disastra bella:
When she's young, barely even two, he thinks she's his little sister – but she's not like the boys he thinks are his little brothers. She always appears in a flurry of blue hair ribbons, fiery curls, and glitter sprinkled all over everything.
And he calls her Moon Flower because she is Lily Luna and she is wildly perfectly teetering on the edge of being a total disaster.
When he finds out she's not his sister, he's overjoyed because he thinks he might be in love with her even though he's sixteen and she's five, because she is just that enticingly imperfectly perfect. She runs around and it's still fairy wings and glitter and fire and warmth and beauty and complete wildness that just might end up being a total disaster.
But she's still Lily Luna and that makes her beautiful.
He's her confidante all through her early Hogwarts years – he alone knows how she hates being in Slytherin and how she hates how the other kids act. He alone knows that there's a soul with the spark slowly being stomped out, hidden behind tinkling laughter and fire-red curls and glittery eye shadow.
And he doesn't know if he can do anything to stop the fact that they are taking her sparkle and slamming it to the ground – and he doesn't know if he can tell anyone because he's the only one who knows that the child within her is gone.
She's lonely and she's confused and she doesn't know if she can take another minute of crazy life but she's still Lily Luna and she's still beautiful and she's still wildly perfect, at least to him.
Then the words stop, and she'd rather just go to the woods behind the house and sit on the old bench together without words. Because she teetered off the edge and now she is a complete disaster.
Her parents don't like the ripped up jeans and the too-tight tops and the thick black eyeliner that dampens the way her blue eyes shine. They don't like who her friends are and they don't like who she's becoming, but he does because she's still Lily Luna and that means he thinks she's beautiful.
By sixth year it's tiny tight dresses and high heeled boots and miniature skirts and a tattoo on her lower back that she didn't mind showing him.
And he almost can't take it, because he's twenty-seven and she's sixteen – and he's been in a relationship for years.
But Victoire isn't suspicious and she doesn't even know that there's one person that can make his hair change color without even trying.
By seventh year she doesn't tell him anything anymore and he's afraid he knows why. She's silent and terrified and he's the only one who can see the sparkle. But it doesn't bother him because she's got style and grace and forced smiles and blue bangles and a swarm of thick red curls that he loves to run his fingers through – under the excuse of comforting her.
He sometimes thinks that she's half-mad because of the scars on her arms and the sharpie drawings up and down her body and the way her eyes occasionally get their shine back when she talks of pain. But he doesn't mind that she's a total disaster because to him she's still tiny Lily Luna and that makes her a beautiful, precious disaster.
He loves how she calls him Theo sometimes and how she likes to see if she can change his hair – like they're little kids again.
She can make it turn red – just like hers, deep, fiery red – and all it takes is one of her long fingers, with its cracked glitter nail polish, resting on his cheek or his ear.
And then whole family thinks he's a bad influence because she starts to lost weight and her clothes get tighter, her hair redder, more sharpie drawings, more eyeliner.
Sometimes she cries and he holds her close because he doesn't know what else he could do. And he thinks she's beautiful despite the running mascara and the smeared glitter and the tangle of fire that is her hair.
And soon he starts responding when she tries to change his hair – she's eighteen, she's a big girl now, he thinks she can take it. If she touches his ear he'll grab her shoulders and only just stop himself from kissing every part of her he can reach.
And she starts being scared of him – even though deep inside, behind the black bits of twine tied on her ankles and the blue ribbons tied to her wrists and the peacock feather earrings, she has loved him almost longer than he's loved her.
They both have taken an unseen, unheard, unbreakable vow that Victoire must never know – even though they know such things can never be hidden.
They've been secret like this for maybe five years and Victoire must be suspicious by now but Teddy doesn't care a bit because he'd give up the world if he could have his perfect beautiful disaster, his flower, his sweet little Lily Luna, who's not so little or sweet anymore.
The rest of the world still thinks she's half-mad but he understands her labyrinth of a mind and her radical unsupported decisions and her crazy devil-may-care attitude. Such an imperfectly perfect beautiful precious disaster.
By now she's twenty and he's thirty-one and their love might almost be decent, if she wasn't the shame of the Potter family.
And he's tarnished his reputation enough along the way and he knows that marrying Victoire would save him. So he does it – turns out she doesn't suspect a thing.
And he's so heartless that he can marry her with a clear conscience even though he knows this is crushing the tiny spark hidden within sweet Lily Luna.
It lasts for a year – Lily keeps herself away from him and he keeps himself away from her and he thinks everything's perfect – until he finds her body mutilated on the train tracks near the Potter house. And he realizes that she did this on purpose – she was half-mad like they said – and of all the ways she could've done it she picked running herself into a train.
And he picks up her delicate, fairy-like body and he lets her blood stain his clothes – he never throws those clothes away after that. And he presses her to him and gives her the kiss he always held back from her.
And he takes her broken body and he dances with it, he dances by the train tracks to music no one else can hear and he talks to Lily Luna, kissing her like he should have.
He's never quite the same after that.
Sometimes he sees her, Lily Luna, his sweet, beautiful disaster – and when she appears to him, it's always in a flurrying cloud of blue hair ribbons, glitter, tinkling laughter and sparkling eye shadow – ripped up jeans and black eyeliner and tattoos; high heeled boots and blue bangles and scars and sharpie markers – cracked silver nail polish, running mascara, black twine, peacock feathers, unheard music, and train tracks.
chiaroscuro – an effect of contrasting light and shadow
Hello all of my lovely readers! What did you think of my first every TeddyxLilyLuna fic? Please review and give me feedback, I want to know what you think. Seriously, desperately, I want to know what you think.
Love always,
Lily