Quad Bliss
By Archaon
All your disclaimer are belong to us! Lime warning!
- - -
The two young women regarded each other with glee etched on their faces, as the sun to their side was ready to set and vanish beneath the waves. The redheaded one moved first, sprinting forward for a very basic but quite swift attack, ignoring the sand that should be reducing her speed. The black-haired one produced a ribbon and sent its glowing tip flying, forcing the other to dodge to the side. She was caught off guard when a blue ball of chi, large as a football, erupted from the redhead's palm and nailed her at the thigh. A breath later, her opponent had reached her and they both engaged in furious melee. The black-haired one blocked a punch with her forearm and tried to land a hit with the electrified gymnastics club she wielded in her other hand. The other would give no quarters, though, touching the normally harmful weapon with a glowing palm and driving it aside while using her opposite hand to break through the other's defenses.
"BAKUSAI TENKETSU" announced the black-haired one in a shrill voice, ignoring the tiny rips on her practice leotard and poking the ground while bending to avoid a roundhouse kick. She barely saw the redhead moving as she snatched her ribbon and used it to deflect all of the ensuing pebbles and sand that went flying back to their source.
The black-haired woman was stunned for only a second, but that was everything the other would ever need. Twirling the newly acquired ribbon, she channeled hot chi through the material while using her free hand to fire a blast of cold chi straight to her opponent. The resulting horizontal mini tornado hit the black-haired woman full force, sending her flying to put a deep dent on one of the beach's boulders.
"Hey, are you okay, Ko-chan?" inquired the redhead, quite a bit concerned. The laughter that reached her ears, not as neurotic as it used to be but still unique, eased her worries.
"I'm fine, darling" replied the other after hoping back to her legs. "Really, after that grueling breaking point training I would expect you to stop holding back that much against me" she went on, sounding a bit miffed. She reached at the sea and took a handful of water, then concentrated. Some seconds later, she flung the heated water towards the other woman, marveling at the change even after having seen it so many times before.
Ranma Kuno and Kodachi Kuno engaged in a passionate kiss, holding each other dearly. After a while, they reluctantly parted, holding hands and looking at the sunset. Kodachi sniffed a bit. "I can't believe how happy I am, husband. I've never felt so free before in my life. I own you a lot. I still can't believe that you would marry me after being so much of a..."
Ranma silenced her with another kiss. "None of that, Ko-chan. We've both come a long way in the past five years." He raised a brow as he heard vicious clamoring to their left. A boy and a girl, both no older than four, were busy jumping around like chipmunks and hitting each other with fists, kicks, bokkens and coconuts. He cringed as the girl's bokken sliced through the trunk of a palm tree, bringing it down. Both of the kids casually dodged away, then resumed their spar.
"Their uncle is pulling all the stops when it comes to their training, isn't he?" he asked, raising a brow.
Kodachi sighed, although there was little sadness to be found in her voice. "After Tachi recovered from his breakdown and stopped being afraid of Hawaii, he became a new person. Learning the truth about his 'pig-tailed goddess' did more good than bad in the end."
Ranma nodded. "Anyway, I need to go away for a few days. Nothing to worry about, but in case of an emergency, you know how to contact me."
Kodachi laughed at that. "Don't worry, Ranma sweetheart. It's not like it's boring around here, anyway. Anyone close to you truly leads an interesting existence."
His eyes twinkled in mirth. "That doesn't mean you are to slack off, Ko-chan. You are the global martial arts gymnastics champion. You don't GET to slack off."
"You slave driver, you" she joked, hugging him again. "If another Kraken attacks, I'll be delighted to dispose of it. As for me being the champion, we both know you can run laps around me, darling. Why, you can always..." she tried but Ranma frowned.
"No, Ko-chan. No chance at all. I might not mind sometimes being a girl anymore, but I'm NOT going to wear a leotard in front of the whole world and that's final. You deal with the championship and I'll settle for training you."
Kodachi sighed theatrically. "It was worth the effort. Will you be leaving soon?" she asked after sobering up.
Ranma nodded. "I'll catch a bath back at the mansion and then I'll just wrap away."
His wife turned to regard him seductively. "Do you mind the company?"
