Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. Now, I know what your thinking, I'm just another crazed middle-aged woman who can hear her metaphorical biological clock ticking away at her ability to carry and give birth safely. Wrong. The clock I'm staring at is physical. It mocks me as I sit at the receptionist's desk.
My short career as a receptionist started when I realized there were no high paying jobs for Philosophy majors. Well, none where I could keep my clothes on the entire time. But of course, no one bothered to bring this to my attention until I graduated from college. My monotonous life gives me little motivation to thank my mother for pushing me out of her womb.
Without any effort on my part, my love life is even more pathetic. Or, it would be. If it existed. People no longer meet organically anymore. Instead, they sign up to online dating services in the hopes of finding their soul mate. The only problem with this notion is that girls genuinely want to find someone they can potentially spend the rest of their lives with. Whereas, males generally just want someone to take good care of the friend in their pants.
Shaking these thoughts out of my head, I took a deep breath. Tonight was going to be different. I was going out to the club with my friends. I am going to meet someone. They will be great and treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Glancing back up at the clock, I wished for time to fly by. One more hour, I promised myself.
Since I've only been out clubbing with my friends a couple of times excluding tonight, it never ceases to amaze me how long it takes to actually get into the club. But, as we reach the front of the line, I show the bouncer my ID and proudly walk into the club with my friends.
As soon as I stepped into the club, I was bombarded with house music.
"Here we go," I mumbled to myself.
"What!" My friend Ally called out.
"Here we go!" I called back.
"What?"
Shaking my head as if to say, "don't worry," I chuckled softly, earning a chuckle from Ally as she took my head and lead me through the crowd.
After a couple of minutes of dancing, I was already tired of the club and all of the people in it. With the exception of my friends. And, soon, minutes felt like hours. As I glanced outside of the circle in which my friends were dancing, I spotted someone. Male. Hollywood attractive and, for some odd reason, he seemed to be calling me over. What girl could resist that?
Instead of walking over, I shook my head and attempted to call him over to me. This was one of the few times that I have actually flirted with someone with I didn't even know and to be honest, I don't think it suited me. My feeble attempt at flirting earned a chuckle and a shake of his head.
Shrugging my shoulders, I looked back at Ally who was completely and utterly wasted. Giggling as I began to dance with her again, I soon began to realize that I was merely holding her up so she wouldn't fall on her face. I couldn't help but chuckle at that thought, "oh, Ally," I mumbled to myself.
As I looked around for my friends, it had seemed that all of them had left us. And, once again, I was taking care of the drunk girl once again. "Looks like it's just us, babe," I mumbled, even though she wouldn't have understood a single word I said anyway.
It was time to leave. Since I wasn't one of the tallest or strongest girls, I had trouble holding Ally up. Those bitches were going to pay for leaving her tomorrow morning. As we began to walk towards the exit, somehow, Ally felt lighter.
"I've got her," said an unfamiliar voice.
Looking to my left, I couldn't help but smile. It was that guy from before. "Thanks," I mumbled, as I let go of Ally slowly. Pulling out my phone, I called a cab service.
As we finally stepped out of the club, I took a deep breath. No one was sweating on me or slapping my ass anymore. Freedom, I thought to myself.
Looking over at mystery man, I smiled, "thank-you for carrying my friend."
Chuckling, he nodded, "it's fine. It looks like she could use all the help she can get."
"Yeah…" I said awkwardly, nodding.
"I'm Chris. It's nice to meet you." He said proudly after a few minutes of awkward silence.
"Hi, I'm Summer. And, the girl you're holding is named Ally." I said with a slight nod, pointing to Ally who was now dangling in his arm.
When the cab finally arrived, I sighed in relief. No more awkward small talk. As I walked towards Chris to take Ally out of his arms, he pulled away.
"What-"
"I saw you in the club, holding her. It was pathetic. Just let me help you take her home, alright?"
"Fine," I reluctantly agree before opening the cab door to let him and Ally in before getting in after them.
It wasn't until Ally was in her bed that Chris felt it was 'right' to consider leaving. A part of me didn't want him to go but how much did I really know about this guy?
"Well, I should go," he mumbled awkwardly.
Nodding, I walked him to the door. "Yeah, you should."
And, before I knew it his lips were on mine and I didn't try to stop him. Instead, I kissed him back. Unable to stop myself, I began to feel the clothes off his perfect body as he pulled me into an empty bedroom. Probably Ally's roommate's. I was too distracted by Chris to care. Soon enough, we were both down to our underwear. Our clothes randomly thrown around Ally's apartment.
This had never happened to me before. I was never the one who was picked and even though this was an odd thing to be chosen for, it still meant a lot to me. To say that the thought of Chris settling for me because Ally was passed out drunk never came to mind would be a lie. For a while, it was all I could think about. But, he was the one who held Ally in order to help me. Right?
True or not, that was the thought that kept me from pulling myself away from Chris.
That night was one of the most passionate nights I have ever had. If not, the most passionate night. Two strangers who barely knew anything about each other were able to make love in ways that I hadn't even known were possible. Passion was the thing in my life that was missing. The thing I wanted most. I lusted after it like a little child lusts over that brand new toy. And, now, after all these years it was mine.
As my eyes fluttered open, I couldn't help but smile. This smile soon faded as soon as I realized I was in bed. Alone. I slowly propped myself up on my elbows and looked around the room in the hopes of finding Chris. Nope, still alone. Holding the blanket close to my body, I got up and walked into the living room. Maybe he was having breakfast. Nope, still alone.
Now, I'm not a dumb girl. I know when I've been used for sex. I just don't understand why. For some unknown reason, last night meant so much to me and yet, it meant little or nothing to Chris. I thought he genuinely liked me. But, I guess that was my fault… Right? I was so blinded by the thought of being alone that I just craved something I didn't even want. I want a relationship. I want someone who'll wake up next to me with a smile on my face. I want someone who fucking gives a shit about me.
I want love.