Full Summary: They've never met. James knew him, but Kendall didn't even know his name. Yet, an encounter that spells disaster, could possibly be the light at the end of James' tunnel. Follow James as he struggles with everything, only to be found by his knight in shining armor... Eventually.

Basically, this story will be switching between James and Kendall, though the first chapter is just James. And remember, love is never a smooth course. The biggest warning I could give is that James has an eating disorder, as well as verbal parental abuse.

You Found Me

Chapter One; Chances.

The toothbrush shook in his hands, his grip only becoming tighter when he realised the possibility of dropping the item. He stared at the mirror, dried tears marking his face as he stared at the reflection that was supposed to be him, and yet, looked nothing like the boy that he was a year ago. A whole year and he went from something, an actual person, to this, a blubbering wreck left where he is now.

Shaking, James lowered himself to the floor, bare knees scratching against the tiles of the bathroom. He placed his hands outwards, crawling along the floor until he reached the toilet. His whole body was shaking violently, wave after wave of pain rushing through his body, scorching him and making him that much closer to the edge. He squeezed his eyes shut, scrubbing at them with his free hand before running it through his brown mop.

The number flashed on the inside of his eyelids, dancing, taunting him.

It was too big.

Too large.

James was too big, too large. He was an abomination, walking around with rolls and rolls of fat layered over his skin. Except, he really wasn't.

His eyes fell on the large amount of candy wrappers, discarded in the trash near by. It was sickening how he could eat so much. Making the last movement, he pulled up the toilet seat, bending his head over the bowl. Toothbrush still rocking in his hand, fresh tears began to brim in his eyes. They rolled down his cheek, flying off the edge and splashing against the floor. He was fat. Useless, ugly, imperfect and just plain fat. They were the only words that ran through his mind, trying to block out the taunting dance the digits sealed on his eyelids were giving him.

As one hand, the one with the toothbrush, travelled up to his mouth, his other ventured to his stomach. His fingers grazed over his rippled abs, but to him, he was rubbing mounds of disgusting human flesh that was sticking out. Pushing out. Making him look ugly.

Spliting his lips, he pushed the toothbrush in fast, holding back the urge to gag. He let the object play with his tonsils, constantly forcing his body to hold on for a few more seconds. His hand pressed deeper into his stomach, flat out sinking in. Then, quickly, he could feel it all bubbling on the inside. He threw the toothbrush to the floor, dipping his head one final time until he made a coughing sound. Vomit soon followed, splashing against the porcelain bowl, spewing at the bottom, mixing with the water.

The vomitting was coming to a stop, so naturally, James forced his hand into his stomach harder.

He needed to rid the food. The ugliness. The overall discontent with having to consume food and put weight on.

Why couldn't people see that he was fat? Everyone told him he was the perfect weight.

But he wasn't perfect and he was nowhere near the perfect weight. He still had miles to go, in his mind.

The lack of food in his system caused his body to shake, sweat beading on his forehead before it rolled down his face, joining the tears. Why couldn't he be perfect? It was all he ever wanted and asked for. He never asked for much, heck, he asked for barely anything in the world. All he wanted was to be perfect and that was something that was just simply out of his reach, clearly.

Staggering to his feet, he dusted down his vest and boxer shorts, walking back to his room to get ready for another pointless day at school.

Throwing on some clothes that made his body slightly more appealing to the fat that clung to his body, James walked towards the door - until his reflection was caught in his bedroom mirror. Everywhere he went, there always seemed to be a mirror, ever ready to remind him of what he is. His hand absently ran over his chest, conscious of what he looked like to other people. James Diamond didn't care what other people thought too much, but he hated the look himself. People noticing it made himself self-conscious, pushing himself further and further. He didn't like the way he looked. He didn't need to be perfect, but he didn't want to be so imperfect. It was a confliction he would never get out of.

James walked through the kitchen, bowing his head and letting his brown fringe fall in front of his eyes. He noted his mother and father, sat at the island of their kitchen. He couldn't face them. They were more judgemental then anyone he had ever met.

