A/N - A twist in the usual Rise AUs. The stories of what Castle had to have gone through during the interim months have been written exhaustively, with every possible angle. And most of them end more or less the same way, with Castle meekly following Kate back to the precinct without any real heat. No one seems to have given much thought to how rough it would have been for Alexis to watch her father wallow in misery, since she is apparently just as protective of him as he is of her. And she would not have forgiven Kate so easily.

Here we are, seven days

And seven nights of empty tries

It's ritual, habitual

But it's never gonna work this time

We're to the point of no return

And along the way the only thing we've learned

Is how to hurt each other.

Something That I Already Know

Backstreet Boys

"Josh help you with that?" Castle asked sarcastically.

Kate stared back at him. She had pictured this encounter a thousand times, in a million different ways. But of all the scenarios she had come up with, none were like this.

His eyes bored into her, awaiting her reply, but really looking like he didn't care. It was as if he didn't care about her reasons, he just wanted to hear what excuse she was going to come up with. Because, in his mind, that was all they were. Excuses. She could say anything she liked, try to justify her actions any way she wanted, it would make no difference to the end result. Or maybe he just wanted to hear her confirm what he had been dreading all summer.

She searched his eyes for some sign of familiarity. Some sign of empathy. There was none. His face, his whole being, was as closed to her as a shut door. The expression on his face was cold and remote, and for the first time in a long while, she had no idea what he was thinking.

The irony of the situation hit her. All this time he had been the one who tried to bring down the walls surrounding her heart. Now he was the one who had erected walls around himself, specifically to guard against her. And this time, she was the one who was trying to get inside, to no avail. She searched her mind for something to say, but she could come up with nothing.

"We broke up," she said finally. She turned and walked away, hurt by the contempt in his voice. Unmindful of where she was going, she walked into the park on the other side of the road and sat down on one of the swings, twisting her fingers around the chains. She figured that she should probably have stayed and faced up to everything she had been dreading for the past three months. She had thought she was prepared for this, but she wasn't.

She ran everything she was going to say to him through her mind while she waited for him to come after her. Even in her own mind, it sounded weak and stupid, but it was the best she could come up with. Words were his forte, not hers.

She waited on the swing, staring at the ground, tensing in anticipation every time she heard footsteps approach, sagging in disappointment as it turned out to be a false alarm. Seconds turned into minutes. For half an hour Kate waited for him, to no avail. Finally she dared to lift her head in order to scan the park. Nothing. He wasn't coming.

She pushed off the swing and walked back to the spot where she had left him. He wasn't there. He hadn't followed her.

He hadn't followed her.

As Kate stood, struck numb by the realization, she started to fear that maybe he didn't want to follow her around anymore. Maybe everything she had done to keep him at a distance had worked better than she had intended it to. It made little difference now. She was reaping the fruits of what she had sowed with her own hands, and it was a bitter harvest.

That was how Kate found herself standing outside Castle's loft, staring at the door. After her encounter she had contemplated following him back to the loft, but lost her nerve at the last moment. She had texted him several times, getting error messages in each case. Finally she bit the bullet and called him, only to get a pleasant automatic message explaining about certain 'restrictions' on Castle's phone which would not allow her call to go through.

In other words, Castle had blocked her number from his phone.

She spent another agonizing day working up the nerve to try again. Both Ryan and Esposito refused point blank to call Castle on her behalf. Ryan, in an uncharacteristic display of bluntness, told her that it was her mess to clean up, and that he wasn't doing her dirty work for her. Castle deserved better than that.

Taking a deep breath, Kate steeled herself and rang the doorbell. Stepping back, she waited for the door to open, pondering the ridiculousness of her situation. She had faced dangerous criminals, hardened murderers, both in gunfights and in the interrogation room. And this little talk was making her sweat more than any of the other incidences.

"I'll get it, Dad," came a muffled voice from the other side of the door, causing Kate to stiffen.

