A/N: I'm trying to master my angst... hope it works out. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it all human or keep it as vampire-werewolf type, but we'll see how it turns out neh?

Warning: (I don't usually warn so this is sorta important I guess): OOC Jacob, suicidal-emo-like!Jake

Disclaimer: Jacob wouldn't be emo

Is My Love Not Enough: Almost

His hood was drawn low, hiding his face from the world. His hands were buried deep in his pockets, balled up into tight fists. It was pouring out, but he didn't care. He was soaking wet, dripping, but that didn't matter to him, he didn't care.

So what if he got sick? Pneumonia? Ha! Fine! Let him catch it and hopefully die. Yeah... that to him would be a dream come true... If I die... Nobody would care if he died. Nobody would miss him either. Good-ridden to bad rubbish!

The love of his life was marrying another. Bella was his, only his. They were best friends. That stupid song made it seem so good... Lucky I'm in love with my best friend.

BULLSHIT!

He hated Edward Cullen with a passion. Edward Cullen, who'd come out of nowhere and swept Bella off her feet... his Bella.

It should've been me!

He was shaking now. GOOD! Let me catch pneumonia or whatever! The rain kept falling and he kept walking.

Why had that stupid asshole come back? When he'd accepted that scholarship to some posh medical school, Jacob had rejoiced. Sure Bella had been a wreck from the 'long distance relationships never work' break-up, broken because her 'true love' left her, but so what? Jacob would be there. Jacob was there. Every day he was with her. Every single day! Nursing her back to health, getting to the 'almost Bella' Bella.

But then he came back, claimed he couldn't stand being away from her, using large words to sound impressive, words that Jacob could never use and be taken seriously. Bella took him back, forgot all about Jacob. Poor little Jacob.

Jacob growled as he continued to walk – to no particular destination – in the dodgy streets, hoping, praying that someone tries to mug him and kills him instead.

Yeah, he'd admit it. He was too chicken to end it all himself, so he was trying to get other ways of dying without it being entirely his fault. He'd just be that guy that was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

He didn't want to be around when the wedding finally came around, he wanted to be decomposing peacefully before he was invited to witness the, I do's.

Yeah... that's right. The asshole had come back, same day asked Bella to marry him. As expected – by all but Jacob – she'd said yes.

Nice one Bells, rip my heart out while at it too!

Jacob continued to walk way away from civilised areas. If he got mugged now, no one would hear him, or if they did they wouldn't help. Good! It's what he wanted anyway.

"You'll find someone better." Jacob growled dangerously. Damn her! Didn't she understand? He loved her. There would be no one better than her. She was the one and only. His true love, his soul mate.

No, she wasn't. She was Cullen's soul mate. They belonged together, like peanuts to butter, like salt to sea, like flames to fire, like... They belonged together...

Jacob sighed, continuing his long trek to nowhere.

Just when he was giving up hope that anyone would come for him, he felt something hard and metal connect with the back of his head. He cried out in pain, vision blurring and feeling dizzy. Even though he wanted this, it hurt no less.

"Give me your money," a voice slurred, drunk.

"No!" Jacob replied. The metal rod connected with his rib this time. Oh yeah... it cracked. Jacob smiled through the pain.

"Give us your money fucker!" Oh... there were more. Jacob could hear about four different voices all demanding he give them his money. If I had any fuckers!

"Fuck you!" Jacob spat. Someone kicked his already cracked rib. The pain surged through his body. Sweet pain, fill me!

"Give us your damn money!"

"NO!" Another kick to the ribs, this time it broke. He bit his tongue hard, he wasn't going to cry. He wanted this.

He chuckled, this was happening, it was really happening. The chuckling pissed them off. They beat him. They beat him good. His whole body felt like it was on fire. The pain was too much. I will not cry; I want this! They continued to kick and punch him, he continued to laugh, even throwing in a, 'Yes sir, I want more'!

"Crazy fucker!" one of the assaulters shouted. Jacob felt something, a blade, slice through his clothes and into his skin, someone stabbed him! Again... again... again!

It wasn't funny anymore. It hurt, it fucken hurt so bad...

The kicking stop. The punching stop. The stabbing stopped too. Jacob breathed in and out heavily. It hurt... it hurt so bad...

What was I thinking? I don't want to die... What will happen to Billy? Shit! I don't want to die... I don't want to die...

But he was going to die. He was in the middle of nowhere. No one would find him here. He was going to die... he was going to die.

He cried, no, he sobbed. He didn't want to die. Who would look after Billy? Billy, his father. Idiot! Billy needed him, he needed Billy. He had Billy. He didn't want to die!

Jacob was shaking; he was cold, wet and dying. It was his fault. He wanted this. He was getting what he wanted... but he didn't want it anymore, but it was going to happen... Karma's a bitch.

He felt a cool hand take his, another on his forehead, caressing his sweaty forehead shushing him, trying to keep him calm.

"It's okay Jacob," a voice said. It was distant but calming. "It's alright... Help is on its way... You'll be fine..." Jacob slipped away, still with the hand in his, into a calm darkness...

TBC...

So yeah... that's that then... how was my angst? Good, bad, ugh? Pweeze R&R...

*BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!*

MwahzZ

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