Disclaimer thingamabob- I unfortunately do not own any of the characters from MASH even if I wished I did, except the girl whom gets introduced in the third odd chapter or something like that. I made her, I designed her, and I gave her a name. Please don't steal her.

Note~ This is my first Fan fic, please R&R for me. The chapters are really short, but there are going to be lots and lots of them. You'll also find that some of the chapters (quite later on) seem to take the same story line as some of the earlier episodes. I meant to do that, trust me.







Radar's voice came over the loud speaker, "Attention, all personnel, incoming casualties. Report to the OR at once." The days past slowly, fourteen hour shifts at the OR caused everyone distress, especially the fact that half the patients weren't allies, but enemies. Never the less, Hawkeye, Trapper, Henry Blake and Frank seemed to push on into the dead of night when only the silence aroused and reminded them of the danger that was three miles close. The jokes had stopped, the chasing of girls became less frequent and anything that was done, was done in a tired almost sluggish way. They were all sick of the war. So here they were, in preop. Washing their hands carefully and placing on the long white robes, Hawkeye and trapper had it down to two minutes and thirty six seconds for getting ready, unless they were in the middle of drinking, then they had to add on seven seconds.

"Fly me to the moon..." Hawkeye sang loudly in the operating room, "let me swing among those stars... alright, this guys ready for stitching up, hot lips, would you do the honour?"

"Firstly," Margaret began irritably as always, "It's Major Houlihan to you, secondly you singing Frank Sinatra is unnerving, and thirdly can we please have some quiet!"

"Yes mother." Hawkeye replied, smiling at her, "Clamp." The nurse handed him the instrument, "This guy must be starting a shrapnel collection, he's got enough in him to set of a metal detector." After the gruelling task of taking out 5 large clumps of shrapnel from his patient, Hawkeye tiredly looked around, the last of the patients were being stitched up, he sighed in deep relief.

"Im going out to sleep, any nurse wishing to join me must before hand make reservations." He muttered loudly.

"How terribly grown up of you." Frank muttered, "Please tells us all the details when it's over."

Hawkeye grinned playfully and walked out of the tent, slouching, trying to stay awake. The swamp seemed hundreds of feet away, and the tired surgeon barley noticed when he reached the door and walked through it.

"I do declare," Trapper said in a southwestern accent as he held up a martini glass full of gin, "You look a right tired, come sit and drink with me."

Hawkeye stared gratefully for only a moment at the glass before swooping down on the side of the cot and sticking a olive in the glass Trapper held out for him.

"Busy night at the office dear?" Trapper asked jokingly.

"We were at a meeting I swear!" Hawkeye responded with is his friend as he sipped the gin, "ah" he sighed in satisfaction, "How sweet it is." After a couple for rounds of gin Trapper forcibly took away Hawkeye's glass, "That's enough." he told his partially drunk friend, "You've got to go on duty in a few hours, get some sleep." Hawkeye only muttered something about women and dancing before his heavy eye lids fell and he drifted off into sleep.

*****