Ranma grinned. "Why, of course not. I'm not in THAT much of a hurry."
- - -
The tall woman yawned mightily as she passed a hand through her rich brown hair. Still half-asleep, she entered the garden and sat at the table in the middle of the patio. The man, that was apparently busy preparing breakfast on the outdoor stove turned and graced her with a smile that caused her heart to soar. After five years of marriage one would think she would have stopped falling for his charms.
"Good morning, Ucchan. You look kinda bushed" he noted and she frowned prettily.
"After what we did last night, it's a wonder I'm even awake, sugar. Look at you, all fresh and rosy! Anyone else would have collapsed."
The man chuckled. "I was never accused of being like everyone else, love" he replied after they shared a good morning kiss.
"That's a bit of an understatement, Ranchan" she responded, savoring the food in her plate and sighing in delight. "I don't know whether it was a good or a bad things to give you cooking advice, sugar. I feel all jealous now."
Ranma Saotome hugged Ukyo Saotome from behind. "Now that's pretty unbecoming of you, dear. Think of the headlines. 'Ukyo Saotome, manager and owner of the impeccable 'Ucchan's' global chain restaurants and sixth most rich woman in Europe envies her husband's divine cooking skills'. You see, it sounds positively ridiculous."
Ukyo sighed, reveling in his presence. "You said you have to go on a trip today, didn't you?" she asked after a few seconds of companionable silence.
Ranma nodded. "I have to go, Ucchan, but I won't be away for long. Just some business I've promised to take care of."
His wife laughed. "I know how you are when it comes to promises, sugar. Don't worry, any more elephant-sized cockroaches rear their ugly heads, I'll split them in two" she added, caressing her giant spatula that lied nearby. Her face lighted in mirth. "Unless you son, little devil that he is, tries to tame it and use it for a pony like last time."
Ranma quirked a brow. "What happened to the one he DID tame after all?" he asked intrigued.
Ukyo laughed. "Can't you guess? He drove the poor thing to the ground. Even cockroaches can endure only that much activity and harassment in one day." She checked her watch, yawing again. "It's time for you to go, sugar. You wouldn't want your mystery friends to wait, would you?"
He nodded. "Say, how about we go on a training trip when I come back. You, me, the kid and a yattai, just like the old times."
Ukyo's face lit up and she kissed her husband passionately. "I'd love that, sugar. Our food empire can endure by itself for a couple of months."
She watched in fascination as he produced a backpack from thin air and wore it. He leaped in the air rising so high his wife could barely see him. Reaching the apex of his jump he pressed a button on the backpack, causing two metal flaps to open like wings. He channeled his chi through the contraption and was soon out of sight, flying at speeds commercial airplanes would never hope to reach.
- - -
"NEKO TAKABISHA!" he exclaimed, releasing an onslaught of razor-sharp chi blades towards his opponent. The old but powerful crone he was fighting tried to protect herself with a glaive eight times her size and an intricate chi shield. When both failed to contain the attack and shattered, she clapped her hands twice and touched the ground.
"I yield, sister and brother Ranma. You have proven to be my superior," she admitted, collapsing into unconsciousness a second later. Ranma sighed in relief, favoring his right arm.
A woman leaped above the crowd that was busy applauding him and wrapped around him, gently enough not aggravate his injuries. "Are you all right, lover?" she asked with her cute voice, her dollish face framed by her lustrous purple hair and full of concern.
Ranma gave her a roguish smirk. "Nothing a good night's sleep won't heal, Pu-chan" he replied proudly. "Taking on the whole council at once was a bit too much even for me and the fact they are leery of me made them go all out."
"And yet you have triumphed, Son-in-law" came the wizened voice from behind him and he turned to give a little bow at Cologne that had her arm in a cast. "I did not believe you were ready for this, but apparently you have a knack for fooling me." After that, she used her chi to raise her voice far above the crowd's bustle. "Sisters and Brothers! Elite warrior Ranma Saotome has passed the ultimate trial of combat and has prevailed. Our gods find her and him worthy and from now on our Sister and Brother Ranma is part of the high council of elders. Anyone who may challenge that decision may step forward and face her and him in battle."
