Superbowl Sunday 1998
Sophie was Kevin's refuge. Always had been. Whenever he was upset, she was the one who could calm him down. Whenever he was being unreasonable, she was the one who could talk him down and knock some sense into him. And after the altercation with his parents he'd just had, she was absolutely the only person he wanted to be with right now.
He hobbled all the way to her house on his crutches, fully aware she might not be home anyways, because she'd talked about celebrating her acceptance to NYU with her parents on the phone earlier.
When she opened the door, surprised, but actually happy to see him, he was so relieved. He had no plans to bother her with his unnecessary drama, he just wanted to be with her and feel the comfort of her presence, while they watched their favorite movie together.
But there was no fooling Sophie. "So?" She asked over her shoulder as she was setting up the VHS. "What happened?"
And just like that he spilled everything that had happened between him and his parents that evening.
"I was a complete ass to them, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do now," he finished just as Sophie slid the Princess Bride tape into the VHS. "Football was the only thing I had going for myself and now it's gone and I have nothing and they can't see that and it pissed me off."
Sophie joined him on the couch, shaking her head so vigorously like she couldn't believe the utter bullshit that was coming out of her boyfriend's mouth. "Football is not the only thing you have going for yourself, Kevin."
"Oh really? What else is there? I'm not actually smart like Randall. Or nice like Randall for that matter."
"You gotta stop comparing yourself to Randall," Sophie said. "Just because you're not as smart as him, doesn't mean you're dumb. Also, I'm sure there are enough people who would disagree on you not being nice. Take Charlotte Everly for example."
Kevin frowned. "Who?"
"The girl you helped at Hannah Brubaker's party last year?"
The explanation didn't do much to jog Kevin's memory. He stared blankly, trying to figure out what Sophie was talking about. Sophie rolled her eyes in frustration. "God, it's just like you to forget the times when you're actually nice."
"Let's just watch the movie, okay?" Kevin grumbled.
With a sigh, Sophie pressed the play button on the remote and some random movie trailer started playing. Still she wasn't willing to let it go just yet. "Kevin?" she whispered as she snuggled closer to him and wrapped her arms around his torso. "You do know football was not the only thing that made you worthy of your parents' attention, don't you? And it was certainly not the only thing that made you worthy of their love."
"What?" Kevin laughed to defuse the conversation, which was certainly becoming way too serious for his liking. Way too real. "Of course I know that. Jeez, Soph, it's really not that deep. I was just pissed at the whole situation. Now shut up, the movie's about to start."
Sophie ignored him. "You know what you should do?" She sat up and reached for the phone on the coffee table. "You should call your mom and dad and apologize. It's gonna make them feel better and that's gonna make you feel better."
Kevin considered this for a moment. Then he flashed a grateful smile at his girlfriend. She just knew him too well. "What would I ever do without you, Soph?"
He took the phone and started dialing.
So Kate's wedding.
How did Sophie even end up here? How did that happen?
To say she was surprised when the wedding invitation – printed on fancy and expensive paper – arrived in the mail is an understatement. Sophie had no idea why Kate would want her to attend her wedding, but how could she decline that invitation? After all, Kate is not only her former sister-in-law, but also a friend. They had not been very close in years and Sophie knows that is mostly her fault, but she'll be damned if she lets Kate down on the most important day of her life.
So here she is, sitting at a table all by herself in a big white tent that was put up for the wedding reception, feeling somewhat uncomfortable and out of place. Her eyes wander around the room and find Miguel, who gives her a warm encouraging smile.
Sophie knows she should mingle and talk to people. She'd given her congrats and present to Kate and Toby of course and they seemed happy to have her here, but it didn't really change the feeling of not belonging that has taken hold of her. During the ceremony things had been easy enough. She didn't have to talk to anybody and could just watch and listen as Kate and Toby spoke their vows and the officiant declared them husband and wife. But now Sophie doesn't really know what to do with herself. Maybe she should have brought someone to keep her company after all.
Plus one, that's what the invitation had said. Sophie came alone. There's currently no plus one in her life.
Almost involuntarily, Sophie's eyes start searching for the man who used to be her plus one for so many years.
Childhood friend, teenage sweetheart, husband - Kevin Pearson was all of those things. Certainly that has to sound boring for most people, but for Sophie Kevin's been everything. All she ever wanted and needed. This one stupid man has always been enough for her. And it's almost ironic, because Sophie knows, despite all his bravado, Kevin never saw himself that way.
She finds him seated at a table at the far end of the tent. Sophie notices that his eyes are searching too, or more like following someone actually. It's the waiter. Not the one who's running around with a tray, offering canapés to the wedding guests. Kevin follows the one with the bottle of champagne. When he stops to refill the glass of Kate's father-in-law, Kevin's gaze locks on the bottle.
Sophie feels a stab in her heart. Alcohol is an ever present temptation for Kevin now. Something he desperately wants, but can't have. How hard must that be for him? She looks at her own half emptied glass of bubbly on the table in front of her. She can just drink it and have another one, or several, and not be worried about the consequences. It's so easy. A hangover is the worst that could happen to her. For Kevin the consequences would be worse. So much worse.
She's still staring at him, when he forces his eyes to let go of the waiter and turns his head. Before Sophie can avoid it, their eyes meet. Kevin looks at her with a sort of apologetic, sad smile. Sophie is the first to look away. God, why is she doing this to herself? She should get out of here. She should never have come here in the first place.
