I don't own HIMYM or anything related to it.
The Bathroom
It all started with a bathroom doorknob.
Marshall and Lily were with their son, Nicholas, and Ted was on a date that was destined to fail. Barney and Robin were at the bar alone. Barney was at the bar hitting on some bimbo in a tight red turtleneck while Robin was trying to finish her drink.
"Oh well, she seemed smart anyway. Whatca' doing, Scherbatsky?" Barney asked sliding into the other saide of the booth.
"Nothing you should be concerned about." Robin answered rudely. "I have to go, gotta go to work soon and I want to get some sleep." She said desperate to get the hell out of there.
"Oh, I forgot my phone up there earlier, I'll come with you." Barney said happily.
Robin wasn't real pleased with this. All she wanted was to get away without the total feeling of awkwardness.
Kids, it had been a little over a year since they broke up and they haven't been alone together once.
They walked up to the apartment in awkward silence till Robin slips on something white and slippery.
"You ok?" Barney asked concerned trying to help her up.
"I'm fine. But what the hell is this?" She asked a little pissed off fighting off his help.
"Oh, that's mine. I was with this Brazilian chick earlier and I pulled out a tad too early." Said Barney like he just said, hey lets go get coffee.
Robin had no clue what to say she was so grossed out and pissed off. She then started yelling at him and they spent the remainder of the time yelling inaudible sayings. They finally reached the apartment and kept on going straight until they reached the bathroom and Barney slammed the door too engaged in the argument.
Oh, Kids forgot to mention an important part of the story. The story of, the doorknob. In 2007 your Aunt Lily got trapped in the bathroom because they doorknob stopped working. I never fixed it because it quickly became one of the little quirks of the old apartment that I grew to love.
"Wait, wait, wait, did you just slam the door?" Robin said concerned.
"Yah why?" Barney said confused
"You Asshole! You know that doorknob doesn't work anymore!" Robin yelled really pissed off.
"Oh, shit!" Barney said just remembering.
Robin walked over to the door and tries to open it, she fails. "Shit!" she mutters.
"That's okay. Ted's on a date with some smart chick, he should be home soon." Barney said.
"You know Ted actually likes smart girls." Robin said still pissed.
"What would you classify as smart?" Barney asked.
Robin smacks him upside the head.
"Ouch!" Barney said and rubbed his head and sat on the toilet.
"Of all the people to get stuck in a room with." Robin mutters and looks out the window.
"Hey! I heard that! Rude much." Barney said a little pissed.
"Did you get your phone?" Robin asked hopefully.
"Oh, shit! Forgot about that." Barney said just remembering.
"Dam the dumpster's empty." Robin muttered.
"Woe I'm really the last person you'd want to be stuck in room with." Barney said matter-of-factly.
"Not really." Robin lied.
"You want to jump out a window to get away." Barney said
"Oh! and I wonder who that reminds me of." Robin said yelled.
The two start to fight more.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Robin woke up in the tub with Barney's jacket draped over her.
"Oh, look who's up. Water?" Barney said cheerfully sitting on the toilet.
"What? That's in a mouthwash top." Robin said a little groggy and removing the Barney's jacket from her as she starts to get up.
"Just trying to be nice. Ted's not home yet. I know he'll be back in the morning. He probably got lucky." Barney said nicely and informatively, spills ou tthe water and drops the top in the sink.
"What time is it?" Robin asked
"Not a clue." Barney said looking out the window.
"I don't remember falling asleep in the tub." Robin said confused.
"Yah, you fell asleep with your head against the toilet so I moved you. You still snore you know. You said you get that fixed." Barney said with a hint of humor in his voice.
"You remembered I snore sometimes?" Robin asked confused sitting in the tub.
"Yah, how could I forget? And it's like, all the time." Barney asked like it common knowledge that Robin snored.
She smiled and gave him a hug.
XXXXXXXXXXX
The next morning Ted came home and as soon as the door shut cries for help arose.
"What the hell?" Ted muttered confused he walked toward the bathroom door.
The cries of help and bangs on the door continued.
Ted opens the door and Robin and Barney ran out and gave Ted a hug.
"Thank God, Ted." Barney said relieved.
"Finally, it's about time!" Robin said relieved.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what happened?" Ted asked. "Did you guys have sex?"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, God no. We didn't have sex. No." Robin said trying to convince him.
"Ok. I need to pee so if you guys would go that would be great." Ted said unsurely and a little uncomfortably.
"See you guys later." Barney said, grabbed his phone and took off.
"I'm gonna get some cereal. I'm starving." Robin said and hurried off to the kitchen.
Ted went into the bathroom carefully almost closed the door and started to look through the garbage. Just as he suspected.
"You lying bastards." Ted chuckled as he saw a used condom on top of the garbage can.
I have a small second chapter to conclude this. I would've put it on this chapter but thought this was a great way to end it. Please review. This is my first fan fic!