Gabi's Summer
June 13
Well it has been one day since Sebastian and Cindy walked the stage at graduation. Man, I really wish I could have been there! I'm so proud of the three of us. After everything we've went through this year, with Sebastian's parents kicking him out because he was gay; with Cindy getting pregnant, and with me realizing that I am strong and shouldn't care what others think of me, I can officially say we made it!
It's crazy to think that at the beginning of the school year I was obsessing over boys like Eric, And now I have the greatest guy in the world, Martin. I'm so lucky!
Later…
My mom is back to giving me shit about leaving for college. I get that she has Ernie now and Beto isn't much of a help, but it's not my job to help. I want to go and further my education and maybe even become a poet.
Things with Tia Bertha have never been better! She's even been helping defending me to my mom. My mom has been telling me "Somos familia, nos ayudamos mutuamente!" and Tia Bertha tells her, "Ella es sólo una niña, que siga sus sueños." It feels good to finally have some take my side. After so long of arguing and feeling bad, things are looking up.
I just hope that my mom will get over it and accept the fact that I'm leaving no matter what. It hurts to think that you're only parent is disappointed by your actions, especially after the last time you talked about college she had accepted I was leaving.
It makes me wonder if maybe she found out that Martin and I have had sex, and that's why she doesn't want me to leave to a college where he'll be. If not, why has she suddenly changed her mind again about me leaving?
June 24
Martin and I have been dating for six months now! SIX FREAKING MONTHS! That's half a year! I could not be happier! He asked me on a real fancy date tonight to celebrate.
Cindy and Sebastian are supposed to come over later on to help me figure out what to wear. I've put on some weight since graduation, so hardly any of my clothes are fitting , I've been on dates before, but never anything fancy. What if I look ugly and he decides that six months is long enough and dumps me?
Cindy said she'd bring me some of her old clothes from when she first started getting her belly. Hopefully they'll look cute on me, I'm really nervous that Martin will notice I gained a few pounds. This is the longest relationship I've ever been in and it terrifies me. Cindy and Sebastian tell me everything will be fine and that I'm just over thinking things, but I don't know. They're my best friends, they're obligated to say those things right?
Later...
I'm so lucky to have a pregnant best friend. Cindy had the PERFECT dress for tonight! Her and Sebastian said you couldn't even tell I gained weight. I'm so excited!. Martin and I are going to dinner, and then spending the night at a hotel. Mom thinks I'm spending the night with Cindy though so I'm a little nervous she'll find out the truth.
I still haven't been able to tell her that we've already had sex. She hasn't brought up sex or being a "bad girl" in a while, I don't need that on top of the calling me fat and being upset that I'm leaving to college. I feel like if I told her about me and Martin she would kick me out like Sebastian's parents did to him, or stop talking to me like Cindy's mom did to her. It scares the shit out of me just thinking about what could happen.
Speaking of not telling people about my sex life, I still haven't told Cindy or Sebastian. I thought about telling them while they were here earlier, but I didn't want Sebastian asking for all of the details, or for Cindy to give me a lecture since we're spending the night together. Maybe I'll tell them tomorrow, after Martin and I have our special night.
June 25
Last night was so amazing! When I'm with Martin all of my problems go away and I can just be myself. I didn't even care how the waiter looked at me when I ordered more than Martin for dinner and got dessert. I love that Martin doesn't judge me!
After dinner, I felt like I was going to explode! When we got to the hotel, I was beyond AMAZED! I had forgotten how romantic Martin was! There were red rose petals all over the floor, in a path that led to the bed. The room was a garden, that I never wanted to die.
I got so caught up in the beauty of everything that I forgot that we would be having sex again tonight! We'd decided to wait since the last time my mom had talked to Martin's dad about my sex life and how I was waiting until I got married. Things were pretty awkward after that since the only place we could do it was at his house, and I didn't feel comfortable knowing his dad knew.
It was like the first time all over again, except this time, I wasn't nervous for the same reasons. Martin had already seen me naked, so I wasn't worried about that. I realized that I just scarfed down food like a pig and now I wasn't ready for this to happen. What if I end up throwing up on him? What do I do now? I had all of these thoughts racing in my head as Martin motioned for me to go sit next to him on the bed. Holy shit, should I yawn and pretend to be sleepy?
Okay enough drama, nothing bad happened. I decided to tell Martin that I wasn't feeling too good and he completely understood. We ended up just laying there and watching a documentary on William Shakespeare and talking about how we thought college was going to be. God I am so in love with him!
Later...
So after last night I decided it was time to tell Cindy and Sebastian. They couldn't be upset after I tell them about sweet and romantic Martin was, right?
I cant believe it! My best friends knew that me and Martin had sex already! Why didn't they say anything to me? I've been holding this in for so long and they knew the entire time. So this is how it went.
Me: Hey guys, so I've been keeping something from y'all. Im really sorry and don't hate me, but Martin and I had sex.
Cindy and Sebastian just looked at each other and bursted out laughing. I was so confused until they spoke.
Sebastian: See I told you they did it already Cindy!
Me: You knew?
Cindy: Well me and Sebastian were talking the other day about how much happier you seemed, and Sebastian said that you and Martin probably had sex.
Sebastian: And look I was right! Ha. So Gabi, how was it?
Gabi: If you two thought I did, why didn't you just ask me?
Cindy & Sebastian: We figured you'd tell us when you were ready.
Cindy: I know you must have been worried to tell me because of everything I've been through, but I'm happy for you Gabi! No every guy is like German!
Sebastian: Now back to my question, how was it?
