~*~Prologue~*~
Another day, another mistake. I thought my day couldn't have gotten any worse. Boy was I wrong! Firstly I actually confided in my friend Maria, otherwise known as blabber mouth. Anyway, I told her that I had a crush on this really hot guy Tyler! Well of course by telling her the whole school knew by the end of the day, including my dream guy, and let's just say that his feelings towards me were not mutual, not in the least. Secondly, my other best friend Alex, got beat up by some no good wrestling jocks. When will these stupid jocks learn, maybe if they opened their minds once in awhile instead of their freaking mouths. Anyway then Kyle came up with the brilliant idea to stand up for Alex and got a few punches of his own. Apparently being friends with a computer nerd doesn't have the best benefits for some people. And lastly my sister Jules has been acting really weird today. I wonder what has put her in such a gloomy mood. Well anyways to cheer her up Maria, Alex and Kyle are coming over tonight. And we have a BIG surprise for Jules! Kyle has finally gotten up enough nerve to ask her out. Yeah! He has had a crush on Julie since we were in elementary school. We finally convinced him to ask her out. Finally I mean these two belong together. They are soul mates. Well I guess I better go, I won't be a good matchmaker if I'm in here writing.
"Hey guys," I say while opening the door letting in Maria, Kyle and Alex.
"Hey Liz," Maria says walking through the door. "I brought Ice Cream, Chips, soda, and the best ingredient for a girl's night out, EMPIRE RECORDS," Maria says tabbing her fingers on the table like a drum roll.
"Excuse me," Alex says clearing his throat.
"What," Maria defends. "OH, come on you know you're one of the girls."
"Oh okay," Alex says smiling, then frowns after thinking about it. (for a minute.) You can leave the last part off.
"Where's Julie?" Kyle interrupts before Alex could speak again.
"She should be in her room," I say excitedly. "Did you get the yellow Lilies that I told you Jules likes?"
"Yep," Kyle says holding up the flowers.
"Okay, okay hurry up! We want to pig out and watch the movie," I say pushing him towards Jules door.
"Okay," Kyle says. "I can do this, I can do this."
"Kyle believe me you have nothing to worry about," I say trying to get all doubts out of his mind. "Jules likes you a lot, believe me."
"Jules," Kyle calls knocking on the door. "It's me Kyle," he says while opening the door.
"She's not in there Liz," Kyle says coming out a minute later.
"What," I say walking into Juliette's room. I look around the room, and then the balcony, I look over to the table where I find a note. I take it and go back into her room.
"Jules, Jules," I yell, starting to get nervous. I start to feel that something is wrong. It must be that twin thing.
"Jules," I yell again, while opening the door.
"Oh My God," I scream and then everything turns black around me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God I have a huge headache, what happened? Wait I remember. Jules, oh god Jules. Jules! I have to find her I have to help. Jules please. Okay wait where am I? I look around... Hospital, I must have fainted or something.
"Liz, Liz, are you awake," My mom says walking through the door. "How are you honey?"
"Fine," I say. "Where is Jules?"
"Honey she, she is in critical condition right now, I'm not really sure what happened," she pauses. "You screamed and everyone ran into Juliette's room and we found you out on the floor in front of the bathroom. And then Jules, she was just laying there, god Liz she looked so dead, I was so scared. The doctors are saying she tried to commit suicide, they can't identify the pills that she took, they were in an aspirin bottle, but they know that they were not aspirin. And she has scars on her wrists and legs, the doctors think she has been cutting herself for awhile now"
"No she wouldn't do that," I say.
"They're trying to stabilize her," she starts to cry. "They don't think she is going to make it."
"No," I scream. "Get out your lying! Get out" I scream louder.
"I'm sorry honey," She cries.
"Get out! Jules would never do that!" I scream again.
Jules wouldn't do that, she wouldn't leave me. No, no, there has to be some explanation, maybe in the paper I found out on the balcony. It has got to be here somewhere. I look around the room and spot it on the table beside my hospital bed.
