Addicted by Kelly Clarkson
It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me, Naya thinks to herself, as she pulls into the driveway of her home. She has taken over me; I can't go anywhere in this god damn city without it being attached to her. She is in my thoughts and in my dreams. She is the first thing I think of when i wake up, well besides "why the fuck is it so early?". And she is the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. She is everywhere. I can't fucking take this!
Naya storms into her empty house and heads straight for her liquor cabinet to drown her sorrows over her best friend. An hour later, there is a knock at the door. She bolts for the door, hoping against hope that it is her, but the look of disappointment hurts Kevin, Jenna and Amber, who came over, knowing that Naya would need someone after what happened. They swoop in and lead Naya to her couch. Amber starts to clean up the empty bottles of vodka, Jenna goes into her kitchen with the groceries they brought, and Kevin just sits with Naya for a moment.
Hey, Bee. Tell me what happened.
Kev- you know what happened. You were there. I can't even-
Ok, Hush, Nay-nay.
Naya completely breaks down in the arms of Kevin, replaying what had happened earlier that day.
They had all just gotten back from the tour. Well, it was actually 2 weeks after they all got back and Cory was hosting poker night at his home. The whole cast was there, with their respective significant others and it was the first time most of them had seen each other since they took their final bows in Dublin. The exception to that was Naya and Heather. They went to NYC with Dianna, Jenna, and Lea, spent the 4th with them before heading to AZ to see Heather's family. This was not out of the norm, but what was going on was.
After that brief peck on the lips on stage, everything changed between them. It was like doing that small romantic gesture gave them the license to finally be free to express all of the underlying, undeniable feelings that had been simmering for the past two years. If only the crowd saw the kiss that transpired between Heather and Naya as soon as they were off stage( after the Brittana kiss) they really would have broken the Internet. It was their first kiss and the whole cast witnessed it. They were all so happy that finally they acknowledged their feelings for each other.
So here they all were, back at Cory's house, for a night of drinking, gambling, and usual debauchery that ensued whenever they all got together. Naya and Heather carpooled with the other dynamic duo, Dianna and Lea, since they all lived close to each other. Naya brought her infamous guacamole, Heather made Jello shots while the other two brought along whatever vegan, organic food they knew that Cory would not have for them. They got there early, as usual, to help Frankenteen set up. It was amazing how Cory was really nothing like Finn; he was confident, intelligent, and not the ignorant person Finn was at all. Cory was so supportive of all four of them that he was the one who pulled Naya aside right before she taped "Landslide" to tell her to go for it.
"Be Santana, Nay, and sing to HeMo, not Brittany. Show her that you mean every single word." Cory's compassion overwhelmed Naya because she thought she was doing such a good job of holding it all together. Plus, she never expected this from him because while they were all friends, she was not particularly close enough to him to warrant this type of intimate conversation. He gave her a big Canadian bear hug and told her, "Go get your girl, Naya. She will be listening and it's very romantic, actually."
"Cory, how did you know?"
"Seriously, Rivera? We all know, but none of us knew how to help or what to say. You are all we talk about, especially now that Lea and Dianna have figured themselves out. We are all plotting on how to finally get you two together. You should hear the crazy shit that Chord comes up with."
Naya started to blush at that and Cory continues, "Hey, don't be embarrassed. You just can't see what we all see every time you are both in the same room. You are two magnets that just get drawn into each other. It doesn't feel right when one of you is there without the other. If you could see what we all see, then it would be obvious to you,too. I'll let you finish getting ready, Naya. If you get stressed, just look at me, I'll have some goofy Finn look on my face; that should make you laugh."
"Gee, Cory, how come we've never talked like this before."
"I guess I just felt like this was the best choice out off all the crazy shit we were thinking of doing. We are not very good matchmakers, I'm afraid. All of our previous efforts have ended in disaster."
"Hold up. What previous efforts?"
"The thingy that last day in London was Amber and Jenna's idea. The thing in Toronto was Chord's. The thing in Vegas was Kevin's. We thought that lea and Du's would work in L.A. but that was an epic fail too. So, I came up with this one on my own and I am hoping for a better result."
"Wow. And here Heather and I thought all of those situations, while odd, were spontaneous. You guys are very creative, I'll give you that. So, what does the winner get?"
"What? Nothing Naya. We all have the purest of intentions. There is no bet, I swear."
"Montheith, I know you all better than that. Tell me what it is."
"Fine. The winner gets a trip to Hawaii for a week and up put at the Turtle Bay Resort where they shot Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I've never been to Hawaii and I really want to win one of these damn bets."
