A/N This just came to me a few moments ago. And I've wanted to do something like this for a while, but this is the best version I've managed to get. I hope you enjoy and I will try my best to continue.

Far too often we've been betrayed. Betrayed, hurt…almost killed by the ones we thought we could trust. And though betrayal has only occurred once for us, it was one time too many. And as for being hurt or almost killed…that was my fault. I hurt my friends by not admitting fear…and nearly killed the world around me when my rage threatened to consume me. But betrayal is a risk when you protect the city you live in. But injury and fatality? They are things best avoided. Especially when they come from me.

I've read too often, of feelings that I will never feel, and things I can never do. I've read poems, of darkness and hate, which will bring destruction to the world around me. I've seen films and antics from my friends, that make my mouth twitch, but I cannot laugh, for something WILL happen. And unknown to all, I've read tales and heard songs, dealing with the most dangerous feeling I could ever express…love.

Why is it that for everyone else, this feeling gives them the 'warm fuzzy' experience I will never have? Why is it I was cursed with what some call 'looks' and yet I cannot do as others do? I cannot react to whistles given to me in the street, no matter how much I want to either smile or shout at them. I always thought I may be able to get away with it, but then I saw what happened when another had my powers. One who is overflowing with emotions and wears her heart on her sleeve.

I saw the destruction and the chaos created, and remember nearly becoming destroyed by her inexperience. But worst of all, her powers thrive on emotion. And for the first time, I could express my emotion, feel joy as I flew, confidence as I fought and fury as I tapped into the one power I've ever admired her use. And to be trained to feel, and suddenly to hide them again? It is an unwanted experience. She thought I meditated because I wanted the peace and I missed it…but truth be told? If she had kept my powers, I would never have missed the exercise. I needed the extra time, to relearn what I had taught, not a day before.

I could not express regret when Terra, who fought beside us, betrayed then protected us…I could not feel sorrow when she left. I had to stay calm when I saw him trapped and helpless beneath her, talking to her to fight for control. I could never have screamed in terror or called out his name as those beside me did. I couldn't sob in relief when we got him out, nor could I express the deep feeling of regret that I did not know this girl, the way we should have known her. The way she deserved to be known.

My feelings have been repressed to prevent hurting others, but lately they have been hurting me. And I've been told to write down everything. If I don't, how else will they escape? And on these pages, I will try my very best to figure out what triggered the injury to myself, and the downward spiral that was exhaustion, depression and sudden pain. A pain I did not mean to inflict, but which inflicted itself on me.

I am Raven…and this is my path to discovery and recovery. I can only hope this will be the case.