Blondes, Promise and Shattered Watches

By mistyfur

Disclaimer:Voyager and crew are owned forever by the unromantic supreme rulers of Paramount universe.

Pairings: J/C

Rating: PG-13 because ofone word used.

Summary: End Game Addition

Kathryn Janeway sat on the floor propped up against the bulkhead in her quarters, trying to drink away the sorrow of the coming future. A bottle of brandy lay beside her, where she had placed it so that it was within reach. The room was pitch black except for the soft glow of the passing stars as Voyager made its triumphant trip towards Earth.

It was the last day that the crew of Voyager would be together as a family. The return to the Alpha Quadrant had dealt a devastating blow to the Borg Collective and to the cherished dreams of Kathryn Janeway.

For the past seven years, Captain Janeway had ruthlessly suppressed the carefree spirit of Kathryn and she was slowly losing pieces of her soul in the constant struggle. During the day the Captain ruled but at night, in her sleep, Kathryn emerged from her impenetrable prison.

In her dreams, Kathryn yearned for the moment when she would be free from all protocols and finally be able to share her love with the one person who always stood by her side. She had created a cherished dream since leaving New Earth, where she would at last find joy and fulfillment with her Angry Warrior.

But that dream had been built on a house of cards and with one swift breeze it had been torn down forever. Fate had once again lured her towards happiness only to cruelly take it away. With the arrival of Admiral Janeway, Kathryn had seen all her dreams broken with a few words. The Admiral had known what those words would do to her; after all she had already lived through the reality and loss, causing her to turn into a cynical bitter old woman. The Captain and Kathryn had reacted to the news different. The Captain was glad that her best friend had found happiness but Kathryn silently screamed in pain, at the loss of a promise made long time ago.

Kathryn took a large gulp of the strong liquor and felt it burn a path down her throat. With an unsteady hand she reached for the bottle and refilled her glass. Her blues filled with tears as she tried to hold back the hurt and rage she felt. She raised her glass mockingly, "Well, you wanted him to move forward and start living his life. Congratulations, Captain, you won." Janeway toasted herself cynically. "Here's to Chakotay and his current blonde of the month Two of Double D's. And last but not least here's to our stupidity and protocols, may they keep us happy for the rest of our life." With that she quickly tossed back the contents of her glass.

After a few minutes, she slowly stood up, wavering slightly as she tried to get her bearings in the dark. "Computer lights 20." Kathryn called out as she staggered towards the couch, collapsing on top of it.

The memories of each smile, each touch and word echoed cruelly in her mind. Lying on top of the table was a peace rose and the watch that Chakotay had given to her for her birthday. Each gift treasured throughout the many years. She reached forward with a trembling hand to brush the soft petals of the rose. Chakotay had given it to her, hours ago, as a gift for getting everyone home like she had promised since the start of their journey. Kathryn grasped the watch tightly and clutched it to her chest. Tears started to fall down her face and sobs escaped from her tightly pressed lips.

"My Angry Warrior. What happened to your promise to always be by my side and ease my burdens? "Kathryn asked in a choked whisper. She reached up and angrily wiped away the tears as she felt the rage overwhelming her. "Oh, I forgot. There's a hidden clause in the promise written with invisible ink. If there's a young, blonde bimbo in the vicinity, the promise becomes null and void. "

Janeway bitterly laughed at herself. Was this how Admiral Janeway had become that cold, calculating bitch. Had Chakotay's final betrayal with Seven completely destroyed the last piece of Kathryn's soul that she had been clinging desperately to? I was a fool to think he would wait.

Kathryn couldn't hold back the wave of emotions any longer. She cried out loud for the all pain of many years of loneness and heartache that she had endured.

TBC