It's a snowy night on the outskirts of Plainsboro. A rattly beater skids to a stop on a snow-covered bridge, and its door squeaks open to reveal a cane, followed by a pair of long and sexy legs. A besotted House drags himself out of the car and staggers over to the railing at the center of the bridge. He brushes off several inches of flurries and hangs his cane on the rail as he leans forward to look down at the icy water below.

"Remember, Greg. No man is a failure who has friends."

Startled, House turns to see that he is not alone. A large burly man with twinkling eyes is standing next to him along the rail.

House snorts. "That's why I'm here." He looks away, adding, "And you are?"

"Bill Oddie, AS 2."

"Wha--?"

"I mean Clarence Oddbody, AS 2. Angel, second class."

"See? Even my guardian angel is second class. And me an Eton boy." House eyes his companion up and down with a look of distaste, then, once again, looks away. "So what do you want?"

"You've been given a great gift, Greg. A chance to see what the world would be like without you." Clarence pulls out an iPhone from his down parka and shows it to the camera.

House reluctantly turns to look at the small screen. It flickers for a moment, then dissolves into the FOX logo and bumper. The announcer's voice over: "Tuesday nights on FOX, American Idol at 8, American Idol at 9, American Idol at 10. Eastern and Pacific. All American Idol, all the time—on FOX!"

House shudders and turns away. "God help us."

"Well, he was a little busy with Dr. McDreamy, so he sent me."

House straightens up his torso with an air of decisiveness. "That's it." He throws one long leg over the railing. "See you in Hell, Clarence."

Clarence grabs House by the shoulders, shaking him violently. "Wait, Greg! You've really had a wonderful life. Don't you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it away?"

"And just who is going to miss me?"

Out comes the iPhone again. This time, the screen shows the fireman with a broken heart not getting unneeded ECT, seeing a capable oncologist, getting treated for his tumor, and marrying his firefighter sweetheart. House winces as if he'd swallowed a lemon.

"Oh, no wait." Clarence presses another button with a thick gloved finger. "Here."

The screen shows an alcoholic pregnant woman with a dying baby. Top neonatologists arrive from Johns Hopkins and the baby's life is saved. The miracle spurs the parents to quit drinking and they and their child go home and life happily ever after.

With a grunt. House swings his other leg over the rail, throws off his jacket, and sits balancing precariously on the railing's edge.

"No, no—please," Clarence cries as he taps the iPhone again. Foreman, Chase, Cameron, Cuddy, and Wilson are sitting in the hospital cafeteria laughing and joking.

Cameron: Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives.

Chase: Glad the awful arsehole isn't around, aren't we?

They all laugh.

Clarence looks as if he's ready to cry. The reaction engenders a surprising hearty laugh from House, who deftly vaults back onto the bridge, and lands neatly on his good leg.

"Huh?" Clarence is stunned through his tears. "But—"

"You just saved my life, dude." House effusively points at the angel. "Finally, somebody who's a bigger loser than I am."

"You mean…" Clarence sniffs through his reddened nose.

House gets his jacket, shakes off the snow, and puts it back on. "Hey, Mr. Angel, why don't we take a stroll to the local pub and get a drink." He snickers, adding, "I'll limp. You fly."

"I may be a little light on my feet, but I can't fly. How 'bout we use my cab?" The angel pulls out his car key remote and presses it—the cab's lights down the road flash with an accompanying loud ring.

House smiles and puts his non-cane-holding arm around his old friend's shoulders as they start toward the taxi. "Attaboy, Clarence."

The End.