Just when she she's about to get up, the skinny blonde girl, Madison, comes over to her table and engages her in a conversation. Apparently she's Kate's self-proclaimed maid of honour. What an unlikely friendship, Sophie thinks. That girl seems way too chipper. Normally Kate would find that annoying. Just the same Sophie is glad Kate is expanding her social circle. And that she found such a great guy like Toby for a husband. If anybody deserves happiness it's Kate.
When Madison leaves, Sophie glances across the tent to Kevin again. She sees Randall's daughter Tess stroll towards her uncle's table. Kevin says something to her, his face looking serious and sad. Tess shakes her head and puts her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Then she slumps into a chair beside him. Sophie smiles. His niece's company is probably a very welcome distraction for Kevin. She's happy he's doing better now. So incredibly happy. She has not forgotten all the heartache he's caused her, though.
You idiot. Why did you have to screw everything up? Twice?
But even now, as she's silently cursing him, she can feel everything inside of her gravitate towards him. Even now she wants nothing more than to be close to him. Even now she loves him.
The fact that he looks devilishly handsome in that suit he's wearing isn't helping matters either. If there was ever a person who seems to walk through life with their own private spotlight shining on them, it's definitely Kevin Pearson. Being the center of attention comes naturally to him. And he loves it, because he needs it. Or thinks that he needs it. But Sophie knows, deep down he sometimes hates it so much more than he loves it.
Sophie's musings are interrupted by loud applause as the wedding guests cheer at Kate, who has joined the band on the small stage that was put up at one side of the tent. Couples are filling the dance floor as the bride starts singing Can't Help Falling In Love. Kevin gets pulled out on the dance floor by an impatient Annie. He pretends to be reluctant at first, but soon his youngest niece is standing on Kevin's feet and they're turning in slow circles.
It is cute. So stinking cute actually, that it's annoying. Sophie rolls her eyes to the ceiling. You can't make it easy on me Pearson, can you?
The attention span of little girls is short, though, so it barely takes two songs, before Annie loses interest in dancing and wanders off. Helplessly Kevin throws his hands in the air as he watches her leave. With an amused grin he shakes his head, then strides towards the buffet table.
While Kevin studies the amuse-bouche, Sophie studies him. If he was any other guy, she would just go over there and invite him for a drink. But he is not just any guy. He's the guy who's hurt her more than any other man. They've had their chance. Multiple chances actually. But they could never make it work. There's so much precious history between them, but also so much pain.
Too much water under the bridge, as they say.
She wishes there wasn't.
Sophie stops. But what if there wasn't?
Sophie jumps up and starts towards the buffet table where Kevin is standing. A waiter crosses her path, offering her a glass of champagne from his tray. Liquid courage? God knows, Sophie could really use some more of that right now. But she shakes her head at the waiter. Surely Kevin is struggling enough as it is, she will not add to that by walking up to him with a glass of champagne in hand.
„So, bride or groom?" she asks as she approaches her ex-husband.
Kevin wrinkles his forehead, turns his head left and right, checking if she might be talking to somebody else. „Sorry?"
„I was just wondering if you're on the groom's guest list or the bride's?"
„What? But-"
„Oh bride of course." Sophie slaps her hand against her forehead as if she's just had a revelation. „I saw you walk behind Kate as she was coming down the aisle. You're her cousin or something?"
„Sophie, what the hell are you doing?"
She sighs deeply. „I'm trying something here." Suddenly feeling uneasy, she shifts her weight from one leg to the other. „Look, I was thinking and I… I believe we did this all wrong. We wanted to pick up where we left off, but maybe we need to start with a clean slate? Maybe we need to get to know each other all over again? 12 years is a long time. We're not the same people anymore." She chews her lip. „And I thought, what if we don't try to make the puzzle piece fit, but just start a new one? A whole new puzzle?"
Kevin is still looking at her with a sort of confused and wary expression.
„Like…" Sophie extends her hand to him. „Hi, I'm Sophie. I'm a friend of Kate's. And who are you?"
She waits a few seconds with her hand sort of dangling in mid-air. Just when she's about to feel stupid, a smile appears on Kevin's face and he finally accepts Sophie's hand. „Hi, I'm Kevin. I'm Kate's brother. Nice to meet you."
Sophie smiles back at him, still shaking his hand. It was such a simple thing, but her heart makes a silly little somersault. She bites her lip as not to let it show how much she's missed the feeling of his touch. „Pleasure to meet you too, Calvin."
„No, it's Kevin," he laughs, starting to get a hang of this game.
„Oh, sorry, my bad. Care to have a drink with me, Kevin?"
„Sorry, Sonia-"
"It's Sophie."
"Right, Sophie. Sorry. No, I uh… no drink for me. I don't drink. Ever."
"You don't drink?" Sophie pretends to be surprised. "I'm sure there's a story there." For a moment there, she drops the facade and just studies Kevin with sympathetic, sad eyes. She still hates herself for not noticing what had been going on with him. "I wanna hear everything about it," she says softly. "Whenever you're ready."
Kevin nods, grateful. "Do you uh… want to dance, Sophie?"
"I would love to," she smiles.
Out on the dance floor, Kevin tentatively slides his arms around her waist as Sophie wraps hers around his neck. She feels a little nervous flutter in her stomach and by the look in Kevin's eyes she can tell he feels similar. Realizing that almost makes her laugh, because they've never been nervous or awkward around each other. Not since they were kids and Kevin tried to impress her with his own Princess Bride birthday party. But what they're doing now feels like exploring familiar and uncharted territory at the same time. So maybe a little nervousness is just part of that journey. And maybe that's not such a bad thing at all.
Author's Note: This was my first attempt at writing This Is Us fanfiction. I just couldn't live in a world where there's not a single Kevin/Sophie fic, so I wrote one myself. I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review. They always make me happy :)