"Okay, Cory, I'll make sure you win this."
"Sweet. Now, go win Heather."
Cory was her source of comfort whenever she got wrapped up in the emotion of the song and the scene. He wavered between looking like a gassy infant and as a supportive guy that Finn could be. His words actually made that scene what it turned into, Her declaration of love for the blonde dancer. Sure, it was Santana's moment first, but it was hers too. Ryan, Gwyneth, and Stevie were all impressed with the way she approached that scene. Heather could tell that she was putting more into the scene than what was required as Santana, but couldn't quite figure out what it all meant. It wasn't until "Songbird" that Heath got it.
But guys, how was I supposed to know that? I mean, Naya knew all about Taylor this whole time and now I have to choose between the two of them! I cannot do that. Not right this second.
Cory, Chord, Harry, Chris and Darren were sitting at the poker table, listening to Heather, as she tried to sort through the mess of what happened that night.
I don't even know how we got into this fight, to be honest. One minute we are dancing and the next she is screaming at me and then she just leaves. Naya's solution to anything to to get up and leave. She walked away from me and I honestly don't know why.
She goes to Cory and starts to sob.
Hey Heath. It'll be okay. Maybe Naya just needs some time and space.
Yeah, HeMo. Just stay here tonight and in the morning, you and Naya can sort through it all.
The rest of the guys saw this as there cue to leave. Lea and Dianna had already fallen asleep in the guest room.
Cory led her to his room and laid her down on his bed. He was going to sleep on the couch in the living room.
Where are you going?
To the couch. Lea and Di are in the other bedroom and I wanted to give you some privacy.
Don't be Finn. Come on, Cory. I know that you wouldn't try anything and we are friends. This is your house and your bed, for Christsakes. Now, come back here.
Well, I guess you are right. HeMo.
With that, he removed his cargo shorts and changed his t-shirt. Heather borrowed a pair of Cory's shirts and shorts and got into the bed.
See I told you that I wouldn't bite. Thanks Cory.
She gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
Aww, gee Heath. If I knew that was all it took to get a kiss from you, I would have invited you into my bed sooner.
Heather laughed heartily at she turned and kissed him full on the lips.
At first, it was just a brief kiss. Then Heather was in her head thinking of Naya and how it felt versus kissing boys, like Cory and Taylor. She deepened the kiss and started to pull him closer to her. Cory abruptly stopped her when she started to french him.
Heather-
Cory, I'm so sorry. I'm just a fucking mess. I'm so sorry, I am not like that. You know that I am not that kind of a girl. Shit. I think I should just go, Cory.
No. I don't be silly, HeMo. We can just chalk it up to the alcohol, okay? No harm, no foul.
You sure? I am just fucking one relationship after another.
Not this one, Heath, we are good.
Heather just smiled till she looked down and saw Cory's boner.
He just laughed it off, saying, "Well, I'm only human and I can't deny that you are an awesome kisser and you are smoking hot."
Well, I can help you with that if you want. Not sex but I'll give you a hand job.
Don't you think that's kinda inappropriate.
Umm, chalk it up to the alcohol? Just no kissing ok. Come on.
Before he could protest, she was giving him a hand job. And before he knew it, she was done.
There. Best thank you gift I can think off. 'Night Cory.
Good night Heather. ANd thanks for you know...
No worries, Cory.
Jenna put Naya to bed after much protest. Mercedes had to go home because she had choir early on Sunday morning. Kevin insisted that they both stay to make sure Naya gets some rest. He knew that if they left, she would either pick up another bottle of vodka or would start cutting herself again.
Kevin slept on the couch and Jenna was about to go to the spare room. She was playing on her iPhone, when she accidently hit voice record and then Naya started sleeptalking:
But Heath-you can't have us both. You need to decide who you want.
What do you mean you can't? It's really quite simple, you either want to be with Taylor or you want to be with me. Yes, I know...ok...but...sooner or later you will have to pick. I believe you. You love us both. But you are in love with me. That's the difference, love. I know that you love him and that you probably always will. But can you stand there and tell me that you are in love with him? That he is your everything? That you would be with him no matter what the cost? Because I am telling you that that is how much I love you. You can take away all of this and as long I have you in my life, i would be the happiest girl in the world. I love you, Hemo.
Naya slips back into a deep sleep, clutching the pillow pet that smelled like Heather.
