Raging at the bleachers
'I want you to be happy. But i have no idea how to achieve that.'
He spotted her first when he was under the bleachers. She was tall, brunette and utterly beautiful. She was standing with her blonde friend and yes the friend was striking but the brunette had a certain jenesequa that just drew her in. The blonde was approachable to flirt and what not but the brunette was something to admire. His usual cocky loud obnoxious mouth simmered when she was around.
He got the courage to her when they were at a pep rally. She was in her cheerleading uniform. She wasn't the best there is but there was this energy about her that made him and countless other look. He talked to her made his intentions clear from the start and she gave him a shot.
They dated for a while. A really long while, she made him better but there were times when she was out there conquering the world that he wondered if she was his for the keeping.
Their first fight was awful. She didn't tell anyone and neither did he but they made up .
'You ever been in vicious cycle of negativity? When you think that okay this is the end of it and it begins again?'
"Can we go somewhere and talk?" she said quietly.
He looked up. Her voice was soft and quiet but the implications of it was screaming loud. She had her poker face on. The poker face he had teased about in the past saying that he could still read her because she was an open book. Well now he couldn't read her at all. He did not at all know what was going through the beautiful mind of the girl he has been his world for so long.
"Sure" he said. He hates the fact that his voice cracked in that one syllables. Their friends were watching, wondering where this was going. But she turned away leading him to the far end of the hall. Where no one could hear but they could at least spot them. Because she wants to do it on broad daylight and not in the shadows. She will never want to be truly alone with him. Not anymore. Their relationship has been slowly deteriorating. And as he looked at her he could see her face was no longer happy and carefree. The light in her eyes were dulled out and he swallowed the lump in his throat. Because it was all his fault.
"I'm sorry," he began.
"Don't" that one word silenced him. His girl was beginning to break.
"Have you ever thought about the people we could be. Because I have. That's all I've been able to think about lately. I thought that if two people loved each other nothing else matters but here we are. I thought that it didn't matter how you loved someone, love is still love but I was wrong. Where did we go wrong?"
She asked him and he really wished he knew the answer. He could point out the moments leading up to it but he knew that him and her had been having these problems for a really long time. They were both just good at being in denial and they were both masters of sweeping everything under the rug.
"I don't have it in me to fight anymore. How do we move forward when I can't move past this. I don't know how to forgive you. I don't know if I want to anymore."
That hurt but he was so deserving of her words. He wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. He could feel the pain and heartbreak about to flood through his entire being.
"So please stay away because I need time"
"Will you tell them?" he asked. She was walking away with her damaged heart and his. She stopped in her tracks and without turning around she said in a small voice that didn't at all sound like her, "I don't know."
And he watched as she walked away. Away from him, away from their relationship, away from everything they have ever known before bumping into a man. It was her uncle he thought. And he watched as she held onto him damning whoever was watching and break. And it took everything in him not to join her. It took all his willpower to leave. To leave knowing that she crying. That her tears fell down as she shed for everything she lost; everything that he has taken from her.
'It takes so much energy and positivity. It takes a way that piece of mind and it tugs on your heart again and again.. I have no idea what to do and I don't know if they are going to get better.'
"What did you do?" The blonde demanded. There was fire and anger in her eyes. Something that he wished he could portray out so easily. But that fire had burned out in him and the anger turned into self loathing and hatred for the whole situation.
That was the question he got from his gir- her best friend. There was a time when he would be afraid of her best friend because of just how much she protected her but he wasn't anymore. There was more realistic things to be afraid off.
That didn't mean he was not afraid though. The blonde brought her army; three boys who before were his friends. Now they look at him like he is the enemy.
"She didn't tell you, what makes you think i will?" He said dismissively.
Her best friend's face had a ferocity. She looked like she was about to snarl. She was looking at him like he was the worst human being on earth, "Listen I can make your life a living hell…"
While he thought it would be pretty amusing to see someone the size of 7th grader threatened him he cut it short, "I'm pretty sure you could but your a little bit too late. My life already has been for a while. If she ever tells you, you can hit me anytime you want."
And with that he walks away and left them to think about his words. He was not surprised that she didn't tell them. His gir-, She always protected people that she cared about. And he wondered if he counted as one of them anymore. She was protecting them from the monster that he was.
' I just hope one day when everything that holds us down, pride, anger, selfishness, egos, we can be happy again. Because I will always want to choose happiness and I know somewhere inside you want that to.'
"I'm transferring schools," he said. It was out loud in front of his friends and her friends and her.
They haven't spoken in 3 weeks. And the heaviness inside of him will eat him out alive. They both needed a new start and they can't with one another around.
He felt her pause, trying to not to care. But he knew her mindset now was scattered. She was trying to find the right words.
"I think it's good of we both had distance. And before you say it i'm not. Im finding a place to start and i think with me gone you could do the same. I want you to be happy" He said.
"I want you to be happy too," she said. Those were the first words she spoke to him after so long. His heart couldn't handle it.
"You're a good person," He said. This was honesty and hopefully this was closure.
"I'm not," she began.
"You are," he insisted. He has forgotten that they were doing this in front of an audience. His main focus is on her, "I wish you nothing but the best and I hope one day you can find it in yourself to forgive me but more importantly be happy. Goodbye."
There was so many other things that he wanted to say but he didn't have time for that. So if he had to choose those were probably the last words that he wanted to say to her. And this time he was the one walking away. To a new start for both of them.
"You are a good person too," She called out to him. It made him stop, "Just so you know. So that there is no doubt in your mind. You are good."
He didn't know that those were the words that he needed to hear. But he felt as if she was giving him his heart back. It wasn't exactly the same. There were marks where she has touched but he knew that he had also left something in hers.
A/N: This was a story that I wrote a while back. It wasn't originally for GMW but i thought why not so I edited it a bit to make it more coherent to the GMW. Does that even make sense? It is up to your interpretation what this story is about. I haven't been writing a lot lately because life keeps getting in the way. I hope you enjoyed this and hopefully I get to post out more stories soon. Until then hope you guys are doing amazing.