The fact that what had just happened was wrong wasn't what made me feel so sick. I had to be severely ill. Even if what I had just done was immorally wrong it wasn't wrong enough to make me this nauseas. I didn't have time to be sick either; I had a surgery in twenty minutes. I grabbed a Pepsi from the fridge in the Resident's lounge and dug through my locker until I found a bottle of anti-nausea medicine. I ran into Mark on my way to the OR.
"Torres, are you okay?" Mark asked. I nodded.
"Yeah, fine." I lied.
"I know you're lying. What's wrong?" He asked.
"I don't feel good." I told him and went into the scrub room to wash my hands.
"Should you be operating then?" Mark asked.
"I'm fine." I insisted.
"Does the chief know?" He asked.
"Mark, you aren't my husband, George was. Quit acting like you are." I snapped. I suddenly felt extremely nauseas. I removed my scrub cap and pushed past Mark into the hallway. I made it to the bathroom just in time. I hit my knees in front of the toilet and started throwing up. Addison found me. She got down next to me and held my hair back.
"Callie, you need to go home." Addison told me. I leaned back against the stall feeling shaky and weak.
"Not unless I'm running a fever. It's probably something I ate." I said stubbornly. Addison felt my forehead.
"No fever, let me run some tests." Addison insisted. I rolled my eyes.
"I have a surgery in twenty." I told her. She pulled out her Blackberry and sent a quick text.
"No you don't. I just cancelled it with Richard." Addison said. I groaned and slowly stood. I washed my face and hands and followed Addison to an empty room. She took some blood and ran a basic checkup while we waited on the results. I laid down on the exam table and took a nap. She woke me up when she had my results.
"What's up?" I asked sleepily. She offered me a cup of coffee.
"You should wake up first." She suggested. I glanced at her suspiciously and drank some coffee.
"Addison, you're scaring me, am I dying?" I asked after the coffee had started to work.
"No. You're pregnant." Addison told me. I stopped mid sip and swallowed slowly taking the news in.
"How far along?" I asked.
"The test doesn't show. I would have to run an ultrasound." Addison told me.
"Do you have time for one now?" I asked. Addison checked her watch.
"Yes. Callie, are you worried that it could be George's?" Addison asked. I nodded.
"He died eight weeks ago and we had sex the night before he died." I said tears welling in my eyes. Addison handed me a tissue.
"Is there a way that it could be someone else's?" She asked.
"It could be Mark's. We had sex four weeks ago, I was missing George and I was drunk and he was there." I told her feeling slightly ashamed. Addison nodded.
"Either way everything is going to be okay, how about we find out though okay?" Addison said. I nodded and laid back slowly. Addison pulled the ultrasound closer to the table and turned it on. I stared at a tile on the ceiling. What if I was carrying a piece of George? What if I had to raise a mini George? I loved George so much but I needed to move on.
"Cal, you have to lift your shirt up." Addison said snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded slowly and pulled my scrub top up. "This is going to be cold." She warned and squirted the gel onto my flat stomach. I winced, it wasn't cold, it was freezing. She moved the wand around. I glanced at screen. "Well Callie it looks like you are about eight weeks." She told me. I nodded choking back tears. "Callie it's going to be okay." She assured me.
"He's dead. He's dead and I'm carrying his child. What if it's a boy and he looks just like him?" I said crying. Addison handed me a paper towel and I cleaned off the gel. I pulled my scrub top back down and whipped my eyes.
"I promise Callie, this is an amazing gift. Now you'll always have a part of him with you." Addison comforted. I took a deep breath and nodded.
"Did you cancel all of my surgeries?" I asked.
"Just the one until I knew what was wrong." She told me. I nodded and checked my watch. I had two hours until my next surgery then.
"Do you want to grab lunch?" I asked. Addison glanced at her pager.
"Sure." She said. I stood up and Addison and I walked out of the room. Mark just happened to be walking by. He stopped. I inwardly groaned.
"Callie are you okay?" He asked.
"Actually, I need to talk to you." I told him. Addison fidgeted with her skirt.
"Callie, I'll wait for you in the Attending's lounge." Addison told me.
"Callie what's wrong?" Mark asked. I stared down.
"I'm pregnant, and it's George's." I told him. He cupped my chin in his hand and gently lifted up my chin until I was looking into his deep blue eyes. A tear slipped from my eye and cascaded down my cheek. He pulled me into a warm, gentle, but strong embrace.
"It's okay Cal. I'm here for you. You won't be alone in this." Mark assured me. I let the tears fall in waves and I kept my face buried in his chest.
"Mark, will you stay with me tonight?" I found myself asking after I had dried my eyes. He nodded.
"Of course, whatever you need." He said. I nodded.
"I have to go." I told him. He nodded.
"Okay, I'll see you tonight." He said and kissed my cheek. I met Addison in the Attending's lounge.
"I'm ready to go." I told her. She nodded.
"Olive Garden sound good?" She asked. I nodded.
Three hours later
I discarded my gloves and washed my hands. That had been an incredibly long surgery, and I was drained, thankfully I hadn't thrown up my Olive Garden yet. Mark was waiting for me outside with a Blueberry Raspberry smoothie. I smiled and took it from him.
"You are either a suck up or really sweet." I told him and walked through the hall with him. Mark grinned.
"You tell me." He smirked and walked off. Bailey raised her eyebrow at me when I stopped next to her at the Nurse's station and flipped the chart open.
"What's going on with you and Sloan?" She asked eyeing me suspiciously.
"I'm pregnant, with George's kid and he's helping me." I confessed. The more I said it the more it hurt. Bailey's curious smirk vanished.
"Oh Torres, I'm sorry." She said. I nodded and took a long sip of my smoothie.
"It's okay. I'll be okay, eventually." I assured her and myself.
"If you need anything, I'm here." Bailey said and closed the chart she had been working on. I nodded my thanks. Bailey handed the chart to the nurse and left. I finished the chart around the same time I finished my smoothie. I handed the nurse the chart and threw my smoothie into the trash can. Then I went to the nearest on call room to crash. I woke up a few hours later and instantly felt sick to my stomach. I bolted out of the bed and over to the trashcan by the door and threw up. I groaned and whipped my mouth. I wasn't looking forward to weeks of this. After I was certain I was finished I checked my phone. Mark had tried to call me. I sighed and called him back.
"Hello." Mark answered.
"Hey, you called?" I asked.
"Yeah, when are you going home?" He asked.
"Now." I told him, checking my watch and noticing it was already eight.
"Okay, go ahead. I'll be there shortly." He told me. I nodded.
"Okay." I agreed and hung up. I grabbed my belongings from my locker on the way out to my car and headed home. After fixing myself some Ramen Noodles, I curled up in front of the TV. I fell asleep before Mark even got there.