Jenna knew that what she just heard was what Naya was feeling. The girl whom everyone assumed was just like Santana was actually more like Tina: quiet and shy. It was just that Naya had grown up in the industry and she knew how to turn it on for the public and how to keep her private life private. She emailed what Naya had said to Lea and Dianna along with a note to meet at Naya's house when they got up. They all needed to figure out how to help Naya and Heather get back to each other.
Jenna ended up falling asleep on Naya's loveseat.
Heather couldn't scrub her body hard enough; she felt so dirty that she couldn't let her mind acknowledge it. She stayed in the shower until she used all the hot water. She got out of the shower and put her clothes on. She left the bathroom and made her way quickly out of Cory's room and his house. She just couldn't face him. She couldn't face herself, either.
She drove straight home. She knew that the first person she would have called in this situation was Naya. She needed her best friend right now and she couldn't call her. FUCK!
Then she got a text from Jenna-
HeMo, i need to come over.
cant
pls its important
fine in 1 hr
see u then
An hour later, Jenna is at Heather's doorstep. She opens the door and lets herself in. Heather is asleep on the couch and she looks like she has been crying.
Jenna gently wakes Heather up. She doesn't know if HeMo talks in her sleep but hearing Naya's confession was enough.
Hey there
Hi Jenna
Heath, have you been crying the whole time?
Yeah. i just fucked everything up. So bad, Jenna.
Aww, come here.
I think I need the morning after pill.
WHAT?
I think that Cory and I slept together last night but I'm not 100% sure.
Jenna takes a deep breath before speaking. She doesn't want to sound judgmental because she firmly believes in a woman's right to choose. It's just that she had never been thrust in this type of situation before.
Okay Heather. Let's try to retrace your steps...
I don't...I can't even...
Heather bursts into another fresh round of tears. Jenna just pulls her into an embrace.
I need Naya. Please Jenna. I need her.
Okay HeMo. We'll figure this all out.
Thrity minutes later they are at Naya's house. Jenna texted Kevin so he went over to Naya's. Heather was reduced to a shell of her former self. They knocked on the door and Kevin answered it.
Heather walked through the doorway and rushed towards Naya. She didn't have to say anything at all. She just went up to her and collapsed in her awaiting arms. Naya just held her and they both cried. Kevin and Jenna went into the kitchen to give them some privacy.
I don't think the dinner is such a great idea Kev. At least not tonight-
Well, Lea and Di will be here soon. Cory said he can't make it and we are here already. Naya was cooking to keep her mind off of everything. Man, Heather looks really bad. They both do, but I have never seen her like this.
Jenna was not going to tell Kevin. What Heather told her was in deepest confidence and plus she knew that if they weren't in their current predicament, Naya would have been the one and only person privy to that information. Jenna just started cutting the large watermelon and Kevin took that as his cue to continue sautaing the chicken stir-fry.
im sorry nay. im so sorry. i dont know what happened
Heather is hysterical. Naya has never seen the blonde dancer in the state of disarray. She put all of her anger aside and just rocked her best friend back and forth.
HeMo, what is it?
I cant tell you.
sure you can. you can tell me anything.
i can't even say the words, naya.
just say it
i need the morning after pill. i think that cory and i-
did he rape you?
no naya. i don't really remember what happened last night.
ok- naya was trying to remain calm.
tell me, heather. it's ok.
well, you left and I was talking to all the boys. Di and Lea already took the spare room. Everyone else left and Cory insisted that i just stay over since I was too drunk to drive. He leads me to his room and he starts to leave to to go sleep on the couch when I tell him that it's ok for us to share his huge king size bed. So he give me some clothes to change into, he changes into his PJs, and we both get into the bed. I kiss him on the cheek. He was really being sweet. Then at that moment, I thought about how it felt-
How what felt?
How kissing a boy felt felt versus kissing a girl. How kissing Taylor felt versus kissing you. I had forgotten what it was like. So i just kissed him.
And-
And i instantly wanted to be kissing you, Naya. It was like I knew who I wanted, who I loved more, who I wanted to be with.
So, how do you go from that to sleeping with Cory, Heather?
Well, Cory was the one who stopped it. He told me that I didn't know what I was doing. So, we just chalked it up to drunken kissing. But I saw that he was aroused, so I said, I can help with that, but no kissing. So I gave him a hand job, and that is the last thing I remember. I swear Naya. I didn't kiss him anymore. I fell asleep.
Well, so what makes you think you had sex then? You just gave him a happy ending.
This morning, when I woke up I was naked and so was he.
Did he take advantage of you?
Naya how can I not remember anything? I have only slept with Taylor and you. How can I not remember this?
Baby, we will figure this out.
