Curry Sauce
A Rimmer/Lister FanFiction
There are some things Lister just can't resist
:-:
Lister was having a good evening – he was doing one of his favourite things in one of his favourite places; that is to say he was eating vindaloo curry while tucked up in bed, poppadum crumbs littered haphazardly across his mattress. He moaned in a mix of delight and annoyance when he finished the last piece of chicken and was just debating getting a spoon for the remainder of the sauce when Rimmer stuck his head out the bottom bunk and looked up, complaining.
"Do you have to eat so noisily? There's people on this ship who don't need to hear you getting turned on by curry."
"Did you say something?" Lister responded, flinging himself over the side of his bunk, accidently tipping his dinner container and dropping warm vindaloo sauce onto the unsuspecting face of his roommate.
"Why you absolute-!"
"Don't touch it! You'll waste good curry!" Lister shouted, jumping down from his bunk, leaning across the bottom bed and, in a curry induced haze, licked the sauce from the hard-light hologram's face.
Rimmer went rigid. It was almost as if he had turned his circuits off and was frozen mid-expression.
Lister seemed to momentarily come to his senses when he noticed the hand not still holding the take out container was wrapped in Rimmer's hair. He pulled away slowly, smearing Rimmer's face with his curry stained, poppadum favoured hand, and of course that was all it took for Lister to lose control again and return his tongue to Rimmer's cheek once more. He flung himself over the hologram to get better access and it was at this point Rimmer woke back up.
"What the smeg do you think you are doing?!" He yelled, trying to push Lister off, the action causing the container to spill; this time trickling sauce onto Rimmer's collarbone and under his pyjama top. He shivered at the contact, warm and sticky, and tried yelling again.
"Lister! Get your fat arse off me and go eat your curry off a plate like any normal person!" He was pulling at his shirt, beginning to undo the buttons while simultaneously trying to shove Lister off him. The sooner he got to a shower the better.
But then of course, because Rimmer had no luck, Lister too began to pull at Rimmer's shirt, exposing the pale skin and vindaloo delight beneath him. He was lapping up sauce before Rimmer could say 'Gimboid', dragging the shirt clear off the front of Rimmer's torso in the process.
"Dave?"
Lister stopped at the sound of him name, so quiet, and looked up at Rimmer from his position halfway down the other man's chest. They sat for a minute, eyes locked, before Lister went to move off the bed and Rimmer unconsciously pushed up with his hips against where Lister sat on his groin – his body abandoning his brain with gusto. A smile played across the Third Technician's lips as he reached into his leftover dinner with one hand and trickled it once again on Rimmer's face.
It caught the hologram's lips which he opened in surprise; wishing almost immediately that he hadn't because the sauce was too hot for him to stand. But then there was something else warm and wet slithering into his mouth and it was like Rimmer couldn't get enough of the taste sensation exploding inside of him.
Lister sucked on Rimmer's tongue with his own, ran it filthily over the other's teeth, lapped at his lips like a starved animal and drew Rimmer into the most toe-curling, stomach-plummeting kiss either had ever experienced.
Lister sat back, somewhat reluctantly, on Rimmer's thighs and admired his handy work. Rimmer was breathing heavily through his mouth, quite unnecessarily being dead, and when Lister looked down he saw Rimmer's eyes: wide, dark and conquered.
"Smeg this," Rimmer said, grabbing the previously abandoned takeout container and dumping the rest of the contents over his chest. Throwing the foil to the floor, he cocked an eyebrow at his roommate who laughed and resumed the consummation of his dinner. And then went on to have desert.
:-:
"How would you like your breakfast curry, Mr Lister sir? In the packet or on a plate?" Kryten asked the next morning when they were all gathered together at the table in Starbug's midsection.
"Don't worry Kryten," Lister grinned, "I know exactly what to eat it off." And meeting Rimmer's eye with a wink, he saw the hologram had the decency to blush.