Live your life to the fullest,
without a worry or a frown,
and remember all the laughter,
all through your life and mine.
At the first sign of sadness,
you'll be by my side,
and the last breath I speak,
your ears and only mine will hear.
Please don't think it's your fault,
because it was just me and myself,
I thought I could survive,
but I was sadly mistaken.
My life was short,
but too long for me,
the worries and pains,
that always held me down.
Where was I to go,
I was always to blame,
what was I supposed to see,
the real true boring me?
I thought just maybe,
If I had the perfect body,
and the fabulous hair,
I would like myself a little more.
But my insecurities that got to me,
and my worry of people not liking me,
could've been just my imagination,
or my thoughts getting the best of me.
Maybe I was the one to blame,
maybe I was the one to hate,
maybe I was the one who brought on
this long and hateful fate.
Because now that I sit down and think,
I know that the only one to blame,
is me.
I let myself get the best of me,
but if you could have heard,
all the voices in my head,
they were telling me,
beating me,
they killed my insides,
and were going for the outside,
I wish I could tell you I put up a fight,
but I couldn't.
They were telling me,
why should you live?
What should you do?
nothing,
emptiness,
I had no answer.
Maybe it was all for the best,
I mean ,
who's going to miss me?
I was just I big disappointment,
to my dad I was to stupid,
to my mom I was too ignorant,
to my sister I was too mean.
and now as I pick up the razor,
I realize it's the only way to end my pain,
so I'm sorry if I didn't put up much of a fight,
but what was the use,
my insides were gone,
and the voice were working on the outsides,
and there was nothing left for me to do,
but end the pain.
So I took the razor and did what I should have done before,
I love you so much,
but I didn't love myself enough.
So now I say goodbye to you.
Don't worry because I'm trying harder,
were ever I may go,
I'll make it work this time,
I'll make the A,
and end my pain.
So goodbye,
because even though I took my life,
I'll let you know I'm happy,
because now the voice is disappearing,
and the pain is almost gone.
I'll always love you Liz, and I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you, I just wanted to make the pain go away.
Juliette
Another day, another mistake. I thought my day couldn't have gotten any worse. Boy was I wrong! Firstly I actually confided in my friend Maria, otherwise known as blabber mouth. Anyway, I told her that I had a crush on this really hot guy Tyler! Well of course by telling her the whole school knew by the end of the day, including my dream guy, and let's just say that his feelings towards me were not mutual, not in the least. Secondly, my other best friend Alex, got beat up by some no good wrestling jocks. When will these stupid jocks learn, maybe if they opened their minds once in awhile instead of their freaking mouths. Anyway then Kyle came up with the brilliant idea to stand up for Alex and got a few punches of his own. Apparently being friends with a computer nerd doesn't have the best benefits for some people. And lastly my sister Jules has been acting really weird today. I wonder what has put her in such a gloomy mood. Well anyways to cheer her up Maria, Alex and Kyle are coming over tonight. And we have a BIG surprise for Jules! Kyle has finally gotten up enough nerve to ask her out. Yeah! He has had a crush on Julie since we were in elementary school. We finally convinced him to ask her out. Finally I mean these two belong together. They are soul mates. Well I guess I better go, I won't be a good matchmaker if I'm in here writing.
"Hey guys," I say while opening the door letting in Maria, Kyle and Alex.
"Hey Liz," Maria says walking through the door. "I brought Ice Cream, Chips, soda, and the best ingredient for a girl's night out, EMPIRE RECORDS," Maria says tabbing her fingers on the table like a drum roll.
"Excuse me," Alex says clearing his throat.
"What," Maria defends. "OH, come on you know you're one of the girls."
"Oh okay," Alex says smiling, then frowns after thinking about it. (for a minute.) You can leave the last part off.
"Where's Julie?" Kyle interrupts before Alex could speak again.
"She should be in her room," I say excitedly. "Did you get the yellow Lilies that I told you Jules likes?"
"Yep," Kyle says holding up the flowers.
"Okay, okay hurry up! We want to pig out and watch the movie," I say pushing him towards Jules door.