Alexis.

She had come prepared to talk to Castle. Alexis's presence threw all her preparation out the window. But before she could steel herself, the door flew open and she came face to face with Mini-Castle.

Alexis had her usual chirpy face on. One look at Kate and her eyes widened in shock, and the laugh slid off her face like condensation off a glass bottle.

"Alexis, who is it?"

"It's just Paige, Dad. Go back to your writing." Alexis called back without missing a beat. She closed the door and turned to face Kate with an uncharacteristic stony expression as she crossed her arms and stood between the door and Kate.

Shielding her father, from Kate. And denying Kate access to him.

"Hi, Alexis," Kate said awkwardly.

"What do you want?" Alexis bit out.

"Huh…what?" Kate was taken aback. Alexis had never talked to her like that.

"You wouldn't be here unless there was something you wanted," Alexis said evenly. "Well, what is it?"

Kate took a deep breath. "Can I talk to your father?"

"No."

Kate looked at her startled. "Why not?"

"Because I fucking say so," Alexis hissed aggressively. Kate took a step back. She had never heard Alexis use profanity before. She had never seen Alexis so angry before either.

"If you're mad at me for not calling, fine. I'm sorry. But I told your father…"

"It's not just that," Alexis said curtly.

"Well then, what is it?" Now Kate was starting to get annoyed herself.

"You lied," Alexis said quietly.

Kate blinked. "Excuse me?"

Alexis looked straight into Kate's eyes. "You lied to Dad when you told him that you didn't remember the shooting." Lie was a loaded word, and she used it deliberately.

Kate felt like she had been punched in the gut. Her mouth opened automatically to deny, but one look at Alexis' stone cold face and the words died in her throat. Finally she dropped her gaze, unable to look Alexis in the eye.

"How did you know?" she asked at last.

"I didn't," came the curt reply. Kate's eyes flew up to find Alexis smiling humorlessly at her. "But I'm certain now."

Caught.

Kate took a deep breath, "Alexis, it's really complicated…"

"So uncomplicate it for me."

Kate searched for the words, but they refused to come. She hadn't been able to find the words when her father questioned her about her pseudo-relationship with Castle, she hadn't been able to find the words when Lanie confronted her about her feelings, and she couldn't find the words now. So she resorted to the same tactics that she had always employed.

"Alexis, I can't have this discussion right now. I'm…I'm just not ready." That was safe, to withdraw from an uncomfortable situation, withdraw very, very far away, which would give her time to erect her walls and to prepare her defences before she could confront the cause of her discomfort.

Except Alexis was having none of that.

"Well, that's too bad," Alexis said coolly. "Because I'm not letting you see my father otherwise, and Dad just ran into an old girlfriend today, and I may just decide to play matchmaker."

Kate looked at Alexis incredulously, unable to believe what she had heard. One look at Alexis' face told her that she was very serious. If Kate walked out, Alexis would follow through with her threat with absolutely no hesitation. And it was a threat. Did Alexis have enough pull over her father to make him walk away from Kate forever? Kate didn't know. She had a feeling she didn't want to know.

"I know what you're thinking." Alexis said suddenly, almost casually. "You're wondering whether I'm actually capable of carrying out my threat. And I'll be honest, I'm not really sure. I mean he's got it pretty bad for you, but I have one tiny advantage." She leaned forward and said softly, "I've had him wrapped around my little finger fifteen years longer than you have."

"So the question you should be asking yourself," Alexis continued as she leaned back against the doorframe, "is whether you're willing to take the risk that I am bluffing. So," there was a glint in Alexis' eyes that Kate did not at all like, "you feeling lucky, Detective?"

Kate stared at Alexis in numb disbelief. She wasn't used to being pushed like this. Castle had never pushed her like this. Usually just the threat of retreating behind her walls was enough to make him back off, but that wasn't going to work on Alexis. Kate had no power over her, and Alexis had no qualms about being ruthless. She had nothing to lose if Kate walked out of her father's life, and Kate had a feeling that right now Alexis didn't care if she dropped off the face of the earth. Indeed she might even welcome it.

