River
2008
By: Dalya Salandy
Staring out the window of the moving train all she could see was mountains, and all she could think of was James and how much she missed him, she missed their ranch in Texas, she missed being completely happy but as always she missed her James. She passed an angry hand across her cheek where a tear slipped out, she hated to cry. Looking at her children always brought a smile to her face, and seeing them now reminded her of why she was moving to Colorado Springs, why she was seeking her brother and only living family and why she knew she needed to get out of Texas.
Prologue
"What time is papa coming home?" William asked for the third time since his mother asked him to set the table, "he should be home by now" River answered, carrying little River on her hip she went to the kitchen window and looked out onto her beautiful ranch. River loved her ranch, she loved the space and isolation of it, she loved the beauty of the sunset and the brightness of the sunrise, she loved the clear blue sky that seemed to settle over the double S and stay there, to River this was heaven on earth. "Where is he?" she said softly rubbing little Rivers back, James was late, and he was never late. James always said that the best part of his day was coming home to his family and since she'd been pregnant this time he was always on time getting home, some days he would surprise them by coming home early. River tried to have dinner ready when he got home so that James would have time to play with the children before it got to dark to see, and tonight was special because she felt the baby kick for the first time today and she couldn't wait to share that with her husband, as much as she enjoyed being pregnant she felt James enjoyed it a lot more. James loved being a father, he loved playing with and teaching his children, he enjoyed talking with them, reading to them and sharing meals with them. He was as involved a father in their lives as most mothers and yet he still made an excellent living as the town Reverend, it didn't hurt that he was also independently wealthy or that his wife had worked and saved all her earnings for a few years before they were wed.
"There he is!" came a very excited little voice, "papas home, papas home!" River smiled to herself and then kissed little River on her cheek, "your papas home sweetheart" she whispered to her youngest trying to contain herself and not run through the house to where William stood on tip toes looking out the window, River often wondered if this wonderful feeling she got in her heart every time her husband came near would ever go away and she prayed that it wouldn't. "mama! someone else is here! and they're comin real fast...so is papa" called William, from the front room. "fast?" River put the baby down and told William to watch her for a moment...
There was indeed a cloud of smoke coming toward the house, River stepped out on the porch just as James got off his horse. James stepped toward his home and wife with a light heart, he loved coming home to her, she made everything he did seem like it was absolutely fabulous. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned finally realizing someone else was coming, he never saw the gun—or the man who pulled the trigger. "No!!!!" River screamed as she watched her husband fall, her first thought that the man who shot James would shoot her too, and what about her babies inside? Hearing a noise behind her River turned to the house to see William standing watching her with tears in his eyes and her shotgun in his hands, "go inside, get under my bed and STAY THERE!" River ordered William before she grabbed the gun away from him and aimed it at the men who were now stopped about 50 feet away from the house; she pulled the trigger twice before she got behind the railing as a barrage of bullets assaulted her. Then they were gone. Finally she looked out and saw there was nobody there, nobody save her James. "James!" she screamed as she ran down the steps and held his head in her lap, but she was too late.
"Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die."
"God grant this man eternal peace, Amen"
Nothing had ever hurt this much, and she doubted anything ever would again. River stood at her husbands' fresh grave with her son and daughter, she put her hand on her protruding belly whispered a silent prayer of thanks for giving her the life within her and said goodbye to her love. Her face was streaked with tears, yet she knew she had to hold in the sobs that threatened to break free, she knew she needed to be strong for her children. Kneeling, River closed her eyes and said one last goodbye "I'll love you for the rest of my life; I'll take care of our children; I'll make you proud; I love you James, goodbye" and with a heavy heart and so much sadness she could hardly breathe River Sully and her family walked away from the grave of the only man she'd ever loved, the father of her children, her best friend and husband.
Less than a month later River was going through James' papers when she came across a letter he had written and saved, smiling she thought of all the times she'd made fun of him because he was so organized. Oh, how she missed him. The smile faded as River read the letter addressed to Colorado Springs and a Mr. Sully, the letter telling him that he had a sister whom he didn't know existed; a letter she never knew existed. "He found him" she whispered to herself, "he found my brother". Sitting there at James' desk in his office, she felt surrounded by him. She saw him standing at the book shelf looking for a reference book, or working at his desk or sitting by the window working on his sermon; she heard him talking about whatever he was researching at the time, or telling her about one of the parishioners, or just poking fun at something silly. It put a smile on her face remembering all the times James would make her laugh when she was in one of her moods, or when he would poke fun at her for being "dangerously serious" as he often told her she was, but the smile didn't last like it did when James was here because she remembered that he would never make her laugh again. In the 3 weeks since she buried her husband River didn't sleep much, she didn't eat much, she didn't smile much and she didn't cry much…but she missed her husband all the time. She got out of bed every morning because her children needed her, she ate everyday because her unborn baby needed food, and she took care of her homestead because it was her home. But every step she took in that house, or the barn or coral she thought of James and missed him so much more. Living in the house which her husband built for her, where they made plans for the children they would have without him was slowly driving her mad….she had to go.
River gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl three months later, and named her James Katherine after her father. One month after that she closed up the house, got in her wagon with her 3 children and left the Double S, stopping only once to say goodbye but never looking back.
Chapter 1
"Mama, are we getting on another train" William asked, "no son, we're here…." River said in a sad voice staring out the window"….we're home". "Excuse me, could you tell me where I could buy a wagon?" River asked the post master, a tall lanky man with short dark brown hair. "Yes ma'am, you could buy one from the blacksmith just down the street there" Horace responded, "Could I leave our bags here for a few minutes?" at his nod the Sully family went to get their wagon. Had Horace not been pre-occupied with things going on in his own life he might have noticed that the woman didn't introduce herself, or that her son looked amazingly like a certain mountain man, had he even looked at the woman properly Horace would have noticed that she had a striking resemblance to a friend of his.
"Thanks for taking care o' the homestead while we're away, Robert E….see ya" Sully said on his way out of the livery, just as River walked in from the other side "Good evening" she said shifting the baby from one shoulder to the other "I'd like to buy a wagon and horse, please", "sure thing ma'am" Robert E said as he looked at the woman "I've got a wagon right over here and some good wagon horses that you could look at" then he looked at the children and froze, the girl was half asleep and almost tangled in her mothers skirts but it was the boy who got Robert E's attention, he had curly light brown hair wore a dark suit with a blue shirt and was also leaning against his mother. He looked like any other little boy who had been traveling for some time, except Robert E had seen those eyes and that face before, had seen them a few minutes ago in fact. Catching himself staring at the boy and then noticing the woman looking at him Robert E shook himself mentally and told himself he was crazy, he showed River the wagon and then the horses, sold her one of each attached the horse to the wagon and offered to collect her things from the train station while her and the children got something to eat at the café. Although River declined getting anything to eat because the children were already tired and all they wanted was to get into a warm bed, she did accept Robert E's kindness and waited at the livery while he went to the train station. By the time Robert E returned with the bags loaded into the back of the wagon all the children had fallen asleep, he helped them all get settled into the wagon. "Thank you Mr.?" holding out her hand, "Robert E ma'am" he said shaking her hand, "I'm River, it was a pleasure meeting you…..Robert E" she said with a friendly smile on her face, "so where you folks headed? There's a storm coming" Robert E asked as he helped her into the wagon "I bought the old McGovern place and had it fixed up for us about a month ago", "yes ma'am I remember that, sold some tools to the men who fixed up the place they were pretty secretive about the new owner and folks around here spent a lot of time trying to find out who bought the place" he said. River smiled "they had no idea who bought the place all they knew was that it needed to be rebuilt in a timely manner because the family who owned it needed to move in soon, this being a small town means that everybody knows everybody doesn't it?" Robert E looked at this beautiful stranger and said "we all know each other, yes" River looked around and said goodnight to Robert E, then she clicked her tongue and got the horse moving. As Robert E watched the wagon roll out of town he thought of the little boy who looked so much like his best friend and the woman with the sad blue/green eyes, and wondered at the adventure this new family would bring to his sleepy little town.
Chapter 2
River sat rocking the baby watching William teach River Jr. to play chess, this was the most peaceful she'd felt in a long time. It had been a month since she'd moved to Colorado Springs, her and the children had transformed the land they'd moved onto into a homestead they all loved. It still wasn't easy waking up every morning without her James, but every day it got easier, and she saw his face in Jamie every time she looked at her. William and River Jr. favored their mother completely with William having none of his fathers features and River Jr. being a younger version of her mother they both had curly light brown hair and one blue eye\one green eye, Jaime on the other hand was blond with green eyes just as her father had been. River Jr. even at her young age had her mothers mannerisms she tended to be standoffish at times, shy and clingy at times and she could be incredibly affectionate and cuddly at other times. While William had his fathers attitude towards most things, he fiercely wanted to protect his mother and sisters from any more hurt, he took his job as oldest and big brother seriously and he tried his best not to aggravate his mother, which didn't always work since he was still quite young and very prone to mischief. Jaime was simply the sweetest baby, she didn't cry unless something was wrong and was content to be in her mother arms.
