The Sun is about to rise. And we are going to die. At least some of us. Or maybe he just wants to break us. As I look to my left I see pure fear and panic in Risk's eyes. That's the moment I know we are fucked. Like really, really fucked. Daryl is slowly bleeding out on my right side. I want to help him, stop the bleeding at least, but it's too risky. One wrong move and I would experience the bloody kiss of Lucille on my skull. Negan is talking but I can't hear him. All I hear is the white noise in my head. I try to focus, but my body seems to rejects functioning. I think about dying. The thought of dying right now, here, at the feet of Negan should be upsetting. But then again, my body is numb. Getting out of my trance of glaring into nothing, I look at him. He is too close to my comfort as he talks to me.

- Are you deaf, honey? – he points Lucille at me, and that's when I see the hunger in his eyes. Hunger for blood.

- No. – I answer and he laughs.

- What a bunch of shitheads you are! Now tell me, darling, were you there when all of my men were slaughtered? 'Cause you look like a real killer to me.

I can't answer him so I just keep looking at him. Negan seems to think I'm boring, since he leaves me alone with my thoughts again.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,

Catch a tiger by the toe.

If he hollers, let him go

I woke up in my bed, still obnoxious to realise what really happened a week ago. Abraham is dead. I just lied in bed and tried to figure out how to get myself out of this nothingness. But the numbness was here to stay. Glenn is dead. I got up and went to take a shower. I looked into the mirror and wanted to feel something but the only thing I felt was the blank stare of the ghostly figure looking back at me. Abraham and Glenn are dead. I reached next to the tap to get my toothbrush and saw Daryl's next to mine. Oh… After my shower I was thinking about eating something but I knew some of the others were downstairs so I decided to go into the woods and just avoid everyone. Daryl is gone. On my way out I was stopped by Carl but he didn't say anything to me. So I stayed quiet as well and gave him a comforting look. He was angry and wanted revenge. I just wanted to survive and be alone. Alone.

Out in the woods I was peaceful. I could finally think. Not too long ago I thought the Governor was our worst nightmare, and now Negan happened. I wanted to live and I wanted to bring Daryl back. To do that, I had to move on, and focus on Negan. I wanted to hate him with all my heart but as far as survival was concerned…that guy was fascinating. Scary and brutal, but also fascinating. However, I needed to find his weakness. The other night he was too confident with his smug face.

I stayed near Alexandria and walked around in the wood killing a few walkers with the bow I found when I was out on a supply run with Daryl. Then I heard Cars. A lot of them. I was sure Negan was here with his crew to collect the first half of our supplies. He was early. It must be one of his tactics to break in the new ones. For a moment I caught myself thinking about never returning to Alexandria. I mean, I could just leave. I already did that once. But they needed me. And I needed them. Not to mention that it was my chance to get under Negan's skin.

By the time I got back to Alexandria the Saviors were all over the place. They were basically taking everything they could move. As I walked in the middle of the street I spotted Rick, Olivia and Negan in the distance. My plan was to quietly pass by, maybe take a quick look at him and then observe him from afar. I was about to reach them, when I saw Daryl walking out of the storage with the most heart breaking look in his eyes. I stopped. Daryl stopped. And Negan noticed.

- Well, well…what do we have here? Hey Rick, did you try to hide her from me? Fuck, you look so much better without all that shitty blood on your face, darling. – Negan and his smug face again. – What? Cat got your tongue?

I went closer to them, never losing the eye contact with Daryl.

- Negan and the Saviors are here to…

- I know why they are here, Rick. – I said as I looked at him. Rick was desperate. Next to him, Olivia was pale and frightened.

- So she speaks! – shouted Negan with an annoying big grin on his face. – Listen, Rick, I've got a new fucking deal for you. I take this pretty peace of ass back to my camp, and I forget about those missing guns.

Rick looked at me, then at Negan. He was panicking again. Daryl went back to the storage. And Olivia spoke for the first time.

- Maybe I made a mistake with those weapons, but if they are missing we will find them! – She said and Negan seemed to be angry for the first time.

- You, fatty, you just shut the fuck up. – He said and looked at Rick seriously. –Listen, I don't usually hurt women so it's your choice. I wanted to play nice, but you, you goddamn people just don't get the rules. So either you let her go or sweet Olivia will meet Lucille. Oh, and I just realized that I want the guns too.

- I'll go. – I said before Rick could react. – I'll go. Just don't hurt them.

Negan starred at me with his grin appearing again as he put his hand on my shoulder.

- Now that's what I fucking like to hear! Pack your things sweetheart, 'cause your life is about to get so much cooler. – I just nodded and left towards the house I lived in. So this was truly the beginning of the end.