Naya, i am so sorry.
I know you are, Heather.
Does this mean-
It means that we need to take care of you first. Does Jenna know?
Yes.
Okay. well, we need to go to the pharmacy and get the medicine. It's over the counter. I'll go get it if you stay here with Kevin and Jenna. Just go in the kitchen and act cool.
Naya-
Heather, it'll be okay. I love you.
Two hours later, Chord finally arrives so that they can start the 1st course.
The whole gang is there except for Cory, whose absence is noticed.
Yo, where is Frankenteen at? He never misses these, especially if Naya is hosting.
Heather looks visibly shaken at the mention of his name. No one notices, except for Naya, who comes to her and takes her hand.
Ohhh, he said that he promised his cousin that he would hang out and since we are going to start work next week, he didn't know when he would get to see him.
These dinners had become a ritual from Day 1. They would attempt to get together every other month, rotating who would host, but soon, the get- togethers usually took place at Corys, Lea & Di, or Heather, just because they were the biggest places and the cast seemed to get bigger and bigger with each episode. Naya was one of the better chefs so everyone brought their appetites, pictures and videos from the tour, and a bottles of wine.
Naya, you seriously could have a show on the Food Network.
Yeah, Nay, this is so delicious.
They had to put three tables together in fit the large cast: HeMo, Nay, Lea, Di, Amber, jenna, Kev, Chris, Darren, Harry, mark, and Chord.
It was always family style potluck with the person hosting responsible for the main course. Naya made chicken stir-fry with mixed veggies, beef with broccoli, brown rice, and vegetarian tofu eggrolls.
After 30 minutes, the boys were clearing the table as the girls got the videos and pictures out.
Naya pulled Heather into the den and checks-in on her.
Baby, how are you feeling?
Im ok, im cramping right now, but you said that was normal, right?
Yea, hon. It should kinda feel like your menstrual cramps X10. You should feel better by the morning.
Naya. I'm so sorry.
Hush, Heath. I told you that I forgive you already. You don't even know if you slept with him but it is better to be safe than sorry. So, please, stop feeling so guilty. I love you baby girl. Just remember that…
Heather looked like she was going to cry again when Naya just kissed her softly to try and distract her.
Heather kissed her back and it worked.
Jenna came up behind Naya; she knew that HeMo took the pill and she was so worried about her.
I'm okay, Jenna. Thanks for everything.
You have my word. No one will know of this.
Thanks for your discretion.
Hey Nay-nay, you have to see this one-Heather almost clocks you in the head with that back flip thingy she does with Harry.
Shit, Heath-too close.
They all go into the TV room to watch the videos for the tour.
Cory was home, in his living room, guzzling a beer, sitting at his drum set. Playing always helped him get through the difficult times in his life. Right now, he couldn't even find solace in that.
Holy shit. I slept with Heather. We had sex. She has Taylor and Naya. I was supposed to be the good guy; I mean YES, she did give me a happy ending, but that was just that. How could this have happened?
Cory was trying hard to remember the events of last night when he had a flash:
It was in the middle of the night and Cory heard Heather cryng in her sleep. He just acts and he takes her in his arms. He does not have any ulterior motive; he just wants to comfort her. She starts to talk-
But Taylor, can't you see. We have been done for a long time. We have to stop pretending that we are okay because we are not .We can't go back to way things were and we can't act like we know there is not something wrong. Why do I have to be the one to do this? Fuck, Tay, I'm not in love with you anymore. I can't change how I feel. I'm sorry-
Hey, Heath, wake up, you are having a bad dream-
Heather starts to punch Cory's chest and he takes her fists and holds them down, forcing her to wake up….
What the fuck? You are not Taylor. Cory?
Yea, HeMo. You were having a bad dream.
How did I-
Remember, it was Poker night at my house. You and Naya got into an argument and I insisted you stay over because you were no state to drive home.
Okay, yeah, Cor. It's coming back to me now. What time is it?
2am. Come on, let's try to get some sleep.
Heather just looks at Cory and she sees Taylor. She misses him, despite of not being in love with him. Things were comfortable between them, after being together for 5 years. They were each's first everything and they were supposed to be each other's soulmates. Until a certain Latina came along and blew that plan sky high. Heather just reacts-she was tired of all these thoughts in her head: of Naya, of Taylor, of who she was. She just wanted to be like it used to be with Taylor, after they made love those first couple of times, trying to learn what to do with each other. She closed the gap between them and started to kiss Cory in earnest, imagining that he was Taylor and that everything would be okay.