"Good morning James," Mrs. Diamond commented, looking up from her newspaper. "I see you've decided to show your face before actually going to school. It's about time, considering you don't seem to care anymore."

James kept quiet. He had learned over the years never to respond. There was never a way to actually fight the purpose. Instead, the brunette walked over to the sink, hoping to get a glass of water without a nasty comment.

"Oh, water? Well, I am surprised. Usually, you just want to stock yourself up on fat and calories, I'm surprised you're not the size of a blimp, although, you're getting close to it."

Self-conscious, James' hand fell down on his stomach sadly. He left it there, holding it, wondering why his stomach decided to stick out so much? He tried to keep his body down. Everytime he made an effort to quench his hunger, a comment was spat from one of his parents, directed at him to put him down. That's what it was like within the Diamond household. Perfection was a way of life. If you didn't reach it, you never would and that was something you had to get over, get through and let wash over your head.

But James couldn't do it. He wanted normality and instead, he got this.

James finished the glass, placing it down and avoiding the taunting sight of both his parents and the fridge.

"Are you going to school now?" Mrs. Diamond asked sternly.

James froze. "Y-Yeah.."

He didn't mean to make his voice so dainty, so weak and conflicted. But that's what she done to him. She done that, Mr. Diamond ignored completely but his cold gaze, glued on James, was enough to want him to sink into a hole.

"Well, you best keep up your studies," Mrs. Diamond looked back at her newspaper. "After all, your looks are not going to get you anywhere, so you have to be good at something."

The brunette fought back against the emotions fighting against him. Instead, he nodded, continuing his walk away from the kitchen and out the door. He pulled forth his keys, unlocked his car and jumped in, taking a deep sigh as he started his ignition, rolling out the drive and down the road.

Some people would call James lucky. Lucky that his parents were big shots, earning tons of money and having the dream, travelling lifestyle. But not everything was as great as what people believed. His parents might be successful, but they were cold and calculated. They wanted more from their only son then he could actually give and no matter how hard he tried, nothing would be good enough. Nothing would ever be able to satisfy their crazy dreams.

The car hummed as he drove down the street, noticing the trees and sky just roll on by, the soft sound of the radio beating in the background.

He just wanted to keep driving. To just drive away, to run away and escape from everything he was subjected too. It wouldn't be hard. Surprisingly, despite how little they thought of him, they set up some money in a trust fund. He could use that. It wouldn't be a bad idea, because even though some of the problems would follow him, at least the biggest would vanish in the Californian horizon.

He pulled into the carpark, taking another sigh as he climbed out, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He locked the car and walked across the grass, noticing the small crowds forming for their morning talks and rituals. Another thing James was never allowed. Another level he just couldn't reach. He never bothered trying to make friends, but really, his parents would never approve. As he crossed the cheerleaders, he caught sight of the blonde one, Jo, staring at his stomach. His mind berated him for allowing himself to get so fat. For eating too much. He knew it and now people were noticing it.

James pushed open the door, heading straight to his locker. No-one would talk to him so it didn't matter. After all, despite being the famous Diamond child, people had learned that James was just so far away from the world, so disconnected to everything, he couldn't be saved. It was far too late, although, some people took this the wrong way. They believed James thought himself higher and better than them all. If only they could dip themselves into his head, to realise that they were miles off.

James closed the metal door, waiting for the click before hugging his books as he walked to class, noticing more eyes fall on. He never said anything wrong. He never stepped out of line, but of course, teenagers jump to conclusions and that's something they did with him. A rich child, in public school, staying away from other kids basically screamed snobby.

James was just too tired to deny it.

Too tired to fight against everything.

And that's why he got too where he is. Trying to please parents that would never be pleased. Trying to work through his life, despite every obstacle knocking him down and laughing at him. As he entered his History class, his Mom's words scorched his brain.

"After all, your looks are not going to get you anywhere, so you have to be good at something."

