Snape knocked on the door of Dumbledore's office. It magically opened.
'Come in, Severus,' said Dumbledore. 'Minerva and I were just discussing something that has recently taken place in the Muggle world.'
The door closed behind Snape. 'And why would that concern us, Headmaster?' asked Snape.
Dumbledore raised his wand, but Snape put up a hand and conjured a chair for himself. It was wooden and hard-backed. Snape had had all too much experience of Dumbledore's ridiculous chintz armchairs. They were much too comfortable for Snape, who like to be in as much pain as possible.
'Well, Severus, I think that the Muggle Prime Minister's idea is very good,' said Dumbledore. 'He wants school children to be taught valuable life lessons.'
Snape nodded. 'Lessons in what, may I ask?'
'Albus, this is a ridiculous idea,' put in Professor McGonagall. Her face was coated in a thin layer of sweat and her usually tight bun was falling down.
'Severus, the lessons-'
'Albus, please stop!'
'The-'
McGonagall leapt out of her chair, her wand clattering to the floor, and pounced onto Dumbledore, slapping her hand over his mouth and some of his beard. An invisible force pulled McGonagall off, and Dumbledore bellowed, 'SEX!'
McGonagall dropped to the floor.
'Headmaster, I think I heard you wrong, could you repeat that please?' asked Snape, trying to steady his breathing.
'The lessons are to educate children in sexual matters, including things such as consent, sexually transmitted diseases and contraception,' said Dumbledore.
McGonagall got off the floor. She was shaking. 'Albus, the whole idea makes no sense! Who would teach this anyway?'
'Well, I was hoping you two would help me to teach it.'
There was a silence apart from the noise of the contents of two people's stomach's rising and being forced back down again.
'Well, if that's it I have business to be attending to,' said Dumbledore, clapping his hands together and striding out of his office.
Snape and McGonagall didn't speak.
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