Disclaimer– I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters.
AN– I'm new to the Gundam Wing fandom and decided to try my hand at writing some fanfics. I have never seen Gundam Wing so the characters will be OOC.
Warnings-- Not much. This basically is sap. Male/male, sexual situations.

.
.

You are cordially invited...wedding...Miss Lilliana Elizabeth Harlin to Quatre Raberba Winner.
Trowa stared down at the embellished white card in his hand. A wedding invitation. For Quatre. He kept reading it over but the words never changed. Trowa sighed inwardly. He really wasn't up to dealing with this now. He had just come back from a mission where he spent the last three weeks in a filthy hellhole. All he had wanted was an extra long hot shower, some decent food that he could identify and an insect free bed. Instead he came home to Quatre waiting in his bedroom with the invitation in his hand. He looked from the card to Quatre, who was sitting next to him.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked.

"Anything."

"Congratulations."

"Trowa."

"Honestly Quatre, is there really anything worth saying? This isn't a shock to us. We both came into this knowing that it wasn't meant to last."

"My head knows that but my he..."

Trowa interrupted him by shoving the card back into his hand and standing up.

"I'm dirty and filthy. I need a shower."

He didn't give Quatre a chance to comment before he was in the bathroom closing the door. Trowa didn't mean to act so cold but he had to otherwise he wouldn't get through this. He turned the shower on full force and got in and began scrubbing himself clean. Afterwards, Trowa closed his eyes and tilted his head upwards so that the water hit his face. Damn it, he thought. This wasn't supposed to hurt like this. When he and Quatre first became lovers, the first day they met, they had both agreed that they didn't want anything serious. Quatre because his father had arranged a marriage for him to the daughter of his best friend. And Trowa because he didn't want to form any attachments because he honestly didn't think he was going to survive the war. But the pain he was feeling right now told him that he had formed more than an attachment. Much more. Oh god. He felt sick. This wasn't happening.

You're a idiot Barton! It's happening. And it's been happening for a long time. You're first clue should've been when you began enjoying his company even when you weren't having sex.

Trowa sighed. Yeah, that was his first mistake. He really should have ended it the minute he realized that he actually thought of the blonde as a friend. And his second mistake was letting it continue after the war. But as Trowa thought about it, he realized that even then it was too late. He and Quatre had ended their "relationship" for a while after the war. Quatre went back to run his company and Trowa went back to the circus. And although he denied it, Trowa had missed Quatre, who later confessed to missing Trowa too. They met back up again when the Preventors were formed. One lunch invitation later, and they were back in a sexual relationship. Both saying that they didn't want anything serious, using the same excuses that they used in the beginning. It was all bullshit, Trowa suddenly thought. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the shower door opened. Knowing who it was, he didn't move. Quatre moved behind him, wrapped his arms around Trowa's waist, and pressed himself against him. Despite loving the feel of their skin touching, Trowa kept his arms at his side and stared straight ahead. He didn't know what he wanted to do. His head was telling him to push Quatre away and end all contact. But his body wanted him more now than ever. Quatre placed a few small kisses along his spine and then moved so that he as standing in front of him.

"I want to see your face." he whispered as he pushed Trowa's bang aside.

A wicked smiled crossed Quatre's face as he leaned closer. End it now, Trowa thought.

"Quatre don..."

Anything else he was going to say was cut off as Quatre's lips touched his. Trowa's first thought was that he didn't want this. But he did. He wanted Quatre. When, where and how were irrelevant as long as he had him. So just stop fighting it, he told himself. But if he gave in, it would all be over. Not deterred by Trowa's lack of involvement, Quatre planted a kiss on the side of his mouth and then slowly kissed his way to his neck. He ran his tongue lightly across his collar bone and then softly bit it. Trowa shivered. Quatre, being the devil that he was, always went for Trowa's weak spot. And Trowa, as usual, broke. Fuck it, he mumbled as he lifted Quatre's face and kissed him. Quatre inwardly screamed yes at his surrender. Not that he had been worried. For all of his quiet and cool, Trowa was very passionate when you pushed the right buttons. And I know each and everyone of those buttons, Quatre thought smugly. He didn't have much time to dwell on his victory as Trowa deepened the kiss. His very talented tongue made an appearance, quickly parting Quatre's lips to gain deeper access. Mmm, Trowa thought, Quatre's been eating strawberries. God, he loved kissing Quatre. How was he ever going to give this up?