He did try, though. He took singing lessons, but Mrs. Diamond said he sounded like a cat being strangled. He tried dance, to find out his limbs were like spaghetti and his stomach was too round and not flat enough. He tried art, but again, nothing came of it. Every hobby that resulted in him being alone, he tried but never was good enough. Nothing pleased the hard woman. James slid into his seat, quiet, watching the other teenagers pour in.

His head bowed when their teacher, Miss. Wainwright, walked in.

"Morning everybody!" the young woman chirped. "Before we begin, I have a notice for Kendall Knight?"

James looked up carefully, watching the dirty blonde in the corner bang his head against the wooden desk, fellow jocks jeering and laughing at him for no doubt getting in trouble. Not so much that Kendall Knight was a troublemaker, just that he had his fair share of problems. But he was never a bully. In fact, something James had cottoned onto at the beginning of freshman year, was that Kendall was nice to everyone, whether they were high up like him or lower down.

"You're not in trouble, Kendall, so boys behave," the boys instantly went quiet as Kendall slid out of his seat. "The principle wants to see you about academics."

The blonde nodded before leaving the room, flashing a smile at his boys before his eyes fell on James, the brunette instantly jerking away. He was already made conscious enough, he didn't need another person to remind him of his imperfections.

"Okay, so, lets begin the topic for this semester!"

James zoned out the minute the woman began talking, eyes finding the clock and watching the hands turn painstakingly slow. He should try, that's what his mother would have wanted, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. His stomach was in pain, his mind dizzy and right now, he was struggling to even keep himself the slightest bit alert.

"James, could I see you after class?" Miss. Wainwright asked politely, just as the metal bell screeched.

The kids began climbing out of their seats, heading for the door to freedom. James waited, patiently, holding onto his messenger bag like at any minute, it would up and walk away. He didn't need to get in trouble. Trouble meant phonecalls to parents and that lead to disappoint, something that James had enough of, let alone more shoved on top.

"Yes, Miss?"

"You looked awfully distracted today, James, are you sure you're actually okay? You seem off." Miss. Wainwright stated calmly.

James took a deep breath, sighing as he pushed on his best, toothy smile. He needed to lead her off, after all. He couldn't let this get back to his overwhelming parents. That would only lead to more and more pain being placed in James' hands, weighing him down.

"I'm fine, honestly," James lied. "I just... Didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

Miss. Wainwright didn't look too convinced. She took a moment, checking the boy's body for tell-tell signs that he was ill. When she was satisfied, she nodded, turning around back to the board and letting James scurry out of the room, shuddering from the close encounter. But the close encounter had already done it's mark. He saw the way the young teacher was staring at his body, watching the fat rumble and lay there. He could see in her eyes that she was disgusted by the way he looked. He knew it, and now, his mind and stomach were agreeing. Quickly, James picked up his feet and ran across the campus, going to the one place he knew he would be safe.

Abandoned toilets.

That was something he was kinda glad for. For some reason, his school decided that there would be an area that needed renovations. Until that fateful day, the area would be cleaned away. Kids were allowed to go there, there was nothing stopping you, it was just a thing that the teenagers tended to avoid. Why run across campus to abandoned toilets, where there were perfectly good ones closer to school?

James didn't care though. He didn't care that he was going to be late to class, that he would be even more sick. All he cared about, all that ran through his mind, was cleansing his body of the disgusting feeling of his weight.

Bending over the bowl, James slammed a fist into his stomach as he shoved two fingers down his throat harshly, gagging almost instantly. Most people would say the feeling was horrible, but for James, it was pure. It was a feeling that brought him up from his feet, levitated him and made him feel worthy. Then, when it was over, he would crash hard into the ground. He coughed one last time, pulling back his fingers as the vomit began to spew into the toilet. Once he stopped, he stayed still, weak and exhausted. He ran another hand through his hair, hot tears pricking at his eyes.

He hated this. He hated what he had become through pressure.

Through his own, fragile mind, courtesy of his parents, he had learned to hate himself. To expect nothing of himself.

"A-Are you okay?"

