he does that a lot"
I slammed and locked the door to my dorm room, closed the curtains and quickly got changed into a bathrobe and, tucking a towel, my shower kit and my tux firmly under my left arm, departed the room and went into the showers a couple of halls down.
I had a dance to prepare for, even if I didn't want to go.
And screw everyone if they thought I wouldn't be well dressed.