River knew moving to a new place would be hard and she was prepared to weather the storm, the children liked it here and so did she. With William being too young to really help with the heavy chores and River having her hands full with a toddler and a baby she hired a neighbor boy to do a lot of the heavy lifting. River had taken the children to town that first week, they had walked the entire length of the town with no one really paying them any attention. Then they stopped in the mercantile to pick up supplies for the homestead before leaving town, once her shopping was done and River was about to pay, the owner of the store said "you been around here before?", River looked at him and shook her head "no sir, this is our first time in Colorado Springs" he kept staring at her so she asked "why?". The storekeeper said "you just look real familiar is all, I feel like I've seen your boy there before too…..what's your name miss?", River had tried her best not to tell people her entire name before she was ready to deal with someone in this small town telling her brother that she was here, she hadn't even told him she was coming, she was ready now. "River Sully" she said and looked straight into the shopkeepers eyes, Mr. Bray couldn't keep the shock from his face if he wanted too, had she really said…."your name's Sully?" he asked in amazement. "Yes sir" River could tell by the way the man was looking at her that he had to know her brother, "these are my children, William, River Jr. and this is Jaime" she introduced her children to the man, William held out his hand "nice to meet you sir" as the man took Williams small hand in his own he really looked at the boy for the first time and was struck by how much he looked like Sully. Mr. Bray looked at River again and asked who she was, and with a smile on her face River replied "River Sully" she then paid the bill, ushered River Jr. and William to the wagon and set off for their new home.
"River you can't move the knight that way, it moves like this" William said showing his sister how to move the knight, "no! you can't do that…MAMA! She's not listening to me again" he took the knight off the board completely when River Jr. tried to make the same move again, "gimme dat!!!" River Jr. yelled and lunged at her brother. As the children ran around the porch laughing and chasing each other River watched them with a smile on her face, she couldn't believe how much William had changed in the 8 months since his father had died. He was more of a boy again, still serious and overly protective of his mother and sisters but he smiled now, genuine smiles and he teased his sister and played with her. He wasn't reserved, moody and clingy as he had been after the funeral, he was slowly getting back to the boy he had been before the tragedy. River Jr. was 3, and too young to understand that her papa was dead and not coming back, she still called for him at night, a call that broke her mothers heart every time. Her babies were growing nicely.
Chapter 3
Jackson St. James heard talk about the new family in town and knew as sheriff he needed to introduce himself, but he always seemed to miss them so he decided to pay the old McGovern homestead a visit. The first thing he noticed was that there were flowers planted by the fence, that the house was freshly painted, the windows showed curtains inside and there were toys on the front porch. The McGovern place had been un-occupied for a couple of years now and the last time Jack had been out here was when the men were hired to fix the place up for the new inhabitants, the place looked completely different now. It looked like a home. Just as Jack was about to knock on the front door he heard behind him, "can I help you?" and he turned to stare into the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen. She had one blue eye and one green eye, full pink lips, long brown hair and she was tall, he'd say she was about 5'10 to his 6'4. "Jackson St. James ma'am, Sheriff St. James" he said, "a pleasure to meet you Sheriff, River Sully" River shook his hand. "I wanted to come by and introduce myself to you and your husband and make sure everything is alright for you out here" the corner of Rivers mouth went up at the Sheriffs words "sorry Sheriff but there is no husband, he died almost 9 months ago" her words were matter of fact, "I'm so sorry ma'am, is there anything you need any help with" he asked out of kindness and knowing how hard it must be for a woman alone to live this far away from town. Suddenly Jack noticed movement behind the woman, there was a little girl no older than 3, he guessed, standing in the doorway of the barn staring at him with the same eyes as the woman, this had to be her daughter. Jack knew there were children because Robert E had mentioned it, but Jack liked to investigate things for himself so he didn't ask any other questions of the blacksmith except where the woman was living. Following his eye movement River turned and saw that River Jr. had joined them, holding out her hand to her daughter River said "Sheriff this is my daughter River, River this is Sheriff St. James" Jack looked at the little girl and smiled "hello River" and held out his hand, River Jr. looked at Jacks hand and then at her mother and put her arms up to be picked up, River complied and said "sorry she's having a shy day". "Who's this?" Jack asked as he watched a young boy walk from the barn to River, "William Sully, sir" he said and shook Jacks hand before planting himself in front of his mother and leaning into her skirt, "so, how many of you are there?" Jack asked with a smile, River smiled back and said "only one more and she's sleeping at the moment, her name is Jaime….so Sheriff you've met my family and you've seen that we're alright out here, is there anything else we can do for you?" Jack looked at the boy obviously protecting his mother, the girl with her arms wrapped tight around Rivers neck and the woman who was without any doubt the head of this family and said "no ma'am looks like you've got things under control here, I'll be leaving but I'll stop by next week to check on things…" "Sheriff that really isn't necessary…"Jack stopped her "no ma'am it is" with a tip of his hat he got on his horse and with one backwards glance at the woman Jack rode off.