Cory is shocked and he doesn't know what to do. He knows that he should stop this. It is obvious that Heather's head is a mess and that she is probably thinking of her boyfriend or Naya; certainly NOT him. But fuck, she is too good at this and he hasn't gotten laid in so long and Heather has got a banging body…
She pushes him back down onto the bed and removes her top as she kisses his neck. Heather's hand hooks unto the elastic of his boxers and she looks up at him.
Cory, tell me if you want to stop. Otherwise, I'm going to keep going.
She is giving you an out, Monteith. Come on and take it.
Just as Cory is about to push her off, she takes his enormous hands and puts them at her breasts, cupping them, and she gently holds him in the palm of her hand.
Cory's desire to fuck Heather overtakes his good intentions to stop this mistake.
Are you sure Heather…
She does't speak. She removes the boxers he gave her to reveal a landing strip and a pussy wet with desire. She deftly moves to position herself over his erection, looking at him with reassurance, before he rolls her on her back and plunges hard and fast into her. His want takes over him as he fills her up to the hilt. He looks at her and blue eyes are wide open.
Fuck me. Harder. Faster. Cory…
He obliges, gaining speed, hitting her spot as he moves in and out of her…
He can tell that she is close as he grunts and moans
Fuck Heather…you feel so good
Then she lifts her hips all the way up, giving Cory full access to her
He keeps banging her as she moves against him, building within him a pleasure he has never known.
Right there, she pants, so close….
Cory completely withdraws from her and lets her feel the absence of his hard cock.
She reaches down and grabs him-he almost cums with that motion—before she directs back inside of her. He takes the hint as he thrusts in long, fast and hard, into her cave, filling her completely. He moves slowly, building back up the pace as Heather is gripping his shoulder
Fuck Cory. Fuck me…
And with one final push inside of her drenched pussy they both cry out in pleasure. Heather cums hard, her walls are pulsating around his member. Cory continues to fuck her as she rides out her orgasm and even climaxes again.
She flips him, sitting on top of him, and allows him to take the view.
God, you are so beautiful, Heather.
Her juice is spilling all over him as she begins to ride his penis, up and down, in and out. He knows that he won't last long with her skills. Heather moves expertly and makes him cum so hard and so fast, exploding his load deep inside of her. She cums a third time and collapses onto of him, spent.
Heather bolts up at the memory.
What is it baby?
Oh, Naya-she chokes out through sobs
Come here, honey. Are you in pain? Shhh, Heath. I am right here I am not going anywhere. I promise.
Just hold me….please, Nay. I need you.
Naya spoons Heather and begins to stroke her golden hair, whispering in her ear:
Baby doll, it will be okay. I promise you that I am right here. I am not going anywhere.
Heather couldn't stop crying as flashes of the previous night were coming at her in rapid succession. She was wracked with guilt. Naya was comforting her for cheating; for not being able to choose sides; for having doubts. She kept on crying, unsure of how her tear ducts could still produce tears.
Naya started to sing in her ear as she rocked them back and forth:
Love can be a many splendored thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool ya every time
The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all
Now I was once a fool, it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name
The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all
Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two
The trouble with love, yeah
It can tear you up inside Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
(The trouble with love is)
It's in your heart
It's in your soul (doesn't care how fast you fall)
You won't get no control
(and you can't refuse the call)
See, you got no say at all
Naya, I don't deserve you. How can you be so cool about this? If I was you, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be holding you and singing to you. I'd be fucking pissed at you. I wouldn't be telling you that I love you.
Heather, I am epically pissed at you. But, first and foremost, I am your best friend and right now, that is what you need me to be. As your lover and possibly girlfriend, I'm so fucking mad at you and Cory. As your BFF, I understand. No matter what, I still love you. Nothing would ever change that.
Heather finally fell asleep at around 4 am.
It didn't help that this morning was their first day back from hiatus and they had 6am call times. At least today was an easy day, at least by Glee standards. There was just the promotional photo shoot in the morning then a table read-through in the afternoon. Who ever had solos would be meeting with Nikki in the evening or they had choreography with Zack.
Naya couldn't go to sleep. She was in too much pain and she was so wired. She slipped out of Heather's body and went to the bathroom.
She switched on the light and took a good hard look at herself. She looked fucking awful and felt 1 trillion times worse. She knew what she wanted to do that could help.