Me: Ha, Sebastian I'm not giving out my sex details, but I will say that I'm glad my first time was with Martin.
After our talk, we sat on my bed while Cindy told us how Sabi was doing and Sebastian told us about the new guy he's talking to. We talked for hours about me leaving to college and decided that we should have a going away party next month before I leave.
June 30
I told my mom about Sebastian and Cindy's idea and let's just say she's not completely on board. I can tell she's starting to get used to the idea that I'm leaving. Tia Bertha said she'd talk to mom for me and tell her that she'll help out with Ernie. Hopefully that helps ease her mind and she'll finally stop giving me hell about leaving so that I can do what I love.
Sebastian called me and Cindy earlier with an update about the new guy he's been talking to. His name is Francisco. He's a twenty year old from Brazil. Sebastian kept going on and on about how sexy it is. Me and Cindy couldn't stop laughing. He goes overboard with all the details he gives about the guys he dates. He told us about how Francisco plans to come visit him. Then he told us something that made our jaws drop. Sebastian said he wants Francisco to be his first!
Me and Cindy didn't know what to say..I kinda thought he had already had sex, so this came as quite a surprise. Cindy said "Wow! That's a big deal, are you sure you're ready for that?"
Sebastian: I think so. Me and Francisco have been talking about it for a while now, and I kind of just want to get it over with.
Me: Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, I don't want you to end up regretting it later.
Sebastian thanked me and Cindy for not being judgemental and we talked for a little while longer. Sebastian had to leave already to go Skype with Francisco.
It was just me and Cindy now. We talked a lot about how Sabi was doing. She hasn't brought him around very much.. This is actually one of the first times her mom agreed to watch him since we all went to the beach for senior skip day. She seems to be doing pretty great though. I told her how proud I was that she has takes care of her son and isnt always trying to go out and leave him home. A few minutes later, her mom called and she had to leave because Sabi was crying for his mommy.
July 5
YESSS! Mom is finally back on board with me leaving to college and we set a date for my going away party. JULY 15th. I leave on the seventeenth, but need to make sure I have time to pack everything up. Yesterday was the fourth of July and my family doesn't celebrate it, but Cindy's does. They had a party. Me and Beto took Ernie to the party so that he could watch the fireworks.
Ernie and Sabi were so adorable. I think they're going to be good friends. It was cute to see them crawling around and smiling at all of the pretty colors. After watching the fireworks, we all sat down and ate hamburgers and hotdogs. Ernie started to get fussy so we had to take him back home. It was an interesting experience thought to see the babies watch the fireworks.
July 8
Martin came over today and we worked on some poetry portfolios for our first day at Berkeley. We talked about all of the places we would visit when we got there and all the pictures we'd take together. I swear I have never been happier than I am with Martin.
He got me a card for our sixth months but it hadn't come in until now. It had a poem he wrote himself inside, it read,:
Six months today,
Our love has been strong,
There are ups and downs,
But we keep holding on,
Never to let go,
Or hideaway and cry,
For we keep on going,
Forever until we die,
With all our feelings,
You know how much I care,
When you look into my heart,
I have so much love to share,
Six months later,
Our love is still strong,
There will be ups and downs,
But we'll always hold on.
I started crying when I first read it until I realized that Martin wa still sitting there on my head. He's such an amazing guy. I feel like the luckiest girl to be able to find a guy I truly love and be able to follow my dream with him by my side at Berkeley.
I started to pack all of my stuff today but stopped as I came across the pictures Sebastian gave me. I still can't believe that in just a week I'll be leaving my best friends behind and going to Berkeley with Martin. I'm going to miss everyone so much.
July 14
Tomorrow is my going away party. I'm so nervous that I pulled out my stash of my favorite cookies from under my pillow. I think my mom knows I still keep them there, but has finally realized that I'm my own person and I'm okay with how I look, no matter how much she complains when seeing me eat a lot. I am a little worried that I'll start to miss everybody so much that I start to overeat and get fat.
I just need to pack a few more boxes and I'll be ready to leave to college. I just realized that I'll have to meet new people at college, and that scares me. I shouldn't care what people think of me, but as school I won't have Cindy or Sebastian or any of my family to help me through any bad situations. I mean sure I'll have Martin, but he'll be in school too, I can't count on him twenty-four/seven. This is going to be so weird.
July 15
Today is the party! I told everyone I didn't want any gifts, but of course Sebastian and Cindy still got me one. God, I have such great friends.
At the party, my mom started by giving a small speech about how much she was going to miss me, but that she was very proud of the young lady that I had become. I'm glad to see that she has finally came around. She went from judging me on my weight and always telling me I would be bad if I hung out with Cindy since she got pregnant, to accepting me and my weight and being okay with me leaving to follow my dreams.
Sebastian and Cindy gave me their present. This was the best present I've ever gotten. It was a framed picture of me, Sebastian, Cindy and Sabi. I started crying like a baby. Sebastian said " I thought you could take it with you to Berkeley so you don't forget us."
Me: I could never forget y'all. You're my best friends. We've been through so much together!
Then we all hugged and cried. I can't believe this is the last time I'll see them before I leave for college.
Last was Beto. He came up to me and hugged me.
Beto: Things have been so hard this year with dad dying and mom having Ernie, but I just want you all to know that I'm sorry I haven't been the best son or brother. I'm going to miss you a lot Gabi. Don't forget to call every chance you get and have a great time at college.
By this time the living room was flooded. Everyone was crying and laughing. It was so surreal. Who would have thought that I would be the one leaving, that I would have a great boyfriend, and that I was going to my dream school. I can't wait to see what memories I'll make in college.