AN: Hello everyone! So after I finished playing Zestiria I didn't know what to do with myself, and I had so many thoughts and feelings about it. Like, how did Mikleo feel, having to spend so long without Sorey? How long had it even been before they reunited? After watching the anime I felt a little bit better, but then I heard this song that kinda made me think about it again, so I decided to write about Mikleo and the time him and Sorey spent separated. Hope you guys enjoy! :D But warning though, it is pretty sad, I think. Alsoo if you guys like this enough I might make another chapter. Please let me know what you think! :)
This ruin had a beautiful blue glow to it, water flooding ankle high in the area. It was cracking, falling apart, but it still held together after who knows how many years.
Sorey would've definitely wanted to be here. Mikleo knew that for sure. Though...he supposed Sorey would've probably wanted to be in every single ruin that ever existed.
It wasn't fair that he couldn't be here.
Mikleo wasn't sure how long it had been. Time sort of just...felt like it stopped moving. Maybe it did. For him, anyways. Life continued on for everyone else though. But it felt like his own life stopped the moment Sorey's did too.
No, Sorey wasn't gone...not forever. He'd be back. One day...
But when would that day be? In a year? In a thousand years? What if it surpassed a Seraphs lifespan? What if they never even get to see each other again?
He knew that it probably wasn't likely but...at this rate, Mikleo wasn't sure anymore. It felt like he'd never see him ever again.
He was barely aware that he had fallen onto his knees. He felt himself shaking, but he didn't even feel the tears anymore. Maybe he ran out of tears to cry by now.
He heard a scream pierce the silent ruins full of secrets around him, but he didn't register it at his own voice, too caught up in his own sorrow to really be aware of his surroundings anymore.
It was a good thing that there hadn't been any monsters here. Though he wasn't exactly sure if he'd care either way. Plus he probably would be able to deal with them anyways, despite the fact that it would be a surprise attack and he was pretty vulnerable at the moment.
Part of him just wanted to stop everything, to just lay down and not wake up until Sorey was back. He knew he couldn't though. He had to keep on.
Exploring ruins was painful. It made him think too much about his past with his best friend, and even though he did find comfort in it, it was also almost too much for him. It reminded him of the best friend he lost. Doing anything else didn't feel right though.
He felt awful for distancing himself from the others. He should spend time with everyone else too, and not let time pass him by like this. But he didn't have anything to say when he was around them. They just reminded him that he lost a part of himself. Now he was just...sort of an empty shell of the person he used to be.
Everything hurt. Nothing felt right without Sorey. He felt like he shouldn't even try to enjoy himself without Sorey. He thought he could handle it at first. He thought he'd be okay, that he could wait, no matter how long it took.
He was sick of waiting though. More then that, he wasn't sure if Sorey would come back ever again.
He felt almost alright whenever he went to 'visit' and talk to Sorey, but he wondered if he could even hear him, and then again, he remembered what he lost. It was painful, but he tried to keep pushing on for his best friend.
As time went on, stories about them and their adventures had been made. People knew about them and what they had all done. And he was sure soon enough, Seraphs and humans would live side by side again. The world was slowly getting better. He knew he was supposed to be proud of that, but the colors of the world seemed to have faded to grey long ago.
It was selfish that he wanted the one person who was purifying the world to be next to him instead. He knew how bad that was, and he felt awful for thinking those thoughts. He tried to push back all that pain...but it just didn't feel fair...for him or Sorey. Sorey shouldn't had have to deal with this burden, Shepherd or not. Which was another thing, he shouldn't have had to be a Shepherd either! He didn't deserve any of that. And Mikleo...he didn't deserve to have to lose his friend...they didn't deserve to be separated like that.
Why did they have to set aside their wishes and feelings for the rest of the world anyways?
No, no, those were childish and selfish thoughts...after all, they were making the world a better place for everyone, including themselves, probably. And he would enjoy it when he got Sorey back...
If, he got Sorey back.
It was that one recurring thought that crushed all his other optimistic ones in an instant, leaving him with a dull pain deep in his chest.
That was...his worst fear. To lose Sorey forever.
He mind felt fuzzy. He wasn't sure if that was from exhaustion or if his grief just ran so deep that he could no longer think properly. Maybe it was a bit of both.
He stared up at the bright white moon, unsure when he left the ruins and found himself outside on the cliff. He wasn't sure if he was on his knees staring up or on his back laying helplessly on the wet grass. He felt a tear run down the side of face, feeling numb.
He remembered how him and Sorey would stare up at the at the moon together late at night in Elysia. Even after they left Elysia though, they would usually always stare up at the night sky together, in comfortable silence until they fell asleep. Words weren't needed for them. They usually understood how the other felt, what they were thinking.
It was a bond Mikleo would never have with anyone, and he didn't want another one with another like that anyways. He didn't want to replace Sorey. No, he just wanted him back. But...