She took the lid off the top of the toilet and grabbed her emergency bottle of Grey Goose. She cracked it open and took several healthy swigs. Heather didn't know about this stash. When Naya got really bad, Heather thought she purged Naya's home of all the alcohol and razors, but Naya knew how to hide it. After all, she had been hiding it for so long, even before Heather came into her life. She then found the other thing she craved. Naya stripped off her clothes and went into her shower, clutching the bottle to her chest. She turned on the water and crouched on the floor.
The water sprayed unto her caramel skin as she looked at the back of her forearms. Her marks were fading; it had been so long since she had done this. Ever since she got on Glee and met Heather, the urge to cut magically disappeared. But tonight, as she sang to Heather, she felt the dormant beast awaken. She was so full of rage and pain: at Heather for betraying her, at Cory for fucking her girlfriend and taking advantage of her, but most of, she was mad at herself.
Ohhhh, Rivera. You are such a fool.
She took the razor blade in her left hand and lightly slashed her inner right forearm. Seeing the razor pierce her skin brought an overwhelming sense of release in her.
How could you let your guard down? Let someone in. You can't trust anyone.
Not even the one person you thought would never let you down did because she fucked Cory.
Another cut as the blood begins to drip down her arm unto the white tub and down the drain. Her skin stings as the spray for the shower hits her forearm.
Naya knew from experience how to cut and where to cut; it felt so good. Naya polished off the bottle of vodka and finished showering. She took her empty bottle and put in back in its hiding spot and she taped the razor blade back on the inside of the lid. She looked down at her forearm, red with her fresh cuts. She cleaned them off and applied gauze. She slipped into a long-sleeve shirt and went back to her bedroom. It was 6am and she had to wake up the blonde.
She went to the edge of the bed and she took a lock of her blonde hair and placed it behind her ear. Naya kissed her neck, then on her cheek. Heather's eyes opened just as Naya kissed her full on the lips.
Baby, it's six o'clock. We have to be on set by seven.
Ok. Wow, showered already?
Yeah babe. I'm going to make us some breakfast while you are in the shower.
Naya got of the bed and left the room. Heather could hear her getting the coffee ready. Heather sat up in bed and tried to remember the last time she saw Naya wear that long-sleeve shirt. She shuddered at the thought and she prayed that Naya was just cold and NOT wearing that specific shirt for the other reason she feared…
Being back on set was like the first day of school.
Even though "the kids" (as they were called) spent a whole month together on tour and just saw each other this past weekend, there were missing Mark, Max, Lauren, and the "teachers". They were catching up on the lot by the craft service table when Ryan rounded up the troops.
Hey everyone. Here are the scripts for episode one. Table read at 1300, after lunch ok? Head over to Lot J for the photo shoot and video promos in 10 ok? Welcome back!
Telly handed Naya and Heather their scripts already highlighted with their speaking parts. Heather's was highlighted in orange and Naya's was highlighted in pink. They were heading over to their trailer to get dressed when Lea and Dianna caught up to them.
So, are you juniors or seniors?
Looks like Brittany flunked so I think she is a junior.
Naya is a senior.
Rachel and Quinn are both seniors, along with Kurt, Finn, and Noah. Looks like everyone else are juniors.
They all reached their trailers.
See ya in a few?
Yea, Di, we just have to see what Santana and Brittany are wearing.
Heather opens the door of her trailer to find it filled with flowers.
Naya-
Heather, I'd love to take credit for this romantic gesture, but it's not me.
She finds the card and the blood from her face drains.
Hey baby, just wanted to bring a smile to that gorgeous face of yours on your first day back to work. I love you, Heather. Xoxoxoxo- Taylor
Heather collapses onto the loveseat.
It's evening and Naya is in the recording studio with Amber and Jenna. Naya is getting set to record "Love takes Time" by Mariah Carey. It is the closing song on the episode. Amber is going to be singing Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" for the second episode. Jenna is there to record one of her favorite song from her favorite Broadway show, Miss Saigon for the season premiere.
Naya is scheduled to go last, so she goes and sits on one of the couches as Jenna goes to record first. She takes out the script and starts to read it once through. She grabs her "water bottle" knowing full well that it is full of vodka with a spritz of lemon juice. I don't remember it tasting this good, she thinks to herself as she skims through the script. It is not until the end, where she sees the major change and why Santana is singing that Mariah Carey song.
Heather was the first one on set the next morning. She was nervous as she entered the recording studio. This certainly was not the first time she was ever there. It was the song that she going to be singing that was causing her agita. She had no idea what she going to be singing. After the table read, Brad and the new writers decided to change the direction of Brittany and Santana's relationship. Initially, they had them getting together over the summer, with Santana taking major strides in the season premiere to be out and proud, which would lead her to be in a relationship with Brittany. Santana was even going to sing the closing number.