Don't, a wicked voice purred in his head. Ask him to let you stay. Be his lover on the side.

"No!" Trowa said as he roughly pushed Quatre away.

"Trowa, what's wrong?"

"We can't do this. It's time to end it for good."

Quatre shook his head slightly. That was the last thing he wanted.

"Trowa, I love you."

Trowa stared at him but didn't say anything. This was even messier than he thought. In the time they had been together neither had ever talked about having feelings for the other, much less loving each other. Honestly, he loved Quatre too but he wasn't going to say it. That would just make things even harder. Besides, it didn't really make a difference. Trowa was certain that the blonde had an idea how he felt. He wiped any expression off of his face.

"Don't say that to me. You don't love me Quatre."

"But I..."

"And I don't love you." Trowa said interrupting. "Again, there really isn't anything else to say about it."

Quatre started to say something but didn't, instead he stared at him feeling completely numb. He honestly didn't know what to think. He was certain that Trowa loved him. But to hear him deny it in that cold voice... It made him think that maybe... Quatre shook his head slightly to clear it of what he was about to think. Bottom line was that he didn't like it. When it was apparent that Trowa wasn't going to say anything, Quatre made a move to leave. He let out a small gasp of shock when he found himself being hugged instead. Although a better description was more like his body was being melded to Trowa's. There wasn't a sliver of space between them but still Quatre moved closer. He wasn't stupid. This would be the last time they got to touch each other like this. From now on any interaction between them would be cold and impersonal in order for them to stay friends. A bitter laugh escaped his lips as he was once again shown how unfair life truly was. There was a time when Trowa would glare coldly at anyone who got within ten feet of his personal space. But now, it seemed like the words personal space didn't exist to him. After a few minutes of standing there holding each other, Trowa let go and took a step back. Quatre took it for the silent leave that it meant and left. But that didn't mean he was letting the matter drop. Despite their less than honorable start, he loved Trowa and Trowa loved him. They had been lucky to find each other and even luckier to survive the war. Quatre refused to let it go without a fight. In the back of his mind he realized that he had a fiancé to deal with. But Trowa was his first priority at the moment. Anything else he'd deal with later.

Trowa waited a few minutes and then went back into his bedroom. He pulled back the covers and crawled in. For the next few hours, Trowa laid there and stared at the ceiling. He was confused and had no idea where to go from here. He tried to sleep but too many thoughts and questions ran through his head. The most prominent was what was he going to do. After some deep thinking, he realized what he needed to do. On the top of his list was to try to bury any feelings he had for the blonde. He had promised himself that he wouldn't do that anymore but didn't have a choice. Any hope he had to be with Quatre was gone so letting his feelings linger in the open would be asking for trouble. Especially seeing as Quatre hadn't given up. No, the little blonde was somewhere regrouping. Doesn't matter, Trowa thought with a sad smile. He was going to do something that Quatre wouldn't think he would do. Leave. It was three in the morning so it was a perfect time to go. Within ten minutes Trowa had filled his duffle bag with his clothes and anything that held any importance to him. He quickly and silently left the house. Since he didn't want to make any noise, he decided to walk his bike down to the street before he started it. He was almost to the front gates when someone walked up behind him.

"Quatre's going to be upset that you didn't say goodbye."

Trowa stopped walking and turned around. He wasn't surprised that it was Heero there.

"He'll understand."

"That you don't want to stay for the wedding, not that you don't plan on coming back."

Once again he wasn't surprised that Heero already knew what he was thinking. They were best friends and ex-lovers. He knew Trowa better than anyone, sometimes even more than Quatre.

"No, he'll understand that too." he said with a sigh.

"You sure you want to do this?"

"I can't watch him get married Heero." he admitted. "He's the first thing that I've ever really wanted for myself. If I stay I won't let him go."

With a tired sigh, Trowa pushed his bang out of his face and smiled sadly.

"For a minute, when I was just with him, I thought about asking him to see me on the side."