Predictably, nobody dared to utter a thing.
"We welcome you to our circle, honored elder Ranma. Know that you are doubly honored as nobody has ever attained such a position at your age except in legends long past."
Ranma took his cue, bowing to the crowd. "And I gracefully accept the honor, honored elder Khu Lon" he followed, retreating with his wife and her grandmother after a while.
"Hey, old ghoul. If you dare call me 'honored elder' in private, I'll kick your honored butt to next Sunday. I hope you realize that" he chuckled while kissing his wife.
Cologne cackled in response. "I am quite aware of that, Son-in-law. These old bone will need all the rest they can get" she replied, sighing as Ranma proceeded to heavily make out with his wife while walking.
Shampoo melted at his touch, then giggled. "You'll never change Airen. That's why I love you so much. I hope I can become strong enough to take the challenge myself...," she added, a bit sadly. "You are so much better than me I'm ashamed."
Ranma simply hugged her tighter. "If that's so important to you, me and old ghoul will step up your training. It won't be easy, though" he added seriously.
Shampoo simply nodded.
No sooner had they reached their home, one of the larger complexes of the tribe, when twin red-haired missiles tackled Shampoo to the floor. "Why don't you do that to your father!" she complained, hugging her four-year-old daughters and laughing.
"We tackled daddy last time!" they replied in unison.
Ranma took Cologne aside for a private talk. "What is the situation with the Musk and the Phoenix?" he asked gravely.
Cologne's visage made him relax. "It's all done, Ranma. The rebel parties are subdued and the tribes are now completely under our control. You've done it. After many millennia all the tribes have united as one." Noticing the frown on his face, she grinned. "Now don't you worry. We will be merciful to them, as you've always wanted. In time, they will become our equals."
Ranma sighed. "That's good to hear. I didn't exactly enjoy the war."
Cologne nodded in sympathy. "You have all the time in the world ahead of you. You can't run for matriarch until you are at least 50 years old after all," she added cackling.
Ranma made a face. "I really don't think so, but I guess I have the next decades to consider it. For now, I have to leave for some days. Alone, too. Now that there is no danger to the tribe I can do that a bit easier."
The elder sighed. "I won't ask what you need to do, Ranma. I can tell it's important. Say goodbye to your wife and be careful."
A couple hours later, after Ranma had properly, if hastily, said goodbye to Shampoo, he brought his hands together, creating a sphere of yellow energy. He soon vanished and the glowing globe fled out of a window at breakneck speeds.
- - -
She woke up in his arms and sighed in delight, debating whether she should wake him up or snuggle next to him and sleep in.
Caressing his serene face, she sighed once more. "Here we are, five years after everything went for once right. Masters of the Tendo dojo with fifty more in Japan and a hundred more around the world. The fourth richer family in Japan. Parents of one and still foolishly in love. And you are still the same idiot I fell for" she added longingly.
"Geez, get back to sleep, tomboy" he mumbled, half asleep.
In response, she leaped and landed on him knees first. "You jerk! I try to be all romantic and that's how you respond?" she asked in mock anger.
He cracked an eye open. "You? Romantic? Don't make me laugh. My uncute, sexy and beautiful wife wouldn't know romantic if it bit her on the ass" he responded. Now fully awake, he flipped both of them, landing on top and proceeded to kiss his wife thoroughly.
Akane and Ranma Saotome-Tendo had to stop and cringe when a childish war cry resounded through the neighborhood.
Akane sighed as Ranma caressed her short midnight blue hair. "Your daughter is officially Nerima's alarm clock, Ranma. I mean, one of the reasons we let the old part of the complex to my sisters was because we wanted to have our bedroom as far away from the dojo as possible. That's why we bought the surrounding estates and expanded the thing."
Ranma chuckled. "Why are you accusing me?" he asked giddily. "YOUR daughter never had a chance to be anything sort of a tomboy. Can you believe she was asking me about advanced aura manipulation just yesterday? I mean, what the hell, she is only four! She shouldn't even know what an aura is."
"And just who are you calling a tomboy?" demanded Akane, aura blazing.
Ranma smiled. "Well, that explains how she knows about auras. Come here you!"