However, the new lesbian writer brought up the fact that Santana has already declared her love for Brittany. She reiterated Brad's sentiment that they were more interested in the Santana's process of coming out at this point while acknowledging that Santittany was the endgame. She felt that it was only fair for Brittany to return the favor and express how she felt about the fiery Latina. Naya and her agreed with her that. Even though their characters did kiss at the end of the tour, it was not out of the realm of their relationship. So, with their blessing, Brad changed the ending of the episode. It was Brittany, who was going to sing the closing number.
Ok, Heath, here is the demo. Just listen, then we can discuss it, ok?
Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
Heather was reduced to tears. It was difficult enough to have such a major script change and to top it off, having to sing Savage Garden's "I Knew I loved You" just made it 10,ooo times worse. It was because every single word was true for Brittany and for herself. How the fuck was she supposed to get through this? Of course, she recognized this song and knew all the words; that was not the difficult part. It was even in her vocal range-it was the meaning behind the song. She had to think quickly, since the demo tape was almost over.
Heather, you okay? Nikki asks.
Yeah, Nik-it's just a really emotional song. The writers hadn't filled me in on what song I was going to be singing since they just made all of these changes to the script. I knew that Brittany loved Santana, but I guess I was shocked at how much she was in love with her. This song really puts it out there.
Totally true, Heather. But we do think it's only fair that Brittany has a chance to show her side, after Santana sang "Landslide" and "Songbird" to her last season.
Why don't you take 5, compose yourself, and we can start recording when you get back?
Heather returned and nailed it in three takes.
Wow, HeMo. I'm impressed. Your vocals have really improved. The tour must have helped? Well, we got it. I think you have some downtime before they start shooting.
Thanks, Nikki. See ya next time.
Heather puts her headphones on and walk out the studio. She isn't paying attention and she runs straight into Cory, who was next to record. This was the first either one of them was alone since that night.
Hey Heather.
Hi Cory.
Ummm….
Yeah….
I have to go to the tin shed, I'm late.
We need to talk, HeMo.
Later, Cory. I have to go or Zach will kill me.
Fine. Later today, though.
Sure. Whatever.
With that, she runs in a full out sprint to the Tin Shed. She knows that no one is there yet. She catches her breath as she goes to plug in her iPod, cueing up that same song she just recorded. Per the script, Britt is not only singing but dancing this song to Santana. She already had choreographed some moves in her head while she recorded it.
By 9am, Zack was with her finishing up the piece. She missed dancing lyrical and felt that what they came up with was truly beautiful.
HeMo, I think that's perfect. God- you are so awesome.
I know.
Well, the rest of the girls should be getting here soon for their number. Let me show you the steps so you can teach it to them.
Why? Where are you and Brooke going to be?
Brooke will be here with you but I need to go and finish up the Glee Project.
No worries, Zach. Let's go-
By 9:30, Zach was gone. HeMo and Brooke were doing the first run-through of the girls number.
Whenever Heather danced, Naya had a difficult time absorbing anything else. It was not unusual for Heather to be an assistant choreographer with Brooke. As HeMo did the last booty popping move, she looked directly at her.
Ok, Lea, Di, over here. Jenna, Naya, next to me. Cue music, Brooke. And a 1-2-3…
The girls got the number down by 10:30 and were dismissed by Brooke for early lunch.
Hey, HeMo. Zach wanted you to show me your solo.
Sure, Brooke.
You have a solo?
Yeah, Naya. The writers changed the script. Brad doesn't want you see it before we tape it because they want to capture the moment. So, I'll meet up with you for lunch in 15?
Sure. See you soon.
Naya heard which song it was as she pushed through the doors. She sneaks a peek at the lithe dancer and beams brightly as the door closes behind her.
It was early Friday afternoon and most of the kids were done for the day. The only ones left to shoot scenes were the Unholy Trinity, Kurt and Blaine. That night was the red carpet premiere of the Glee! Concert movie, so the studio was hosting a party for the entire cast and crew at Tom Coleicchio's Craft.
Naya, Dianna, and Heather were waiting in their chairs for their scene. Chris and Darren were currently filming on set.
So are you guys getting ready here?
Oh no, Di. My dress is at Naya's so we are going over there to get dressed. The car service is picking us up at 1730, which should give us enough time to make it to Westwood. How bout you?
Yeah- Lea is coming to my place. Jenna is too, since she lives so close. Tonight should be awesome! Have you seen any of it yet?