"Have you thought that maybe he wants you to ask? Or to ask him not to marry her at all?"

"Yes."

He was certain that if he asked, Quatre would agree to be lovers on the side or not marry Lilliana at all. But how long would it be before he felt guilt for "failing" his family once again? But this one would be the worst of all because it was one of the last things his father had asked of him. Soon enough Quatre would become unhappy and guilty and in turn he'd make Trowa unhappy and guilty. And before either of them realized it, they'd end up hating each other. No, he didn't want that to happen.

"In the end it won't be worth it." he said.

"Quatre loves you."

And that was Trowa's main problem. He doubted if Quatre's love was enough. Because despite his declarations of love, Quatre hadn't broken off the engagement. And that is exactly what Trowa wanted him to do. He wanted Quatre to end it with Lilliana and be with him, exclusivesly. That particular realization hadn't set too well with him, it made him feel selfish and needy. From the beginning he knew about Quatre's fiancé and had in fact, had no problem with being the "other woman." However, that was before he acknowledged and accepted his love for Quatre. Now he no longer wanted that position. He wanted all of Quatre. All or nothing at all.

"Trowa?" Heero said breaking into his thoughts. "You spaced out. Are you sure you want to leave?"

Trowa didn't answer. Instead he smiled sadly and in an unexpected move, hugged Heero.

"Take care Heero." he said. "Tell Qua... Just tell everyone goodbye for me."

Trowa gave him a quick kiss and then took off.

Early the next morning, Quatre woke up on the sofa in his office. For a brief moment he wondered why he was there but then remembered coming in here after talking with Trowa. Quatre had wanted to give him some time alone before he went back and tried to talked to him. He had sat on the sofa after he realized that he wasn't able to concentrate enough to finish off the paper work he had to do. He smiled slightly. He may have not have gotten any work done, but he had come to a few decisions. Quatre got up and went down to the kitchen for some coffee. Heero and Duo were sitting at the table.

"Morning Duo, Heero."

They both returned his greeting as he went over to the coffee maker. As he did he noticed them look at him, then at each other and shrug their shoulders. What he didn't know was that they were wondering if he knew that Trowa had left. He looked at the coffee he was pouring and couldn't help but to think of Trowa. Quatre had always preferred tea but then Trowa came along and got him addicted to coffee. Speaking of the tall pilot...

"Where's Trowa?" he asked.

Duo and Heero looked at each other for a second before Heero answered.

"He left."

The mug in Quatre's had made a thumping sound as it hit the counter.

"Excuse me?"

"Trowa's gone."

Quatre vaguely heard Duo apologize, for what he wasn't sure, as he hurried back upstairs to Trowa's room. The door was open, which it never was, so he went inside and looked around. Trowa's things were gone. He wanted to argue that maybe he went to Cathy's or something. But all of his things were gone. The few pictures he had, his clock, his camera, his Preventors jacket and badge... Things he wouldn't take if he was coming back. Trowa really was gone. Quatre dropped down on the bed.

"Why would he leave?" he whispered to himself.

Why would he stay?

And when he couldn't come up with a good answer, he started crying. A while later, Quatre got up and went on with his day as usual. As long as he kept busy he wouldn't have to deal with the fact that he was most to blame for Trowa leaving. So over the next few weeks, Quatre worked harder and spent longer days at his office than ever before. And without Trowa there, and probably never to return, he didn't see any reason to even try to postpone his wedding to Lilliana. In fact, he decided to move the date forward. The whole time leading up to the date was a huge media spectacle. Normally Quatre stayed away from the media, but he had a reason for it this time. He wanted Trowa to see what was going on, wanted him to see his face everywhere he went. And in seeing Quatre's face would remember how he felt about the blonde and come back. But Trowa never appear. The night before the wedding, Quatre disappeared. Thinking, but not having any proof, that he went off with Trowa, Heero and Duo kept quiet about it. They knew that Quatre would be back, either to call off the wedding or go through with it. An hour before the start of the wedding, Quatre returned. He refused to answer any questions about where he had disappeared to and went to get ready. And when the time came, a heartbroken Quatre Winner wed Lilliana Harlin.

At the exact same time, Trowa boarded the first shuttle available off the planet.