Cosmic Divine Crystalline: AkatsukiGiving
At a traffic light, two teenagers were smoking pot laying in the middle of the street as hover cars kept zooming over them and honking at them. "Fucking idiot!" Pain said out his hover car and hovered right over them and onto his way. "Having to run an evil organization and I have this crap to go through- oh my god... I hope this doesn't get worse." He said to himself as he spun around in his hover car only to make it to where he was to go- a 7/11. Pain got out and inside only to find Deidara in there looking at the Gatorade. "Buy some it's going to be a trip." Pain said to him as Deidara only nodded. "Figured but I'm debating on what kind to get." He told Pain.
"Get any!" Pain told him. "We have a thanksgiving to go too and whats worse? Is that I have to drive with you." He said. "Whats wrong with me?" Deidara asked as he began to light a cigarette filled with pot. "That! I got to smell that!" Pain said pointing at it. "Hey man, relax." Deidara said to him. "Relax? I just seen two pot heads in the middle of a street just nearby!" Pain told him trying to gather things at the small market. "Well, they probably were too high." Deidara said as Pain just banged his head on the glass panel and took out a Gatorade and gave it to Deidara. "Here here!" he said. "Oh... hey cool you picked one out for me." Deidara said walking with him to the check stand.
They paid as the clerk looked scared looking at the two of them. "So Konan isn't driving with you?" Deidara asked. "Yes she is but I decided to pick you up first since your, not at the base which you was suppose to be." Pain told him with a grunt. They both walked out and into the car. "So where are we going again?" Deidara asked. "To Kisame's fathers house for thanksgiving his mansion." Pain said getting into the car and buckling himself and then Deidara up with the seat belt since he was dazed. "Its like I'm taking care of a child." Pain said as he then spun out of the drive way of the store and out into the traffic as the traffic honked at him as he barely missed a few hover cars.
Konan waited in the rain with an umbrella staring mad at what was in front of her, which was christmas decorations. After a moment she then used her paper ability powers and paper unfolded from the ground and spun rapidly slicing up the decorations then the car pulled up and she acted innocent as Pain looked across from there base at the neighbor's homes decorations. "Wow... they really made it look like a Halloween attraction this time." Pain said. "Yeah, lets go." Konan said acting innocent as Deidara was in the back of the car munching on chips. "Does he know we are going to eat at-" Konan said as Pain quickly pointed out. "High." He said and she just sighed. "Okay." She said and looked out the window as Pain drove.
"So... I figured maybe when we get there we could go up to one of the mansion's rooms, nice and quiet and-" Pain started as Konan then quickly spoke up. "Infront of Deidara!?" She said aiming her thumb at the back seat as Pain looked back at Deidara. "Oh relax he probably won't remember this." He said. "Yeah, I will." Deidara said simply as Pain just sighed. "Look you two go bang I don't care." Deidara said to them as Konan crossed her arms. "I may kill him before we get there." She said to Pain.
Meanwhile, Kisame was honking the horn while at the old dale pub. An old western bar now restaurant/bar and Kakuzu came out. "Shut up! I can hear you boy!" He said all cranky like and got in the passenger seat. "Wait- what the hell is all this!" Kakuzu said looking at magazines of older women that was well, nude magazines. "My business." Kisame said grabbing it and throwing into the back. "You need a younger woman boy!" Kakuzu yelled at him. "I'm not dating anyone its just for me! And whats wrong with older women... there nice and loose and-" Kisame started to speak than in the back seat was Itachi who rubbed his head. "Ugh..." Itachi said to himself. "Hey! You don't even get any motivation to get a girl! Or get laid!" Kisame said to him and began to drive.
"So who's house are we going to? Your dads?" Itachi asked. "Yes." Kisame replied. "How is your dad doing?" Itachi asked. "I think he's okay. He said he's no longer lonely since mom died." Kisame said. "Oh, sorry to hear that... how old was she?" Itachi asked. "Four years." Kisame said which made Kakuzu look and Itachi to look. "What the hell?" Kakuzu asked. "Hm? Well, she was a gold fish." Kisame said as both Itachi and Kakuzu looked away in a bit of fright. "Before he was married to misses bear." Kisame said as Kakuzu frowned. "Okay! I lived too damn long to hear this shit! I'm almost hundred years old! I don't need to hear this!" Kakuzu yelled as Kisame stopped the car in the middle of the road as other hover cars flew by around him honking. "Let me tell you both something! Do not dare insult my dad and his unique love qualities! I wouldn't have been born after all." Kisame said to them both and then began to drive again. "God best strike your dad..." Itachi mumbled. "Huh?" Kisame said looking in the mirror to look at Itachi. "I said God best strike your dad for the abominations he's committed." Itachi said sternly as then there was silence. "DOOOHHHHH boy... Cop behind us." Kakuzu said as Kisame sighed. "Shit..." He said and began to pull over.
The cop walked up to the window. "Sir-" The cop started as Kisame spoke up. "Sorry! I know I stopped in the middle of traffic but these two idiots here think its weird my dad was married to misses goldfish and to misses gopher and to misses beaver- well actually I didn't like misses beaver but-" Kisame said as the cop then slammed his fist on the hood of the hover car. "Shut up! Give me your licences and registration." He said sternly as Kisame sighed to get it out. "And by the way sir, your father sounds fucked up." He said. Kisame in shock looking at the officer not knowing what to say. "Thank you!" Kakuzu said.
Meanwhile, Hidan and Sasori were both in the truck and in the back was most of the food they were bringing with a tarp over it. Hidan looking around then grinned. "I think I seen in that couples home them having sex." He said. "Do you always try to look through peoples windows driving by?" Sasori asked while driving. "Heh yeah... you can see something you wouldn't see in a life time." Hidan said to him as Sasori just rolled his eyes. "I can't believe we are going through another thanksgiving and this time to Kisame's fathers place..." Sasori said. "Wonder who he's married to this time! Probably a porkypine- interesting story that will be! hahaha!" Hidan said laughing as Sasori didn't seem amused. "Disgusting but then Kisame wouldn't be born I guess." Sasori said. "How the hell does that work again to make Kisame? Like his dad had sex with a female shark but how the hell is that possible?" Hidan asked. "Don't know, I don't think the creators of Naruto wanted to get into that either." Sasori said breaking the fourth wall and continued to do so. "We are just characters in a fanfiction created by some mastermind." Sasori said as Hidan's eyebrow arched and mouth open only to shrug it off. "Meh... what ever the hell you're talking about. All I know is, I hope the rest of the foods good." He said. "I mean Pain's bringing the turkey so it best not be wrecked up." Hidan said as Sasori sighed. "Yea... And we got the rest of the shit in the back."