James' head snapped around, fear set in his eyes. Nobody ever came here. Nobody. James knew that since he came here to purge himself whenever he could feel the eyes lingering on his body so harshly. His eyes followed the body upwards, noticing it was Kendall, the dirty blonde looking down at James with a mixture of confusion, sadness and even a slight sickness, which didn't help James' already brutal mind, the cogs churning.

"You look a bit pale... D-Do you want me to take you to the nurse's office or something?" Kendall asked politely, shifting back and forth between the balls of his feet. No doubt he felt awkward about the situation, especially considering it was James Diamond who everyone assumed was so perfect.

"N-No," James tripped over the words, wiping frantically at his mouth to rid the potential stench of the sick. "I-I-I'm fine thanks..."

Kendall didn't look convinced. The blonde pushed his hands deep in his pockets, head bowing down. "Are you sure? I mean, you didn't sound it."

James couldn't respond. What excuse could he make up, anyway? If it was past lunch, at least he could say that it was the food from the canteen. That excuse was completely out the window, and now, one of the more popular and athletic people in the school was staring at him, bent over a toilet, stomach contents bubbling in the water.

"I said I'm fine." James responded slightly cold but shaky.

But once again, it didn't deter the jock. Kendall stepped forward, bending down on one knee, hand prepared to pat James on the back or something. The minute James caught on, his body jerked upwards, startling the other boy.

"I said I was fine," James pressed hard to make his voice strong. "I'm just not f-feeling well, that's all, nothing major."

Kendall frowned, standing back up, hands in the air. "If you say so, I was only just checking if you were okay, you know, don't tend to hear that many people willingly be sick within school lines since it's social suicide."

James couldn't hold back the scoff that bubbled. Instead, he dusted off his clothes and stepped past Kendall without a word, scooping up his messenger bag on the way.

"Hey, at least tell me your name or something?" Kendall called, but to no use, James was already out the door, mind foggy and body weak.

The rest of the day seemingly flew by, much to James' delight and chagrin. Out of school meant out the way of cautious, nosy eyes that burned into his school. But no school meant home, with cold parents that would belittle him into a puddle. It took all of his strength to push the key into the lock of his front door, minding twisting but the metal key not. He knew they would be there, waiting, watching.

Swallowing every nerve that burned his body, he done the deed, closing the door softly behind him.

Within seconds, Mrs. Diamond's head snapped around the doorway, cold eyes glaring. "So the son decided to turn up after all."

And he was back to square one. He stood there, numb, hands mindlessly wandering to his stomach and clutching onto it. His messenger bag slid down slowly, falling to the floor with a thud. Mrs. Diamond scoffed as the object settled, rolling her eyes.

"You might as well go upstairs, James, unless you have something worthy of talking about, although I hardly doubt that. But sure, come and amuse me if you feel the need."

Stepping back and forth, James had to decide. Going through to the kitchen meant a lot more abuse and right now, James was tired... Just so damn tired and weak and emotionally cold. He wanted to curl into a ball and cry until his body was without water at all. Until there was nothing left but a puddle of tears, and somehow, some way, James had been swallowed by a pit of nothing. But not going into the kitchen would cost him just as big of price. She would only use that to her advantage later on. Taking a shaky breath, James strode towards the stairs, internally debating that he was far too unstable to handle it now. Tomorrow, he'd be strong.

It was a common promise he grasped onto.

But morning would come and the promise would vanish as he scoffed down food only to purge his body straight after.

As he pushed open his door, he heard his mother at the bottom of the stairs, voice still cold and harsh.

"You never want to spend time with us! Plain useless, just like you've always been!"

He bit down on his lip, tasting the tang of coppery blood. He closed his door silently, walking over to his bed and climbing underneath the covers, bringing his knees to his chest as his body shook with each sob that left its painful imprisonment. Then, he drifted off to sleep, blackness smothering him.

He just prayed things were different. That someone, something, anything could save him.

Okay, first shot at Kames, actually. I hope this turns out good enough! I don't know about updating, we'll see how things come along, maybe even responses and such!

Plus, I've always wanted to do a really broken, imperfect James and protective Kendall. :)

For how long this will be - Well, I'm not sure. I'm thinking maybe 10 chapters in total!