A silent sob racked through his body as he clutched and pulled at the grass underneath him, wishing Sorey would just appear next to him. He didn't though. And that thought...that realization that he may never see Sorey's face again hurt him so badly, like he had just lost him in that moment all over again.
He screamed, hoping to just pour out all that pain and sorrow, hoping that it'd all just go away.
Hoping it'd bring him back...
He screamed his throat raw.
Mikleo had woke up, exhausted, and though his vision was mostly blurry, he realized that his old friends were around him, looking pretty beaten up.
Apparently the grief and anger that had built up in him had became so powerful that he ended up becoming something that wasn't even him anymore. He never wanted that. He never wanted to become a monster.
Thankfully, his friends had manage to save him and pull him back, but still, he felt awful for letting his emotions get the better of him. For making them go through that. He apologized and they quickly told him it was fine, that they were there for them. And he knew that, but he didn't want them. Still, he was grateful for the friends he still had.
He had stayed with them for a few hours, knowing that he owed it them to at least keep an eye on him for a while.
In the morning though, he left again, barely able to look at any of them in the eyes without feeling so guilty. The guilt almost overpowered the grief he felt, and because of that, he made sure to keep a better check on his feelings, made sure to do whatever he had to do to keep those emotions pushed back. He had to keep his thoughts away from the pain.
So sometimes he allowed himself to believe Sorey was there with him, even though he knew that just made him more insane then he already was. He allowed himself to believe that Sorey would come back. In another year, it'd happen. That's what he told himself every year.
And he would probably tell himself that until the day he died, because deep down, he was pretty sure he wouldn't live to see Sorey come back, if he came back at all.
It was another day in another ruin. At this rate, he wasn't sure if he was actually interested in them anymore. But he pretended to be. He focused on the task at hand and walked across the floor and to wall with a blue crystal inside it. When he pushed it however, the ground below started to crumble beneath his feet.
Before he could even think about saving himself, he felt something tightly gripping at his arm. He dangled in the empty air for a moment, staring down at the darkness below before registering the fact that he was no longer falling, and he looked up to see someone. The person who was holding his arm. It was bright above, and he couldn't see the persons face at first since his eyes hadn't adjusted to the light at this angel, but he knew immediately by the outlines of the persons flowing hair...
He widened his eyes in shock and disbelief, letting a small gasp escape his lips.
Sorey...his Sorey, was back.
He smiled when this thought finally hit him, and he carefully raised his other arm, grabbing his best friends gloved hand with his own.
His brown haired friend pulled him back up, and Mikleo stared at him in shock, feeling so...happy. He couldn't believe this was real...
But...what if it wasn't? What if it was just another too vivid of a dream?
"Sorey..." He whispered, finally breaking the silence. Before Sorey could get a single word out though, Mikleo pulled him into a hug, tears and emotions he had kept suppressed deep inside for so long finally seeping out. "I missed you so much..."
"I know." Sorey gently told him, wrapping his arms around Mikleo in return.
And Mikleo knew, Sorey probably knew just how much he missed him. He probably did hear him all those times Mikleo had talked by the cavern, wondering if his voice could be heard or not.
Mikleo knew, Sorey probably knew about what Mikleo had became when he was gone. A hellion.
The one word "I know" told him Sorey knew just how deep his grief went, and how he did everything he could to keep himself together. Still it wasn't enough was it...? He had been weak. But...Sorey knew that. And Mikleo knew he probably wouldn't judge him for it, even though Mikleo was still personally beating himself up about it.
No more words were really needed after those two words. Not for now anyways. And Mikleo missed that.
He missed having Sorey there, who just understood him so well that he didn't need to explain himself. More then that, he missed this contact. The physical and emotional contact. He missed...everything about Sorey, and everything Sorey could give him just by being there.
He gripped at Sorey's clothing, as if to make sure that he wouldn't slip out of his grasp and turn to dust, or that he'd wake up on the ground, the hard reality slamming against him that this was just a dream and that this moment would never, ever happen.
Still...it hadn't happened yet, and for that, he was grateful. He wondered if later when he finally had himself together again, would he feel embarrassed about having a full on breakdown on his best friends shoulder like this? Sobbing and practically wailing against his best friend. With how many decades they had spent away from each other, he doubted it, and it wasn't like he was ever ashamed of Sorey seeing his tears anyways. Maybe if Edna knew though, then maybe he'd feel embarrassed.
And then he had to wonder if this was something Sorey would tell the others about, or was this one of those special things that'd just stay between them. He wondered if they would even talk about this later, or if it was a quiet understanding they would have about it.
Regardless, he knew Sorey would want him to talk about some things later. He would probably be worried enough-or maybe just curious enough to get Mikleo to talk about some of that built up pain. He probably had a lot to explain, and they had even more to catch up on.
It wasn't like he dreaded that though. No, he was content now, and whatever Sorey wanted to do or talk about, it was perfectly fine with Mikleo.
Because he finally had a part of himself back. He had Sorey back.