It happened too fast, and if he was half of the reasonable and reliable man his associates believed him to be, it wouldn't have happened at all. But he was a Snicket, and his family was never good with matters of the heart. Lemony fell too deeply and took to long to move on. Kit loved wildly and had what appeared to be a curse in choosing her partners. Even their mother was said to have married their father after knowing him for only a few hours (an important secret assignment may have been involved, or maybe only a lot of alcohol), and went through a nasty divorce after the children were taken. But in his memories, Jacques could only see his beloved mother looking at his father with nothing but love in her eyes. It was the same look Lemony had the few times he talked about the girl he met during his apprenticeship, and whenever he as much as thought of Beatrice. It was the same look Kit had when she was into someone new, and that each heartbreak made her try even harder to hide. It was the same look Jacques supposed he now had when looking at Olivia Caliban.
It happened fast, and he could hear in his mind the overlapping voices of many of his associates telling himself not to let himself feel this way. It was not the time for flirting, it was not the time for feeling, it was never the time for feeling. There was too much to do and he shouldn't let himself be so involved with a new recruit. She would not be in his cab forever. She would be sent to her own missions wherever her skills were needed and he would stay in the city, where his own skills were needed.
But Olivia had the most beautiful smile, and that charming way of speaking, and she had such hope in her eyes. Hope was something he very much needed, but most of his associates had long lost it. Jacques gave her the speech that he always gave to the children he took, and her eyes shone at the possibility of doing something good, something that mattered. He had felt that way once. He still tried to feel that way.
And Olivia was intelligent, and observant, and well-read. She had the finest taste for books, really. She cared for education, and cared for children who had no one else to protect them. She was a librarian, not only in job but in heart! Could she get any better than that?
It was strange to think that a person like her existed outside of VFD. But then again, part of what made Olivia so wonderful was that she hadn't gone through the same education that Jacques and most other volunteers had. She still had the hope in her eyes, and that could make a whole difference.
She was much braver than she gave herself credit for. She negotiated with a notorious villain. She got them both out of jail. She saved his life. It was supposed to be the other way around.
It happened fast, but how else could it have happened? In this job, you never knew what the next day would bring. You never knew if you would even live enough to see it. In one moment, everything could change. It only took a moment to send a letter, to publish a report, to light a match. In a moment, a loved one could die or a friend could become an enemy.
Jacques tried to appear always confident, because he dealt with children, because he took new recruits, because he was a Snicket, because he was the oldest brother, because he felt the weight of his family and friends and the whole organization looking up to him. But he knew how dangerous times were, and he lived one day at a time. Today, he fell in love with Olivia, and he wanted to show her all the beautiful things the organization had built, all the beautiful places he got to visit in his missions, and all the interesting books he got to read in their libraries. He imagined a life together with her, much like the one the parents of the children she cared so much about had, as short as it was.
But as Jacques Snicket gave Olivia Caliban the keys to his cab, he couldn't help but feel that was the last time he would see her.