Not Now

Prompt: could you write a fic about Korra attempting suicide and Mako stopping/ saving her ? ik it sounds twisted but i really want to read one like that!

— makorrian316

Summary: Mmmm… because the series ended, I can't really go where I want with this. I'm gonna try and stick to the real story, but for this prompt to work, it'll be an AU-ish fic. Mostly Korra's POV. Takes place after Katara says Korra can't bend during the season finale of season 1.

"I'm sorry Korra, I've done everything I can."

"What- what are you saying?"

Sifu Katara sighed, "I cannot restore your bending. Your connection to fire, earth, and water has been severed. You can still bend air, but the rest of the elements remained blocked in your chi flow."

"Sifu Katara… this can't be happening. It can't be, I'm the Avatar."

"I know Korra, but there is more to being the Avatar than just bending the elements."

It seems as if anything Katara said wasn't going to change the views of the Avatar. She left Korra to her thoughts and announced to everyone of her current condition.

This can't be. I'm the Avatar, I started bending those elements when I was 4! This can't be! The entire world is watching me, some counting on me to fail. I've lost… These lines were replaying in Korra's head. She needed to get out of here. She walked out of the room, only to be faced with everyone's pity. They're disappointed and feel sorry for her, it was written all over their faces. She didn't need that, not now.

"It's going to be all right Korra." Master Tenzin assured her.

"No, its not." It won't be alright. What kind of Avatar am I now? I can't bend all four elements, I'm a spiritual disappointment. I have failed. My masters, my duty to the world… everything… "

She walked passed everyone's stares, feeling them bore into her back. She needed to leave this place. She grabbed her parka and headed out.

"Korra, wait."

Urghh, not now. "Go away."

"I will, but I just want you to know, I'm here for you." There's nothing left for you to be here for.

"No, I mean go away, back to Republic City. Get on with your life."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not the Avatar anymore, you don't need to do me any favors." I'm nothing now.

"I don't care if you're the Avatar or not. Look, when Tarrlok took you, I was losing my mind at the thought of never seeing you again. I realized… I love you, Korra"

What did he just say? No, not now. "… I can't."

He can't love me. I'm not worthy of it, I'm not worthy of anything anymore. She took off on Naga, struggling to get away from the source of her pain.

Naga brought her to the cliffside as fast as she could run. This place was isolated enough for Korra to feel. Being surrounded by everyone important in her life made her feel numb. The pity, the worry, the guilt—it was all bundled in that room, about to combust if she didn't leave. Out here though, she felt free, no one was watching her.

With her new-found temporary freedom, Korra broke down. She poured out her feelings, evidenced as tears. Trying to clear her head and hold herself together, Korra got up off the snow and headed towards the edge of the cliff. The cliff was high up. Normally this would excite Korra. She loved diving off the cliffs and using her bending to soften her fall. I can't even do the simple things like that anymore… Without my bending, what kind of Avatar am I? What purpose do I really have to the world but to be a burden… There is no use for a half-baked Avatar like me…I have no place in the world anymore, at least…. Not in this body…Not in the current stage…not now. Korra's mind was dancing around the edges. Her thoughts were circulating around the idea until she pinpointed it—sacrifice. She wouldn't be dying, just getting a new…host? A new avatar that could bend all the elements, an avatar who wasn't stunted or handicapped. It wouldn't hurt, the impact of the fall would make it instant, I wouldn't even be able to register pain. I can't be an Avatar now, but I can do the world a favor by gracing it with a new one, a better one. Her mind was made up. She looked back at Naga, her best friend. "Goodbye, dear friend" she whispered. She started making her way from Naga to the edge.

Korra closed her eyes, leaving the world and entering her own. She breathed in the ice-cold afternoon breeze one last time and leaned forward. Not expecting pain, Korra's eyes jolted open when she felt sharp cuts around her arms. She saw that she was just as close to the water as she was before she jumped. She looked up to see a panicked Mako, grabbing her parka, holding on with desperation.

"Korra! Stop!"

"Let me go!"

"No! Not now, not ever!"

She began bounding against the cliff's wall, trying to free herself from Mako's grip.

With determination, Mako hauled Korra back onto the cliff with Naga's assistance. As Mako pulled her body further away from the edge, he wrapped his arms around Korra.

"Let me go Mako!" She was struggling, giving all the fight she had left in her body. Despite her efforts, Mako's arms were locked around her, refusing to budge the slightest. After a minute of wrestling on the ground, Korra gave up and began to cry.

"It's going to be okay Korra"

"No, its not. You don't understand, I'm nothing now."

"Don't say that."
"But its true! I'm fighting a losing battle with myself, with my duty, with the world."

"The world doesn't need an Avatar that can bend elements, they have regular benders for that. The world needs strong, independent leader that can bring peace to the world. And you've done just that."

Korra didn't respond, she just kept sobbing. Mako held her close, holding her as she broke down. He was keeping her together, keeping her here. After awhile, Mako spoke.

"You're not just the Avatar, you know. You're also Korra. A hot-headed, stubborn girl who drives me crazy, but a girl who I couldn't imagine my life without. I've told you before, you're the bravest, most loyal, and selfless person I know, you're everything to me."

She was touched by Mako's words. Her sobs calmed as he continued.

"Watching you disappear over the edge, it was like my world was ending. Before I knew it, my hand was grabbing your parka. I have no idea how I managed to catch you, but I'm grateful that I did, and that you're still here. Korra, you must know, for you, I'd do anything, except let you leave this world."

Mako's grip on Korra relaxed, but he still kept his arms wrapped around her. The two lay on the snow, only meters away from the cliff's edge. As the sun vanished over the horizon, Korra finally spoke.

"Thank you Mako"

He sighed, "you're welcome."

"Not just for saving me from myself, but…for making me feel like I'm worthy as a person, not as the Avatar."

"Anything for you Korra, just please, don't do that again, don't leave me."

"I won't, I've come to a realization myself."

"And what's that."

Korra turned into Mako and whispered into his ear "I love you too, and I'm too selfish the be without you." She returned Mako's embrace and gave him a passionate kiss. A kiss that expressed her want, her thanks, and her love.