Kate let out a sigh. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to make a choice," Alexis said evenly. "If you want to be with my father, be with him, or else just let him go."

Kate closed her eyes and hunched her shoulders. Did she want that, to be with Castle, in a no holds barred, everything or nothing sort of way? The prospect made her shiver. Whether in ecstasy or terror, she didn't know.

"Alexis," she muttered, "I'm just not sure I can handle that right now."

Silence.

Kate opened her eyes and found Alexis staring hard at her.

"It's always about you isn't it?" Alexis said evenly. "Your life, your case, your feelings, your insecurity, you need time, you're ready, you're not ready, what you want, what you don't want, when you want it to happen, until you want it to happen, if you want it to happen. Would it kill you to put someone else before yourself for a change?" There was that humorless smile again. "It might come as a shock to you, Detective, but a partnership is supposed to be about give and take. It's not just about what you want, Dad gets a say in this too. It you're not prepared to give that," she shrugged, seemingly unconcerned, "then end the partnership. It's your life after all. If you don't think that you can give Dad what he wants from you, fine, it's your choice. No hard feelings. But then you don't get to expect anything from Dad either. If you think you can just string him along and take your own sweet time while expecting him to be there for you at every turn, you've got another think coming. He might let you. I won't."

"I've never led him on." Kate said, stung. But Alexis' words hit her like a sledgehammer. What right did she have to expect anything from Rick when she couldn't give him what he wanted?

"I'm sure Josh would be delighted to hear that," Alexis replied coolly.

The words hit Kate like a slap to the face. "Leave Josh out of this," she seethed.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" Alexis said with fake concern. "You're right. It was insensitive of me. If I care about your feelings I shouldn't mention him." Her face twisted into a mocking smile. "But hey guess what? I don't care about your feelings."

"What has Josh got to do with anything?" Kate asked, fighting to keep her voice even.

Alexis crossed her arms over her chest. "The first summer, when Dad went to the Hamptons with Gina," she said quietly, "you were with Demming at the time. Dad asked if you wanted to come, but you declined. It took you until the last minute to work up the nerve to tell Dad that you had broken up with Demming, but you were just a few seconds too late. And by the time he came back, you had found yourself another boy toy." She paused for a moment, and then continued with a note of derision in her voice, "Sure didn't take you long to find a replacement, huh?"

Kate gaped at her, "That's… how did you…" The words got lost from her throat.

"You're not the only one at the precinct that I have in my contact list," Alexis said calmly. "I have a knack for guilt tripping people into telling me what I want to know." She paused. "You know what really galls me? You expect Dad to wait for you, for however long it takes, when you couldn't even wait one summer. Scratch that, you couldn't even be bothered to make a call and tell him. You could've had him anytime you wanted. All you had to do was pick up the phone and make a call. Was even that too much for your tender and oh-so-hurt feelings?"

The silence that fell following that exchange was deafening.

"So did Dad ever mean anything to you or was he just supposed to be number three on your list?"

Kate's eyes widened. "What?"

"After the way you dumped first Demming and then Josh, forgive me if I'm skeptical."

"You've got some nerve." Kate snarled. "I dumped them both because I wanted to be with your father."

"You dumped them because you were done with them." Alexis rebutted. "You wanted to move on. How do I know that you won't get tired and want to move on from Dad?"

"Okay, so I have a few breakups in my past." Kate said with a huff. "Your father has two failed marriages."

"The first one ended because my mother cheated on him, the second one ended because my stepmother had no time for him," Alexis said, looking out the window. "You're right though. Dad does seem to have a knack for choosing women who take him for granted."

The insinuation in her voice was clear.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kate asked in a steady voice.

