Thirteen Things The Nations Won't Tell You (But secretly want you to know)
A/N: I couldn't resist after seeing all those articles on Yahoo. These take not much time, so here goes.
Rated K+ for now. Maybe will change upon doing France or Romano, because you know it's impossible to stay rated K with those two.
Disclaimer: I own nothing :D
Thirteen Things ENGLAND Won't Tell You
1. I really hate it when someone adds over a teaspoon full of sugar to his or her tea. It ruins the flavor with all of that sugar, and if you're like that bloody wanker America, you're going to get diabetes someday.
2. If you're France and constantly hitting on me or my people, "get away you perverted frog" means "no" and not "yes" or whatever frog language is for that. Something is wrong with your translator, so you should hurry up and get it fixed.
3. If you ever cross the path between my tea and me, expect a very painful death or war if you are a nation. China would know.
4. No, we do not all have bad teeth and have tea with the queen every day. Shut your trap and stop blabbing about these ridiculous stereotypes.
5. If you are Russia, please know I'm still trying to fix Busby's chair… don't get in my revenge plans because I think they might be to your tastes someday. (I plan on bloody murdering America, so enjoy this while you can.)
6. I can tell the difference between Canada and America, but only if I look closely and am not fuming from something stupid the wanker did earlier. Unfortunately, that is never, so I apologize in advance to you, Canada.
7. If you are Austria and feel up to an aristocratic and friendly debate over a cup of tea or two, simply call me up. I'm ready anytime to have a chat with you. Be advised I'm not in the best of moods these days due to certain idiotic nations always crowding around me.
8. If you are Prussia, I advise that you go find Denmark right now for drinking, because currently I am occupied with my needlework and finishing up this idiotic list.
9. I do realize my recipes and magic sometimes do not always work out quite right… but magic and Flying Mint Bunny are real, and there certainly is no such thing as aliens. I guarantee that disrespectful buddy of America's is a genetically altered drunkard who learned how to construct a bloody saucer.
10. I do not wear Union Jack boxers, contrary to what America or France says. Neither do I wear pink unicorn boxers, though the idea sounds interesting. If you really want to know what I am wearing right now, I fear you will not find out since I intend on locking my door very tight to make sure a Frenchman does not swagger in this very moment offering to teach me about "l'amour" or whatever froggy nonsense he normally spouts.
11. If you are Belarus, please go away. Russia is not here, and I doubt he will ever be here. Perhaps a good place to check is that trapdoor behind the shelf, which Russia thinks he hid well. Flying Mint Bunny told me of that one recently when we went to Moscow for the World Conference.
12. I certainly do not play that idiotic game America showed me a few weeks ago… alright, I admit it. Whoever thought up the idea of a robot unicorn excreting rainbows was not quite right in the head though I do appreciate his creativity.
13. Germany, I offer my condolences about Italy and Prussia's latest escapade. I know what it feels like to be surrounded by morons.
A/N: Review! :D