You walked pass me in the hall way as if you didnt know me.

As if all our memories disappeared.

As if.. I didn't exsist.

I can't fight it. I can't deny. I stay calm, yet in my head I'm going crazy. I'm still in love with you. But I guess you don't feel the same way. I hope I'm not just another one of your toys. I hope you did really love me. Liar. Liar. You said you did.

"Oi..Naruto!" Kiba yelled, snapping me back to reality. "What's wrong with ya? You don't look too well." I laughed, with such pain that only my eyes can express. Dammit, please don't cry. Not now. Kiba stared at me for a moment, until I wiped the water in my eyes and spoke, " Damn you, made me laugh till my eyes are tearing!" He laughed out as well, " Fuck, you almost scared the shit outta me."

"I'm going to go for a smoke. You coming?" I took out a lighter.

"What about Chemistry class?" "Hah, you're kidding right, since when do you give a shit." I jumped across a low-fence between the school and the world. Kiba laughed and followed as well, while nodding. I took a puff cigarette, blew the smoke coming right out from my mouth and nose. That was heaven. Nothing could compare, it felt like freedom. From the chaotic life and my miserable heart that no one could see. I'm breaking and falling apart. Fucking apart.

But Kiba couldn't see that. I don't blame him. I've never let him in. Never will. What a loser i am.

Kiba did the same after taking my box of cigarette and a stick out from it. He blew, " What'cha thinking, man?" I shook my head before sucking in the bad shit that could kill me.

xxxxx

I went home immediately after that. Kiba followed along. "Mum, I'm home."

" Ah, you ungrateful brat. Skipped class again?" The usual as she was bitching around.

" Go fucking get a job if you're so free. You ain't doing any good shit lying your useless ass around here!" It was clear she was drunk again. She was always drunk. With her blonde hair and two low-tied ponytails, everyone knew who she was. She is Tsunade, the woman who was once the leader of the hookers. Shes too old for that shit now, she's 50 and no one fucking believes me.

This year I would turn 17. And up till now, I never seen my father.

"Job, eh?" I made it sound like a joke. I turned to Kiba and asked if he needed any help with his illegal sales. None needed. My mum eventually got mad and kicked my "useless" ass out, again.

No money, no job and no home. Fucking great.

"Wanna come over tonight again?" It wasn't unusual, everytime my mother is drunk, everything i do is wrong and eventually i'll get kicked out from my own house.

"Nah, you'll head home first. I need some space."

xxxxx

It was midnight, I was roaming around the empty streets like some kind of homeless person. I'm only 17. Feeling like a fool, i went and stole some beer. I ran out of the convenient store and hid in a dark alley and drank my way to heaven. My heart's crushed. My life's ruined.

I ran up all the way to my used to be lover's house, I couldn't stand it. I couldn't think straight without him. He always made my life easier, better and happier. Why the fuck is he not with me now?! I banged on the door like some kind of insane motherfucker, little did i know i was so drunk i was hardly aware what the fuck i was doing.

The perfectly gorgeous guy opened the door, with his messy spikey hair, navy long sleeve shirt with his sleeves pulled up to his elbows and his ripped skinnies that only he would wear to sleep. I missed him, everything about him. He was shocked to see me, and being the drunk shit i am, I pushed him onto the ground, got on top of him and held him but the collar of his shirt, " WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, YOU PROMISED TO STAY. YOU PROMISED TO LOVE ME FOREVER."

I yelled that i thought it woke the whole neighbour. Tears just keep rolling and rolling down my faces across my scarred cheeks. He seemed even more shocked, with his eyes and mouth open even though no sounds were made. It seemed like i lost control, i punched him again and again and again. Like forever. Kicked him, slapped him, punched him, hurt him physically the way he hurt me mentally and emotionally. But it could never made me feel better. And he didn't defend himself, or pushed me away. He just foolishly let me whack him up.

xxxxx

The morning finally came. And the nightmare was over. My head was spinning so badly i could hardly get out of bed. It's wasn't my bed, neither was it Kiba's.

It wasn't Kiba, neither was it my mum. It was sasuke's bed. And sasuke.

It wasn't a nightmare. He was covered in scars and bruises, slits and scratches, burn marks and dried blood.

Did i do this? Did i do this to him? If so, why does my heart still ache so badly. I broke down again, feeling like i've completely gone insane. I swallowed my screams. Why is the pain so unbearable. Soft screams came out, eventually waking up the light sleeper. He quickly sat up and buried me in his arms. He's still so warm. And loving.

I pushed him away with all my force even though my head was pounding.

" Stop trying to act like you care. Hell, i don't want you to pretend like you love me, let me be crazy over you and leave me crazy over you. I'd die."

He shook his head, " That isn't my intention."

"Th-then why the fuck did you leave me! Everything was fucking fuck perfect!" This fury rage boiling in my blood, just waiting to explode. After all the years of "loving me" and then suddenly disappear out of my life and come back pretend not even knowing me, what the fuck? This ain't a show. Im no clown, no fool, i hate him.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't- i didn't know." ... " I didn't know you would be like this." He continued.

Didn't know?! Didn't know?! Whose leg you pulling man, you liar, you bastard. We were so happy, and you were faking it all along. How could you not know i love you, how could you not know i'd end up like this.. without you.

I kept my cool, but inside my mind I was going insane.

My hands trembling with pure pain, hurt, misery and hatred.

All the anger in me just want to make me hit the shit out of him again.

"I'm s-s-s..sorry for y-our wounds.." I had to say it. It was my fault after all..

" It's alright, I deserved it for the bastard I am." He kissed my forehead.

I slapped him. " STOP IT, STOP TRYING TO PLAY NICE AND THEN LEAVE ME TO DIE. STOP IT."

He was in pain. After the fresh wounds i caused him, i just gave a direct hit on them again. "I-i-i..I'm sorry!" I almost cried out. He smiled softly with sharp eyes that could almost kill. I got lost in those pale lips, and deep black eyes again.

" Please take care of me. " He whispered.

Wha-? What did he just say. I was just taken aback.