Nope. I wanted to experience with everyone.
Jeez, Nay-nay, you can be such a sap sometimes.
Naya laughs as she takes a drink from her vodka filled water bottle. The alcohol had helped her get through this first week of shooting. Getting back into the swing of things plus dealing with Heather's morning after drama was too much for her to take. At least she only cut herself that one morning. The urge went dormant in her again. She takes another long drink from her bottle-almost done.
Earth to Naya! They are calling us on set. Jeez, babe you must be dehydrated. I never seen you drink as much water as you have this week. Hey can I have some?
Heath grabs bottle out of Naya's hands and is about to drink the last of the vodka, when Naya purposefully knocks it out of her hands, spilling the contents on the floor.
Oh shit. I'm so sorry, babe. I didn't mean to-
No worries, Nay. Could you hand me that towel? There, barely got any on me.
Naya breathed a sigh of relief. She knew that she was good at hiding this but that was too close of a call. She knew that she had to be smarter about the drinking before Heather or anyone else found out.
The scene they shot was reminiscent of their New Directions audition. Quinn was singing lead, flanked on either side by Santana and Brittany. The major difference was that they were not wearing Cheerios uniforms and that they did not have an ulterior motive to spy for Sue. They were singing Destiny's Child's version of Emotion in the choir room for Mr Schue's assignment for the week. The scene was going to be interspersed with them singing, Quinn pining over Finn, Santana pining over Brittany, and Brittany pining over Santana and Artie.
It took them an hour to get the scene right and afterwards they were dismissed for the day.
Cory knew that it was in his best interest to stay away from Naya. He could tell from the way she looked at him that she knew that he slept with her woman. He marveled at how she still looked at Heather with nothing but love in her eyes. The look she gave him made him understand that saying "If looks could kill."
They had successfully managed to look okay for the cast and were professional when they were in scenes together, but Cory knew that he had done irreparable damage to their friendship. He was waiting for the day that Naya was going to tear into him for what happened; there was thick cloud of tension that would hang in the air if they happened to be alone together. Cory missed both of his friends. HeMo couldn't look at him without looking like she had seen a ghost. He fucked up so bad. He did the only thing he could think of to try and figure if there was anyway to fix what he broke. He confided in the dynamic duo.
He went over to Lea and Dianna's apartment about a month after it all happened.
The cast all knew that things were a bit off between Naya, Heather, and Cory, but no one could have ever thought of why. They were all very good actors but it was subtle shift in how they all interacted with each other that was starting to get noticed.
Finny-bear, nice to see you on a glorious Sunday. What's up?
Hey Lea, Di. Umm thanks for letting me come over I hope that I am not interrupting anything.
Lea and I were just about to start cooking dinner, which you are more than welcome to stay for. Want anything to drink?
Beer?
Sure, Cory.
Dianna returned with 3 beers as they all sat on the couch.
Cory, are you okay? You have been distant. I know that we are all super tired but there is something else, isn't there?
You know me too well, Lea. Yeah, that's kinda why I am here. I need to talk to you and Di. I don't know who else to turn to. I fucked everything up so badly and I don't think there is anyway for me to fix it.
Lea got up from her seat and went over to Cory to give him a hug as Dianna just patted him on the back.
Hey, Frankenteen, I'm sure that it's not as bad as you think. Tell us and we will figure out a way to make whatever you did right.
I don't even think I can say what I did. I'm just so ashamed of myself; I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror since I did it. Stupid, so stupid. He actually starts to cry which takes both Lea and Dianna by surprise.
Cory- just say it. Whatever it is, we promise not to judge you.
He took a couple of deep breaths and then said it: I slept with Heather the night had poker night at my house.
Lea and Dianna just hugged the giant tighter and it all made sense now.
Heather was starting to notice little things about Naya and these things were scaring her. They always shared their water bottles but lately Naya kept coming up with reason not to. She would say, "I'm feeling like I'm getting a cold and I don't want to get you sick." Heather was starting to think if Naya was drinking Vodka, her drink of choice, instead of water. Naya was also wearlng a lot of clothing, especially for it being September in California; especially when they went to bed. Naya normally wore next to nothing, but lately she was wearing actual clothes to bed. While Naya was still awesomely amazing to her considering what she did and she was affectionate with her, they had not made love since the incident. Heather suspected that she was cutting again. The thought that she had driven Naya back to these horrible habits made her physically ill.
Since Heather didn't know how best to talk to Naya about her sinking suspicions, she turned to Jenna, who she had become closer to, ever since she come over the morning after.