Ramen Date
by spacetart
Disclaimer: Obviously, not mine. Created by Kishimoto, copyright to Shueisha.

This was both stupid and requiring of effort, which went strongly against his philosophy of life. Damned hormones. Damn emotions. Couldn't thing be simple? He calculated pi to the 300th decimal to see if it would change his mind. When it didn't work, he got up and went off in seach of Ino.

She was practicing jutsus down near the river, just like she did every night. He noted idly that she was about two seconds off in her timing, debated telling her this, then decided not to.

"Hey, Ino."

She turned to look at him, an irritated expression on her face. "What, Shikamaru?"

"You want to go get some ramen?"

"Sure. Where's Choji? I'm sure he's hungry too."

"No, I meant...did you want to get ramen with me?"

She paused for a moment, looking thoughtful, then smiled. "Like a date? Are you asking me out on a date?" She twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

Great. Sexy Ino had arrived. Sexy Ino was fine, great even, but Shikamaru had kind of wanted to get ramen with regular old bossy Ino who made fun of him for wearing a see through shirt and shared recipes with Choji. Sexy Ino reminded him very much of Ino's mom, who was incredibly beautiful but much too fussy. Ino's dad said she was high-maintenance.

"Yeah, I guess so, " he said sourly.

"I need to get ready then."

"Now or never." Or he was going to give up. He was exhausted already.

"But I don't have any money..."

"I'll pay." He put a hand in his pocket and jingled the coins he had won from Asuma that day. "C'mon."

Ino smiled and walked over to him, then linked her arm through his. "Okay, let's go. We can go to Ichiraku."

They headed towards town, with Ino keeping up a steady pace of conversation about Choji's mom's miso soup and her Dad's new job, and had he heard about how upset Sakura's dad was about her hair. Shikamaru was certain he was going to explode into little tiny pieces. It was working. He was on a date with Ino and Sasuke was nowhere in sight.

Except that when they walked up to the ramen stand, there Sasuke was, sitting with the rest of his team and Kakashi. He probably could have planned ahead better, gotten Choji to watch out for Sasuke or something. He snuck a glance over at Ino, who had spotted Sasuke. She wasn't...no, she was. He knew she was going to do it. For a second he wondered if he could get away with killing Ino. He was pretty sure he could make it look like an accident.

"Sasuuuuuuuuuuuke!" Ino pulled her arm out from around his and leaped at Sasuke, landing on top of him, her hair spilling all over the place. That was probably violating several health codes. He made a face, then followed her, moving the awning aside.

"Ino-pig!" Sakura was yelling. Her face was flushed an unflattering shade of red.

Naruto shook his fist at Ino, who was oblivious. "We can't see!"

Were they trying to find out what their teacher looked like without his mask? Sheesh, they were stupid. Just rig up a camera to take a picture of him when he was asleep. He would have suggested it to them, but he wasn't feeling very charitable at the moment, not with Ino draped all over Sasuke like that.

"Hey," he said finally. "Hey, Ino."

KaKashi glanced over at him and he saw a flash of understanding and sympathy in the older man's exposed eye. "Let's go, you three. I'll buy dessert if you hurry up." They scampered off after Ino had reluctantly given up her hold on Sasuke. She sighed and plunked herself down on a stool. "What kind of ramen do you think I should get?"

He shrugged and sat down next to her. "I don't know how you're going to get ramen without any money."

"Eh?!" Ino whirled around and glared at him. "You said you were going to pay."

"That was before you threw yourself at Sasuke." He thumped an elbow down on the table and rested his chin on it. He didn't care if he looked ridiculous. Stupid date. He had known this was bad idea from the start.

"You're jealous..." she sing-songed, then batted her eyelashes at him. "Don't worry, Shikamaru, I'm not going to settle down with one boy just yet." When he didn't budge, she swatted him in the back of the head. "Snap out of it, stupid."

"All right, all right," he grumbled as he reached for the menu. He hid a grin. Regular Ino was back, and she was neither as tiresome or stupid as sexy Ino. This might turn out just fine.