AN: First of all, I just wrote this between 12 am and 3 am, not sure of the exact time. Also, it was an incredibly sudden urge to write this particular idea.
Second: This is a oneshot, I have no intention of expanding on it, ever. You can, if you're suddenly inspired by it. Just so you know, I think I was inspired by seeing one of the "Naruto been hiding behind a mask" summaries and got annoyed.
Third of all, when I started rolling the thoughts over in my head, there were many things, I didn't write them down. Lots got lost in the process. It's okay. Originally, I meant to emphasize that even though Naruto does certain weird things, he does not hide behind some mask! Also, a lot of it is incredibly vague, possibly confusing. Whoops.
Number Four: Huh? I thought I only planned for three, or was it two? Meh. I wrote this on the fly man, on the fly, so its a little disorganized and awkward and I'm sure its fine enough, but I don't have the motivation to change it. This means you are all welcomed to flame me about how I should care enough to change it cuz it sucks so bad and stuff and I'll be just as motivated to care as I was to perfect this piece of work. Hey, maybe I'll laugh a little!
Five? Pushing it, eh? Well, I really like the number five so whatever. Now, enjoy as best you can, I guess.
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Naruto was called many things. Hyper active. Dumb. Surprising. Annoying. Loud. Oblivious. Blunt. Bright. Happy. Caring. Determined. Strong. Weak. Inept. Many, many things were muttered about him, murmured off the lips of people who didn't know him, couldn't know him.
Yes, perhaps he was some of those things, perhaps all of them, and perhaps none of them. Were they who he was? He didn't know. But, he knew he acted in a certain way, for a certain reason, with certain logic behind each action, each word, each anything.
He was a child and at the same time, an adult. He knew things no child knew, but acted as no adult would. He was unique in that. However, he'd give anything to rid himself of that uniqueness because he'd rather have grown up happy, with a family and friends, blending in with the crowd instead of the life he'd had that made him unique. It was life, and the only way it'd change is if he went back in time, and even then, he didn't think it'd change much.
Time travel. Naruto would always laugh at that, but not for the reasons others would. He didn't know all the dynamics and things that made it impossible, that made others scoff at the mere idea, after all, he couldn't. No, he laughed because he realized what little good it would do. So, he goes back in time, what good would it do?
Would he come back and train his younger self? Make himself uber strong and make sure he would never time travel in the first place because he was starting a different series of events, so therefore never coming back to train himself to change the events. Okay, that line of thought hurt his head and he never continued along it long.
Perhaps, then, his soul was transferred back, because maybe matter couldn't travel through time. What would that do? Possibly, in the future, he was a little stronger, a little smarter, a better ninja. But what would that do? He'd start training himself to become that ninja a little sooner, a little quicker. It wouldn't do anything though. There would be no one to train him further, no way to gather extra knowledge, extra strength. He'd be just as clumsy, just as inept as before.
No, time travel wouldn't suddenly make him some bad ass fighting machine. And, it wouldn't change his life; wouldn't change the loneliness, the longing for friends, for love, for knowledge and strength and anything everyone else took for granted. So, Naruto laughed at the idea that time travel was the solution to all his problems.
And there was no doubt the boy had tried to fix his problems himself, with no success, except to instill a view of him in other people that just became common knowledge with no question.
As a child, he craved attention. He saw children with their parents, playing, smiling, happy. He wanted that. He saw classmates laughing and running and playing with each other, and he wanted more than anything to join in, because he knew that was far more possible then having a sudden relative show up and smother him with all the parental love that could be mustered. This desire for attention was the first problem he tried to fix that just couldn't be done.
So, he'd tried joining the other children in little games. He soon found out they didn't like him, and that their parents liked him less, and they ignored him quite thoroughly. It was depressing, but he still wanted their eyes on him, their attention, and he needed a smile.
And, the first prank had been wrought. All their eyes were on him, even if only momentary, their thoughts were on him, their ire, their humor, it was partially his and the thought excite him and drove him forward. He wanted more, more!
After that, he couldn't help being loud, happy, whenever their attention was on him, because they were looking, because he'd done something funny and he knew it and he loved it. His pranks were not always in good taste, but who was he to know? No one taught him manners, no one taught him culture, no one said do this, don't do that. If they could get away with ignoring him, they did, so he did not let them, no he did not!
With their attention on him, (the people he did not know, the people who would not have looked without prompting) he became annoying, blunt, oblivious, annoying, loud, because he did not know their standards, only his, which were few. It was really him, they thought it was him, but they only saw him when they looked, and they only looked when he forced them to. Naruto refused to think about how disheartening that could be.
In this same way, the people whose eyes Naruto sought came to know of his mental inadequacy. In a way, that is saying that the boy is stupid, he isn't, he merely lacks knowledge and is therefore perceived dumb. This, too, he wanted to fix, but couldn't. He was refused knowledge, information, told only the bare minimum needed to survive so people could see him with being crippled by overwhelming guilt. It was horrible and wrong and oh so human.
But, just like it was oh so human to satiate guilt if only momentarily, it was also a human trait to show kindness. From the kind ones, from the people who paid Naruto no disservice, the ones who looked without prompting, the boy learned. He learned many things from those generous people of good nature, some useful, some necessary, and some that made for fond memories. From them, he learned to hold those precious to him close to heart, to protect them, to be kind to them, to cherish them. From them, he learned that two wrongs don't make a right and that he should not confront people with malicious intent, with revenge in my mind. It was because of those few, kind people that Konoha wasn't missing a hateful blond, blue-eyed son of a hero. They got a possible hero instead.
Still, those life lessons didn't cure him a want for knowledge. And, like most of his desires, knowledge was denied to him. His idiocy was already imprinted into the minds of the people, and that would not change. Those who could, those with the knowledge, would not pass on the secrets of their minds to him. He wasn't worth the time, the effort, and so on. This skewed impression of him was what made it so easy, unbearable easy at times, to surprise people; because they thought he was weak, inept, stupid, dumb.
And he was dumb because he was refused knowledge. He was refused knowledge because he gave the impression he was dumb. He gave the impression he was dumb because he was excited over a prank. He was excited over a prank because someone, anyone, was looking at him. He made them look at him because he craved attention. He craved attention because few gave it to him willingly. Attention wasn't often given to him because that was the hand he'd been dealt, his life.
But for all the things he was, and for all the reasons he was those things, he was no one else but him. He was who he was, no matter how happy-go-lucky they thought he was, no matter dumb, or weak, or annoying, or loud he was perceived as, he would make them realize something.
Something important.
He was Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage and hero and nothing they thought of him, or knew of him, would change that!