The sun peers through cracked blinds, stirring Jane from her sleepy state. She attempts to observe her surroundings, her eyelids fluttering from the brightness of the room. Finally pupils adjust and her other senses settle in. She feels something; something quite heavy strewn across her limbs. She cranes her neck down, eyes stopping right beneath her collarbone, as the source of the weight rings into view.
Maura.
Jane almost does a double take, briefly examining the body underneath her arms. She sighs at the peaceful expression on Maura's face. Jane's muscles gradually relax and she pushes her head back against her pillow. Staring blankly at the ceiling, her thoughts begin to spin; her mind flooding with images from last night. The newness of this is still a whirlwind for her; neither of them have discussed what has been happening for weeks now, but where words are sure to fail, shear passion and instinct has most definitely prevailed. Jane blinks hard. She isn't completely sure how to grasp the shift in their relationship, but she knows one thing: she needs Maura.
A hand runs tentatively through Maura's hair, so as not to wake her. Jane laughs to herself feeling Maura begin to stir none-the-less. She rests her lips lightly atop her forehead. An arm gently grazes her middle and she peeks down once more as eyes open suddenly, looking upward. The bright hazel are greeted by a pair of warm brown conveying pure adoration, and an equally warm smile, slightly up-turned on one side, and tinged with…something else. Amusement?
"Morning," Jane rasps. Maura feels her breath on her forehead and the ghost of a kiss. She tilts her mouth up, waiting. Jane mirrors the action. Their lips smile against one another's, planting chaste morning kisses. Yet still, Maura feels her entire self awaken, and she subtly shifts until she's fully on top of the body beneath her. The breaks between the kisses lessen, the kisses themselves deepen. Jane swallows a moan. Maura pulls away abruptly trying to take it all in. She revels in the raw beauty before her and flips over until she's on Jane's other side.
"Good morning." she finally manages. Stroking wild, raven locks she pulls Jane's face toward her until their foreheads and noses touch. Maura has a singular thought in this moment: she needs Jane. The gravity of that notion sends her mind into a brief tailspin; wondering if Jane feels the same; wondering if the intensity that she's feeling could even be reciprocated. Or if, God forbid, Jane's completely freaked out about this entire thing and is either not communicating it - which sounds very plausible for Jane - or if she herself has failed to pick up on a crucial cue - which is more than fathomable for Maura.
"Is this weird for you?"
She hears herself mutter the question before she can process that it has left her lips. A mere stream of consciousness ending up inadvertently verbalized: story of her life. She doesn't even look at Jane. She just stares at her mouth, waiting…
"Wh-What do you mean?" Jane responds, with a hint of nervousness and…something else. Relief, perhaps?
"Us…" Maura presses a bit further.
Jane considers this. Considers the woman in front of her. Rather than play dumb or further delay the inevitable, she gives.
"Yeah."
Maura looks a little deflated. Defeated even.
"But," Jane swiftly continues, "not the way you think."
Maura looks back up at her. They lock eyes. It's almost too much for Jane.
"It…" Jane pauses. She looks back at the ceiling, away from Maura. She has to in order to think. She wants to word this right. Well, as right as she can, anyhow.
"It's weird how…not weird this is. Like. It just feels right.
and..maybe that's kinda weird…
I don't know. Does that make any sense?"
Jane looks at Maura through her periphery. She meets her gaze more fully when she notices Maura's calm smile.
"Yes." She responds. "That makes perfect sense, actually."
"Good." Jane chuckles tepidly, while still allowing herself to settle a bit more. Maura feeling arms lock around her with both more ease and fervor, nuzzles beneath Jane's shoulder, looping a leg around one of hers. A word comes to her mind. Content. That's what this sensation is. One she had never really known until Jane had come into her life, and one she certainly hadn't known at this capacity until now.
"What about you?"
Jane's husky whisper lulls her out of her reverie and into a new one as she begins to think of all of the ways in which Jane makes her feel. But, weird isn't really on the list. It's more like…
"Surreal."
She inhales.
"It feels surreal. Like a dream. A dream that I don't ever want to wake from. Because if I did…"
She exhales.
"…then I might lose you. Or lose this and I…"
Jane grabs her chin and pulls her into the most sincere, tender kiss she thinks she's ever experienced. She actually thinks, knowing the irrationality of it all, that her world stops momentarily. And as her eyes finally open, finding those dark and serious ones, with the most protective and loving look awaiting her, she nearly gasps as Jane all but breathes the next phrase into her:
"You could never lose me."
And Maura really hears what she's saying. Because they both know that statement couldn't have been further from the truth so many times already. They both know that Jane has nearly sacrificed her own life, many times for Maura, more times than she could count. That they've both been attacked, abducted, terrorized. That both of their lives have flashed before their eyes on more than one occasion, and yet…
"You could never lose me"
…no matter what the scenario, how high the stakes, how serious the threat or deadly the danger…they had made it. They had survived. Thrived even. Because they'd had each other. And so even if the worst possible thing, which Maura refuses to even imagine, even if that happened tomorrow, they would always have each other. Because of this thing that lay between them, right now, clearer than ever:
Love.
All of their love for each other, and its indelible print on both of their lives.
Maura can feel the tears well in her eyes. She can feel her heart drum in her chest. And she almost doesn't even trust her own voice, but she offers up the most loyal and trusting truth that she can.
"I know."
And she does. They both do.
They need each other.
And they have each other.
And they always will.
