A/N: HayleyMaree2000 asked to see something from Nicole's perspective, so here it is!
As usual, they do belong to Dick Wolf, except for Maggie...
Hatred is one long wait. ---Rene Maran
She couldn't believe it. Were it not for the accompanying photograph, she would have vehemently denied it could be her. She had no idea why she'd decided to flip through the social pages, as if she cared who was getting married or having babies in the Big Apple, but she felt a certain satisfaction as she re-read the wedding announcement of Richard Waters and Alexandra Eames.
As she pulled out a worn briefcase and a pair of scissors, she thought about Bobby. What must he be feeling, losing her to someone else? Oh, she knew. He tried to hide it, and he was probably successful in keeping it from the rest of the world, but even if she never truly felt love, she knew it when she saw it, and she saw it in him.
She clipped the announcement and placed it in a file from the briefcase that was labeled simply "Bobby." Every mention in the paper, every photograph, every record she could find was added to this file. Taking out her pocket calendar, she opened it to the month of March and circled the twenty-fifth. She was going to New York.
She looked out the window of the plane and thought about the Big Apple. The only reason she ever came back any more was Bobby Goren. She took great delight in torturing him, in watching him squirm under her thumb, in staying one half-step ahead of the great detective. And she wondered...did he feel the same warm thrill deep inside that she did whenever she saw him? Did he have the same surge of hot desire when he was close to her?
She laughed bitterly. Not when Eames was nearby, he didn't. How could he possibly desire her when he was so much in love with his partner? She pictured the petite blonde detective in her mind and had no doubt that she tortured Bobby's dreams. She was equally certain that she herself was relegated to his nightmares. And yet...she could not help the raw passion that welled up in her every time she saw him, every time she thought about him. If she had any capacity for love, she would have loved him. But she didn't. So lust and passion were all that were left to her. Lust and passion, along with fury that he did not feel the same way, intense jealousy for the one woman who did have his heart, and deep hatred for her, not only because she did have his heart, but because she was turning him away. She knew Bobby Goren. His heart would never belong to any other woman but Alexandra Eames.
She watched the city skyline as the plane came in on its final approach. She could have settled in nicely here and been content except for the fact that she was wanted by the NYPD, wanted by Bobby Goren, only not in the way she'd prefer to be wanted by him. She had a definite preference for women in her bed, but she was not above seducing any man if it would get her what she wanted. But Bobby would not be seduced by her. He played the game, but he never fell for her manipulations. Oh, she'd gotten him good with Croyden, but then he and Eames had gotten her back. Eames was always there to steady him when he faltered and to catch him when he fell. But Eames was getting married, and she wondered: who would be there for him now?
She hid in the shadows during the ceremony, watching him for any reaction. There was none. Of course he would withdraw. That was how he dealt with pain. Later, at the reception, she watched him avoid the happy couple. He stayed off by himself and she was debating about making her presence known. If his level of distress was great enough, she very well might be able to finally get him into bed with her. She had just decided that was what she was going to do when someone approached him and sat down with him. She could tell he was a cop, and she recognized him from seeing him in the Major Case squad room, but she didn't know him. Then Eames approached him and the other cop left.
She felt jealousy well up from deep inside as Eames pulled up a chair and sat close to him. He leaned toward her and kissed her cheek. She talked with him for a short while, touching his face with obvious affection. Even from her distant vantage point, she could tell there was something between the partners. Married to another, yet she still carried a burning torch for the man she called partner. She felt blind fury clench at her gut when Eames kissed him, remained close as she talked to him and then stood and, with a final caress, she walked away. She had not thought it in Eames to be cruel to him, but maybe she truly did not know how he felt about her. After all, she was just a cop, not a student of human behavior and psychology like her partner. Bobby could read people. She doubted Eames had that same ability. She did not hate Eames for loving Bobby. She hated her for rendering him incapable of loving anyone else.
Once Eames was gone, he hit the bar hard, and she saw an opportunity. Sober, she never had a chance with him. But given a little time...and a lot of alcohol...she smiled a wicked smile. She didn't care how it came about, but she was now confident that before day's end, she would have Bobby Goren.
He wandered out onto a balcony with his drink. She'd lost count of how many he'd put away so far, but he wasn't ready for her yet. She watched him take off his jacket and drape it over the back of a chair. Then he pulled off his tie and folded it neatly, and he collapsed into another chair. Setting the tie on the arm of the chair, he leaned over and picked up his drink, watching the sky as he nursed it. She was mildly discouraged that he was slowing his consumption; she hated waiting for what she wanted when it was right in front of her.
Then that other cop made another appearance, with a woman this time. They sat down with him and talked for a while. To her great consternation and deep disappointment, they remained with him for the rest of the night. Bobby continued drinking; it was very clear that this wedding had been interminably difficult for him. As evening turned into night, his friend took him home.
She was disappointed, but it wouldn't last. She would be back, and he would be hers. Eames was out of the picture; she belonged to another man. Let him adjust to that for awhile and then she would come back to New York and make him hers.
tbc...