A few seconds later, Akane was moaning instead of fuming. "Do you really have to leave today?" she whined after a while. "If you're going on some adventure I want to be with you," she added.
Her husband sighed. "I need to go alone Acchan. And someone must take care of the dojo and our daughter."
Akane raised a brow. "Mousse Konatsu and our fathers can take care of the classes for a while. And as for our baby, I swear she has grown sick of our faces. Your mother will be delighted to have exclusive coddling rights for a while."
Ranma nodded. "That's true, but I'm still going alone. I'll tell you what. After I return and if some other adventure doesn't come up, we'll go treasure hunting, just the two of us. I've found a map leading to some ancient training ground in Brazil and I want to check it out. How about it?"
Akane sighed melodramatically. "Woe is me. The most romantic thing my husband can do is drag me through a jungle" after that, she smiled feverishly. "I'll pack today and wait for you to return."
He chuckled, gaining an elbow to the ribs. "That's my tomboy."
After a while she frowned. "Whom exactly are you meeting with?" she asked a bit peevish.
Ranma grinned, then brought the back of his palm on his forehead. "Wahh!! My wife still doesn't trust me!" he responded, doing a very convincing Soun impersonation.
"There, there" she responded, patting him on the head. "Of course I trust you. It's the hordes of girls you seem to attract that I don't trust," she added condescendingly. She shuddered when Ranma shot her a very feral glance. "Why are you looking at me like I'm a triple parfait?" she asked blushing.
Ranma made sure to deepen his voice as his hand vanished under their blanket. "Oh, that's pretty simply" he started and Akane shuddered again as she was reminded they were both nude underneath. "I'll have to make you scream even louder this time," he added, his hands feeling like fire against her skin. "Loud enough to wipe any jealous thoughts from your little tomboyish mind."
"J...jerk..." she responded, with enough lust and affection to make any further words redundant.
Several hours later, Ranma left the bed, leaving Akane in unconscious bliss, a calm golden aura lighting her skin. Catching a quick shower, he leaped out of a window, shot a glance at his daughter that was still practicing in the dojo, then boosted his own aura and rose in the sky.
- - -
Ranma Kuno was the first to arrive, consciously emulating Ryouga's technique and turning a corner to find himself in the other side of the world. He entered the restaurant and walked to a waitress.
"How can I help you sir."
Ranma smiled. "Reservation for four, under the name 'Himura'" he responded and she blinked, her eyes widening in recognition.
"This private room was reserved five years ago!" she exclaimed. "This is so exciting, please follow me!"
Ranma soon found himself admiring said private room, which was very private indeed, with soundproofed walls and no windows.
Ranma of the Amazons arrived soon, almost at the same time as Ranma Saotome-Tendo. Ranma Saotome was the last, removing his backpack and sending it back in hidden weapon space.
For a while, they remained in awkward silence, smiling a bit as the waitress came and did a triple take. After she left, they all erupted to laughter.
"I take it everybody is satisfied with what they draw?" inquired Ranma Saotome. For some reason, they all turned their gaze at Ranma Kuno.
"It was only bad in the beginning" he answered the unasked question. "I was a bit peeved I drew Kodachi, but I don't regret any of it. In fact I'm very much in love, so stop looking at me like I'm an alien."
"Right" coughed Ranma the Amazon, apparently unconvinced. "I hear all three of you are currently filthy rich, right?"
Ranma Saotome-Tendo nodded. "Yeah, like you are one to talk. From what I hear, you practically have all of the Jusenkyo valley and surrounding settlements at your beck and call. You are a patriarch in everything but name."
Ranma the Amazon chuckled nervously. "It's not what it looks like. The council is still making me trouble." The rest shot him a withering glare.
Ranma Saotome sighed. "You should know by now that the 'it's not what it looks like' line never helps" he admonished, gaining a 'bite me' glare from Shampoo's husband.
Ranma S-T decided to defuse the situation. "So, how many fiancées did you encounter?" he asked joyfully.
The rest of the Ranmas mirrored his expression.
"Twelve!" exclaimed Ranma Kuno. "Ko-chan was just about ready to feed them to Green Turtle."