"What it means," Alexis said, turning back to Kate, "is that I had hoped that you would break the pattern, but it looks like the jinx is still holding strong."

Of all the verbal blows Alexis had dealt her, that one hit the hardest.

"I really thought you were good for him," Alexis said in a low voice. "I thought you were making him better. And now?" she laughed harshly, "I'd rather have the immature playboy version than the zombie version you left me with."

Zombie? Kate thought startled. Just what condition had she left him in?

"How was he after…after I left?" Kate asked, hesitatingly. She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but she couldn't not know.

"Nooooow she asks," Alexis said mockingly, "Took you long enough."

"Dammit Alexis, just tell me."

Alexis was silent for a long time. When she spoke again, her voice was a low whisper.

"It was awful. When you were hit, he…he just lost his mind. Ryan and Esposito literally had to pry him away from your stretcher so that the doctors could wheel you into surgery. He stood outside the door to the ER the entire time, whispering about how it was all his fault. We all tried to calm him down but I don't think he even heard us. For all the good it did, we might not have been there at all. The doctors wouldn't tell us how you were doing, and we had to wait until your father got here. It took forever just to get a hold of him and even longer before he got here." She stopped. "You were in surgery for over twenty hours. He stayed outside the whole time the whole time. He was the only one who stayed around the clock, other than your father. He didn't have a bite to eat, and I don't think he even got any sleep until the doctors came out and told us that you were out of danger."

Alexis paused for a moment and then continued with a touch of derision in her voice. "Your boyfriend," she almost spat out of the word, "came out halfway demanding to know what exactly happened to you. That I can understand. If I had been in his shoes I would've been upset too. Seems like he found out that you had hidden quite a bit from him and he didn't like it." She shot Kate a nasty grin. "But that doesn't give him the right to punch my father."

"He did what? Kate demanded, startled.

"You heard me," Alexis said coolly.

Kate stared at her. "So that was how he got that black eye? He got into a brawl with Rick? In a hospital?"

"You could say that, yeah." Alexis said with a shrug. "Except Dad didn't give him the black eye." She stared hard at Kate. "I did."

Kate looked at Alexis in disbelief. "You did what?"

"I don't take kindly to people who manhandle my friends or my family."

It seemed incredible that Alexis, sweet, good natured Alexis, could have that much venom in her. It had to have been one savage right hook, to have caused the kind of bruising that Kate saw on Josh's face. Kate wasn't sure if even she could have thrown a punch capable of causing that much damage.

"You know what they say about redheads and their tempers? Well, it's true," Alexis said coolly. "I've just been careful never to reveal that side of me to any of the people who matter to me."

Which obviously didn't include Kate anymore.

"What's the matter, Detective, you don't believe me?" Alexis asked, with that unnerving glint in her eyes. "I'd be more than happy to give you a firsthand demonstration if you like."

Kate had had enough.

"Listen Alexis, I had a lot on my mind okay?" she said, making an effort to keep her voice steady. "My Captain was murdered. Right after I found out that he knew who ordered my mother killed. I took a bullet in the ribs and broke up with my boyfriend. After a lengthy hospital stay. I was going through a lot, and I just didn't have the time or the inclination to play babysitter to your father."

That was when Alexis finally snapped.

A swift blur of movement was all the warning Kate had before Alexis' punch caught her under her left eye. The force of the blow caused her head to snap back and hit the wall of the stairwell, causing her to lose her balance and crash to the floor in a surprised heap.

She looked up to see Alexis standing over her, rubbing her fist. If she had looked angry before, it was nothing compared to the sheer fury now spread across her face. Kate reached up to feel the rapidly swelling skin under her eye, which served to confirm what she thought had taken place.

"You hit me," she said to Alexis in disbelief.

"I've wanted to hit you for months, you arrogant, self-centered, self-impressed bitch," Alexis snarled. "Babysitting? Babysitting? Is that what you think it is? You have any idea what condition he was in when you decided to just up and disappear?"