Chapter 4
Jackson St. James had been Sheriff of Colorado Springs for a little over a year now, he'd gotten the job when he'd broken up a bar fight, stopped a robbery and shot a horse thief all in his first month of being in town. He'd heard somewhere that this was a nice peaceful little town and that's all he'd wanted, somewhere he could plant some flowers, marry a nice girl and settle down. After all his years of bounty hunting Jackson had had enough of traveling, looking over his shoulder, visiting saloons, shooting criminals, eating cold slop, sleeping in uncomfortable beds in places he couldn't remember and wishing he could meet the woman of his dreams and lay in her arms every night. When the town council offered him the job of sheriff Jack took it so he'd have something to do, something to fill up his days, now he couldn't imagine trusting his town to anyone else.
Being a bounty hunter was a choice Jack made a long time ago, he was 16 years old, trained to use a gun, he had his horse and he was smart, he had all the skills needed to be a good bounty hunter. Jack was a great bounty hunter. He had tracked down over a thousands criminals and had a reputation for bringing in his bounty alive, he also had a reputation for investigating on his own and causing trouble if an innocent man was being hunted. This reputation for being a trouble maker is what got him retired from bounty hunting, it's also what brought him to Colorado Springs. Jack left home 3 days after his mother was buried, he buried his father about 3 months before that. His parents were good people who worked hard and loved harder, when his father died of the gripe he watched his mother slowly give up on life, she went to sleep one night and never woke up. After burying both his parents Jack packed some things, strapped his gun to his hip, got on his horse and went in search of a name for himself and a place to call home. That was almost 15 years ago, he's made a name for himself now and he's found a place to call home all he's been looking for is a woman to marry and have some babies with. Settling in Colorado Springs Jack thought he'd have no problems falling in love with one of the lovely ladies in this town, he was wrong. He'd met almost all the single women in and around town, he'd even found some of them quite pretty, but none of them made him want to take a second look. None of them made him want to come back for more.
Chapter 5
Jack had some rounds to make outside of town, so at the end of every week he'd pass by the new Sully homestead. When he first came back to check on her River thought he might be crazy, but he'd mended the fence then with a smile on his face he'd said "see you next week Miss. River" and rode off. He came back every Friday from then on, fixing little things in the yard and barn that he could see, making sure they had enough wood chopped, he did little things to make the outside of the house look nicer and be more comfortable for the family and in return River offered him hot coco, or baked him cookies to take home, one Friday she asked him to join them for dinner and he had accepted but then a stagecoach was robbed and he had to work. River didn't understand why the Sheriff felt he needed to take care of them, but she secretly enjoyed seeing him every week, she thought he was handsome and smart and very gentle with her children. Jack knew basically nothing about River except that she was there with her children and her husband was dead, he'd never asked any questions and it made River nervous waiting for the day when he would.
"Mama, is Jack coming by today?" Jack had put up a porch swing for them and it was fast becoming River Jr.s' favorite place to be, "I suppose so sweetheart, since the good Sheriff has appointed himself our guardian" River told her daughter with a smile, she sat down next to River Jr. with Jaime in her lap and pushed off with her foot. River saw Jack coming before he got to the road to the house, he dismounted, tied his horse to the fence and turned in time to catch River Jr. as she launched herself into his arms ready for her weekly hug and chat session with Jack. Jack loved these days with the sweet little girl, she chatted about all the things that had happened to her that week then asked him questions until his chore was done and he had to say goodnight. River had taken a serious liking to Jack, she talked about him when he wasn't there and shadowed him when he was, River thought it was funny how much her some-timish daughter seemed to attach herself to the nice sheriff, they made an interesting pair; the quiet 6 foot tall man and the chatty 3 foot tall girl.
Jack carried River Jr. to the house and was preparing to tell the Sully family goodnight when her mother stopped him in his tracks, "would you like to come to dinner tomorrow?" shifting Jaime on her hip River held her breath waiting for Jacks answer. She'd never invited him to dinner on a Saturday night, River had never made an attempt to see Jack when he wasn't already at her homestead, so this was a surprise to everyone including River and especially to Jack. All Jack could do was stare, he'd been invited to dinner before but couldn't make it and he never thought he'd get a second chance, he must have been staring for a while because River said "it's ok Jackson, if you don't want to come…" Jack mentally shook himself and said "what time is dinner?" River blinked "um 6" Jack smiled, kissed Jaimes' cheek and said "I'll be here at 4, gotta finish your chicken coop and I might as well do it tomorrow" River started to speak but stopped when Jack put on his hat turned towards his horse, stopped, turned back and with a smile she'd never seen before said "good night River, I'll see you tomorrow" he got on his horse, tipped his hat at the 2 ladies watching him from the front porch and rode off feeling lighter than he'd ever felt. As River and Jaime watched him ride off, River said "James, that man is going to be trouble" she then kissed her baby and with one last look at the road, River smiled "big trouble" and went inside.