A/N: This is a song meme I did on my Livejournal (I also did this for Harry Potter - see 'Shuffle Collage'). Set your music device of choice on shuffle/random and write a drabble from the beginning of song, 'til the end. I decided to use Abby and Ziva from NCIS for this idea, which proved to be hard since this is one my newer fandoms, but I gave it a shot anyway. Normally this is done with ten songs, but I did as many as I could.

Pairing: Abby/Ziva

Warnings: Femslash

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Donald P. Bellisario, Bellisarius Productions, CBS, Paramount, etc. No copyright infringement intended.

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Music to Live By

1 - "Never Too Late" by Three Days Grace

Ziva looked out into the abyss of the dark water far below her. She contemplated what it would feel like to jump in, end all her worries with one last breath. Her hands clenched tightly at the railing, thinking it over. She realized then, that it would be the worst decision of her life... Wouldn't it? As if on cue, pale arms wrapped around her waist from behind. Abby snuggled her face against her shoulder. Ziva smiled, knowing, this was the reason that she had to live on. Not for herself, but for Abby. For the one she loved.

2 - "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie

"Abigail? What's wrong?" Ziva asked, entering the lab.

Sniffling, Abby shook her head, unable to vocalize her feelings at the moment. Ziva knelt beside the seat the goth sat in and grasped her hand gently.

"Abigail, you know you can talk to me. Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying!" The goth said, sniffling again.

"Then why are you sniffling?"

"Because... I heard you're going away again." Abby finally relented. "Please don't go... It's so hard on me when you're not here. When I don't know if you're alive or dead."

Sighing, Ziva hugged her girlfriend. "You know I have to do my job. I'm sorry."

3 - "Smooth Criminal" by Alien Ant Farm

"I don't understand what you like about some of this music." Ziva said, putting the headphones down.

She'd been trying to better understand Abby. The more she learned, the less she seemed to understand the goth. Especially when it came to her taste in music. The lyrics made little sense, and when they did, they had an atrocious beat to go with them. The goth snuggled against Ziva, plucking the headphones from her hand.

"It's about enjoying the music, not really understanding it."

"That makes no sense."

4 - "In the End" by Linkin Park

Abby placed a small locket into the Israeli woman's hand. Ziva picked it up, letting it dangle in the air between.

"What's this for?" She asked.

"No matter how far we are, you'll be able to think about me. When you come back, you'll be able to recognize me still."

Ziva smiled gently. "I couldn't forget you if I tried, Abigail."

Abby took Ziva's hands in her own and kissed Ziva's top hand, the one that held the locket.

"It's for just in case." The goth said softly.

5 - "I Hate Everything About You (Why Do I Love You)" by Three Days Grace

Everything crashed to the floor in succession. Nothing was safe from the pain that ate at the goth as she flung and pushed everything in sight to the floor. She yelled several times, kicking objects across the room in mid-scream. It was impossible to know what had set her off in the first place while she was in this state. Though, there was a good chance that it had something to do with Ziva having to go back to her country for the next two years. Tears ran her make-up as Abby thought about how easier things would be if she could just hate Ziva. But she couldn't. With a final throw, she sat down and cried.

6 - "Clubbed to Death" by Rob D (instrumental song - seven minutes long)

Exotic lips were pressed against a pale throat. They ate the soft sighs and moans that crept from the throat. Sounds that whetted the appetite, making Ziva want more of that pale skin. She pulled at a black pigtail, wanting it loose so she could run her fingers through it. Abby complied, undoing the pigtails and shaking her hair out, almost reluctant to have to move. Growling, Ziva caught bright lips with hers, fingers mingling in now loose black hair. Like a shark to blood, Ziva wanted more of the goth. Wanted to devour her until Abby could do nothing more then gasp and wheeze her name, or until she passed out. Her mouth moved away from eager lips, going for Abby's jaw, earlobe, and back down her neck.

"Take me already." Abby's voice trembled in lust.

"Soon." A husky whisper against her skin, sending a shiver through the goth.

7 - "How to Save a Life" by The Fray

The blood was pouring rapidly from the wound in her shoulder. Her head swam in and out of visions that were real and memory, undiscernable from each other. People were calling her name, but she could only see black. Someone pressed heavily against her wound and Ziva inhaled sharply in pain. Something wet was hitting her face, and she managed to focus her eyes. Above her, beyond what looked like Tony's face, Abby stood there, crying. A shaking hand reached up, wanting to comfort her, but feeling her strength fading. In a blur of motion, the goth knelt down and took her hand, pressing it to her face. She was saying something, but Ziva couldn't catch the words. Things were fading again and it felt... Almost like freedom.

8- "Blue Monday" by Orgy

The music in the lab blasted, louder then usual. A private party for Ziva and Abby, who were celebrating their six month anniversary. Ziva stood to the side as Abby moshed out to the song playing, surprised once again by how the goth let the music consume her so much. She felt the urge to tell her something important, but she couldn't find the words as she watched Abby bop up and down. Finally, Abby looked up at her, pausing in her movements and quirking her head at Ziva. She said something but it was lost to the music and Ziva pointed at her ears, shaking her head. Abby slipped over to her, sliding her arms around the younger woman and pressing her mouth to her ear.

"What's on your mind?" She asked and laughed at Ziva's surprised reaction.

9 - "Valio la Pena" by Marc Anthony

Ziva hung her gun up and looked over at Abby as she entered the apartment. With a noise maker in her mouth, she bounded over to the younger woman, pulling her into a large hug. It was Ziva's last day as a spy. She would never have to travel abroad and wouldn't have to worry about hiding her personal life anymore. It was liberating, but she somehow felt like she giving up a part of who she was.

"Are you okay?" Abby asked her, noticing the distant look in her eyes.

Smiling, she nodded. "I am."

The truth of the matter was, she was doing this all for the goth. Ziva was tired of worrying her needlessly. Too many close calls, eventually her luck would run out. Before it did, she had chosen this.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. This is worth it." She kissed Abby. "You're worth it."

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Number nine's song translates to 'Worth the Pain' or very roughly 'Worth It'. It's a love song (in spanish), more or less.