"Alexis..."

"The day he came back after meeting you from the hospital, it was the first time since the shooting that he wasn't looking like a wreck . For days he hung around the loft waiting for you to call. It took two weeks for disillusionment to set in, when he realized that you were never going to call, that you had left him hanging again. And I was there, for that whole hell of a week. I was there, to make feeble excuses for you, watching hope drain out of his eyes little by little, until it was gone entirely. And then he started drinking..." Alexis choked up at this point. "It took me days of persuasion and threats, to pull him completely away from drinking and to get him to have some semblance of a life. And then you showed up. Out of the blue. Without any warning. After weeks of no contact. And then you act as if vacation's over and that you'll graciously allow him to follow you around again..."

"Alexis, I didn't mean it like that," Kate protested defeated, feeling the first sting of tears against her eyes.

"You expect Dad to devote his whole attention, his whole life, to your every whim in return for whatever scraps you consent to throw at him," Alexis said, her voice finally going low and tired, as if she couldn't even work up the energy to be angry anymore. "For a long time, I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to my father. I actually looked up to you. I wanted to be just like you. And now... now when I look at you, I see everything I hope I'll never become." She stopped and heaved a deep sigh. "I wish to God that I knew what got into you."

"Maybe nothing 'got into' me," Kate said as she rose unsteadily to her feet. "Maybe you just saw the parts of me that you needed to see. And maybe now you're seeing me as I really am. I'm sorry if I let you down, but heroes don't ask to be heroes. And they don't ask to have feet of clay either."

Alexis' stony glare softened somewhat. "You still haven't told me what exactly it is that you wanted to talk to my father about."

"I wanted the files for the case I've been working on. Esposito says that your father has them," Kate replied. Strange how small and unimportant that appeared now.

Alexis turned away. "Oh yes, those. I haven't seen Dad going over them in quite a while, but they should still be in his study. I'll have them sent over to the precinct."

"You do realize that you could get into serious trouble for assaulting a police officer, right?" Kate said evenly.

Alexis actually laughed at that. A humorless, derisive laugh that didn't suit her at all.

"Empty threat, Detective," she said in a mocking voice. "You wanna press charges? Fine, go right ahead. I dare you. And while you're at it, make sure to explain to your new captain how your underlings allowed a civilian who is not officially affiliated with the N.Y.P.D to leave the precinct with confidential case material. Keeping their badges will be the least of their concerns after that."

Kate sagged against the wall. "It wasn't a threat, Alexis," she said in a low voice. "I could never threaten you."

Alexis made no reply as she turned away, her hand on the doorknob.

"Alexis…"

"Go away, Detective," Alexis voice was heavy, laced with exhaustion. "You've caused enough damage to last a while. And I'm sure you have more important things you'd rather be attending to." She paused. "I know you've had a difficult life. I know you've been through hell recently. I know that you've got a lot of things that you need to deal with. And I know that I'm going to hate myself forever for doing this to you," she said quietly. "But it's nothing compared to how much I hate you right now for everything that you've put my father through."

And with that she walked back into the loft and closed the door behind her, with a final sounding click.

Kate stood staring at the closed door for a long time, before she finally turned and walked slowly away The irony of the situation wasn't lost on her. She had spent months ignoring what lay before her, only to realize that she wanted it at the precise moment when she had most likely lost it forever. The ultimate paradox was that she had never appreciated what she could have had, until she couldn't have it anymore.

I'm looking back and wondering why

It took so long to realize

That nothing's changed, it never will

All these years of standing still

And still we stay in all this pain

And nothing's gonna make it go away

Something That I Already Know

Backstreet Boys

Like it? Hate it?

I figured I'd throw in something a little different from the usual stories.

Please let me know what you think. Should I stop here, or should I continue? I was thinking of making this into a threeshot .

Feel free to point out any flaws, however minor, along with suggestions for improvement.