Ranma the Amazon sighed. "Only five that I know of. Who knows how many were killed or turned away. We amazons are a pretty possessive bunch, you know" he added, gaining a collective 'D'oh' response from the rest.
Ranma Saotome grinned. "Twenty two found me in Europe, believe it or not. My son almost killed the last one, actually. Run her over while riding a giant cockroach. Don't ask," he added forestalling the incredulous reaction that was bound to follow. The rest nodded slowly, then everybody eyed Ranma S-T.
"So, how many had to face hurricane Akane" asked Ranma Kuno teasingly.
Ranma S-T laughed aloud. "I have you all beaten. My tomboy trounced no less than forty-seven of the harpies. Five of them were a decent challenge, too. I swear, Akane could take on Cologne and win these days" he added, causing the rest to whistle in appreciation.
"That's pretty damn impressive. Xian Pu has long training days ahead when I get back" commented Ranma the Amazon.
"Don't kill the girl, man" chuckled Ranma Kuno, causing the rest to glare at him. "What?" he asked obliviously.
"So says the guy that made Kodachi a world champion" commented Ranma Saotome.
"The one that taught her chi blasts" added Ranma S-T.
"The same one that had her learn the Breaking Point of all thing!" finished Ranma the Amazon.
Ranma Kuno seemed hurt. "But Ko-chan said she liked it!" he complained.
The other three Ranmas went bug-eyed and promptly plugged their ears. "La-la-la. We can't hear you!" they chanted in unison, causing him to sulk.
"So, what about your greatest achievement?" asked Ranma Saotome. "Me and Ucchan found the recipe to the elixir of immortality exactly one year ago in an old temple in Canada" he added causing Ranma S-T to grumble.
"Me and 'Kane were two days late then" he whined. "Does teaching my tomboy how to cook count?" he asked, causing everyone to gasp. "Okay, okay I'm kidding! She is still learning but ain't there yet. On the other hand, I gained control of the curse. Let's say that Akane doesn't want to be bothered to leave the bed for water of any temperature when she's in THAT kind of mood" he clarified, changing forms twice with a thought.
"Too much information" taunted Ranma Kuno grinning. "As for me, I figured out how ol' P-chan gets lost. I can teleport around at will, although I do end up lost sometimes. Be sure to ask me about Oz later"
Ranma the Amazon chuckled. "I wouldn't change mine with any of yours" he purred, running a finger on the table and leaving a deep line.
"Nekoken?" asked Ranma T-S incredulously.
The other nodded smugly. "Perfect control and no more stupid fear. Now I only need to stop being distracted by catnip..." he mused, causing the rest to face-fault.
- - -
Hours later the four Ranmas were still chatting about their respective lives and occasionally laughing.
"One or four, we really are blessed and cursed to live in interesting times" mused Ranma S-T and the rest nodded.
A second later, Ranma Saotome blinked. "Hey, if that's true, isn't it dangerous for us to gather in the same room?" he asked, causing the others to go silent and slowly reexamine their surroundings.
After a while, Ranma Kuno chuckled. "Oh, come on guys there are four copies of the best martial artist in the world here. What could possibly go wrong?" he asked, then gulped.
The rest shot him an incredulous glare. "Did the Kunos contaminate you or something?" demanded Ranma S-T. "You KNOW you should never say that!"
A second later, the waitress returned, carrying some tea. And tripped on the table. Four pairs of hands caught her reflexively, of course, but that was until the hot tea spilled all over them, canceling the instant spring of drowned twins that had acted five years before and leaving a very confused waitress and Ranma Saotome-Tendo-Kuno of the Amazons with a severe case of splitting headache.
"Whoops..." he muttered as twenty years of separate experiences tried to coalesce in one mind.
Ranma's life, a blessing, a curse or both?
You decide...
The End.
- - -
Yes, I'm ending it here. I don't care what happens next, I'll leave that to your imagination. While I'm mainly a Ranma-Akane fan and I believe Akane has the most chances, I can see him with any of the girls. Keep in mind that up to the last scene this story is all about best case scenarios. A worst case scenario with the same theme would probably become the darkfic of the year or something. I'm not sure I can get in angsty enough mood to ever write 'Quad Misery'...