"Okay," Kyle says. "I can do this, I can do this."
"Kyle believe me you have nothing to worry about," I say trying to get all doubts out of his mind. "Jules likes you a lot, believe me."
"Jules," Kyle calls knocking on the door. "It's me Kyle," he says while opening the door.
"She's not in there Liz," Kyle says coming out a minute later.
"What," I say walking into Juliette's room. I look around the room, and then the balcony, I look over to the table where I find a note. I take it and go back into her room.
"Jules, Jules," I yell, starting to get nervous. I start to feel that something is wrong. It must be that twin thing.
"Jules," I yell again, while opening the door.
"Oh My God," I scream and then everything turns black around me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God I have a huge headache, what happened? Wait I remember. Jules, oh god Jules. Jules! I have to find her I have to help. Jules please. Okay wait where am I? I look around... Hospital, I must have fainted or something.
"Liz, Liz, are you awake," My mom says walking through the door. "How are you honey?"
"Fine," I say. "Where is Jules?"
"Honey she, she is in critical condition right now, I'm not really sure what happened," she pauses. "You screamed and everyone ran into Juliette's room and we found you out on the floor in front of the bathroom. And then Jules, she was just laying there, god Liz she looked so dead, I was so scared. The doctors are saying she tried to commit suicide, they can't identify the pills that she took, they were in an aspirin bottle, but they know that they were not aspirin. And she has scars on her wrists and legs, the doctors think she has been cutting herself for awhile now"
"No she wouldn't do that," I say.
"They're trying to stabilize her," she starts to cry. "They don't think she is going to make it."
"No," I scream. "Get out your lying! Get out" I scream louder.
"I'm sorry honey," She cries.
"Get out! Jules would never do that!" I scream again.
Jules wouldn't do that, she wouldn't leave me. No, no, there has to be some explanation, maybe in the paper I found out on the balcony. It has got to be here somewhere. I look around the room and spot it on the table beside my hospital bed.
Live your life to the fullest,
without a worry or a frown,
and remember all the laughter,
all through your life and mine.
At the first sign of sadness,
you'll be by my side,
and the last breath I speak,
your ears and only mine will hear.
Please don't think it's your fault,
because it was just me and myself,
I thought I could survive,
but I was sadly mistaken.
My life was short,
but too long for me,
the worries and pains,
that always held me down.
Where was I to go,
I was always to blame,
what was I supposed to see,
the real true boring me?
I thought just maybe,
If I had the perfect body,
and the fabulous hair,
I would like myself a little more.
But my insecurities that got to me,
and my worry of people not liking me,
could've been just my imagination,
or my thoughts getting the best of me.
Maybe I was the one to blame,
maybe I was the one to hate,
maybe I was the one who brought on
this long and hateful fate.
Because now that I sit down and think,
I know that the only one to blame,
is me.
I let myself get the best of me,
but if you could have heard,
all the voices in my head,
they were telling me,
beating me,
they killed my insides,
and were going for the outside,
I wish I could tell you I put up a fight,
but I couldn't.
They were telling me,
why should you live?
What should you do?
nothing,
emptiness,
I had no answer.
Maybe it was all for the best,
I mean ,
who's going to miss me?
I was just I big disappointment,
to my dad I was to stupid,
to my mom I was too ignorant,
to my sister I was too mean.
and now as I pick up the razor,
I realize it's the only way to end my pain,
so I'm sorry if I didn't put up much of a fight,
but what was the use,
my insides were gone,
and the voice were working on the outsides,
and there was nothing left for me to do,
but end the pain.
So I took the razor and did what I should have done before,
I love you so much,
but I didn't love myself enough.
So now I say goodbye to you.
Don't worry because I'm trying harder,
were ever I may go,
I'll make it work this time,
I'll make the A,
and end my pain.
So goodbye,
because even though I took my life,
I'll let you know I'm happy,
because now the voice is disappearing,
and the pain is almost gone.
I'll always love you Liz, and I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you, I just wanted to make the pain go away.
Juliette