Hmm... Here with a new YuGiOh fic my happy-chans... Hope you enjoy it for I tried a new approach with this one... So yeah, enjoy!

And without further ado...

WE'RE STILL STANDING

chapter 1: Choices

The cotton haired hikari sat silently on the edge of the couch in the lifeless living room of his and Bakura's house. He sat alone like he always did on a Friday night; his routine was the same every week. Bakura went out at around eight with Malik and came back around three or four in the morning, and every time Ryou stayed up even though his darker half had told him hundreds of times not to wait up, he still did. Something inside of him made him stay up, he didn't care about the regular arguments they had about it he had to stay and wait for his Yami, he needed to make sure he came home all right. Ryou did this for the fact that the one night he didn't wait up for Bakura was the one night his dark came home completely drunk. Being the heavy sleeper he is, Ryou didn't hear Bakura come home nor did he hear his spirit trip in the dark hallway and hit his head off of the wall thus rendering him unconscious and leaving him with a quite serious head wound. Ever since that Ryou had sworn never to go to sleep without making sure Bakura was ok, even though his Yami promised him he wouldn't come home drunk. He had kept this promise, but Ryou still and always would worry about his Yami, even if his Yami didn't worry about him.

Chocolate eyes glanced over at the small clock that perched on the television.

"3:30..." Ryou whispered to himself as he began to twist his thumbs round and round one another.

His eyelids began to get heavy as he sat doing nothing, and he desperately wanted to go to sleep as he hadn't been sleeping that well the past few weeks, but he wasn't going to take the risk of something happening to his Yami again.

For a while now, the hikari and spirit had been arguing a lot more than they usually did. Like all people who live together, little habits can get annoying and cause scraps, but never anything too big. But lately, the two had been finding more and more to fight about. Even the slightest thing that Bakura noticed different about Ryou was questioned and every time it ended up in a heated fight, and always leading to neither of them talking to the other and one always sleeping on the couch or not at all.

Ryou sighed to himself as he buried his head in his hands. He hated fighting with his other half; he always had done and always would. The insults and hurtful things they threw at each other were getting worse by the day, both of them digging a little deeper to hurt their other more each time.

The white haired hikari bit his lip lightly as he thought about their last fight. It happened the night before this one, and it was by far their worst that week. Ryou was feeling very depressed about the same thing he always was, and decided to stay out of his Yami's way seen as he looked as if he was in a good mood. The hikari had locked himself away in his old room and began to play his music quite loud. To Ryou, music was a way of leaving everything behind. He could pick a song to suit his mood and the way he was feeling, and then play it. Simply letting the words roll through his thoughts always made him feel a million times better. Ryou was doing just this that night, but failed to realise just how loud he was playing his music and also failed to hear his Yami asking him to turn it down.

After calling his light's name countless times, Bakura was getting annoyed. Sighing to himself the dark reluctantly rolled off of the couch and began to make his way upstairs to Ryou. The dark was planning on yelling at his other half to turn it down and to make sure it didn't happen again, but something stopped him. Something made him stop dead in his tracks and actually listen to what Ryou was listening to. The slow yet heavy beat echoed through out the house, wrapping its emotion around both the white haired teens. Bakura's eyes saddened slightly when he listened to the words of the song, his expression changing when he realised just how depressing the song actually was. More sorrow coming over him when he thought that his hikari was feeling like this. Why hadn't Ryou told him? Why hadn't Bakura noticed the sadness of his other half, but then he remembered Ryou had been locked in his room for hours on end.

Sighing once again Bakura regained his usual 'I don't care for anything but myself' attitude and look before he stepped inside Ryou's room to find his light sitting in the window ledge, tears rolling down his pale cheeks.

The dark looked at Ryou for a second or two, and remained unnoticed as he walked over to the CD Player and clicked the power button, cutting off the sound, the emotion and his lights oblivious thoughts.

Ryou jumped slightly when he realised Bakura was in the room, and instantly started to rub his eyes in an attempt to hide the streaming tears.

"Ryou? What's wrong with you, I've been calling you for ages," Bakura said calmly but sternly, his arms lightly crossed over his toned chest.

"I'm sorry Bakura, I didn't realise it was so loud," Ryou said in a soft voice, looking down to hide his face.

It started calm, but it still made Ryou cringe when he thought about what it ended up in. He refused to tell Bakura why he was so sad, and was still refusing to do so. Bakura had hit Ryou countless times before and the hikari was quite used to it by now. His beatings were slowly starting to get less and less but that night started it all over again. The calm questioning finished in a heated fight, both of the brown-eyed teen's enraged at the other. Shouting and screaming filled the house till the early hours of the morning, that was until Bakura's last drop of self control and patience finally hit the floor, thus leading to the dark cornering the petrified light and whipping him over and over again with his belt.

But what confused Ryou the most was how Bakura was after these arguments. He acted as if nothing had even happened, he could even be sweeter after a fight, hugging his hikari now and then. And a few times the dark had even slept with his other half before he held his light close like they were lovers. But Ryou knew that would never happen, even though he dreamed that one day it would, a bitter thought constantly told him it wouldn't. To Bakura, it was just the pleasure he was looking for, not Ryou.

Ryou sighed heavily as he bit his lip from the thoughts, holding back tears that fought to fall. He sat back slightly, hugging himself for the comfort he yearned so much but never once received.

A sudden bang of the front door snapped Ryou back to reality, as Bakura's presence was made clear as he kicked his shoes off before entering the living room.

"Your awake?" Bakura stated as he fell back down on the chair opposite his light.

"Aren't I always?" Ryou replied with a tiny trace of sarcasm in his voice causing his other halves eyes to narrow slightly.

"Whatever Ryou… Pass me the remote," the Yami ordered, holding out his hand.

"But it's right in front of you," Ryou protested nodding to the remote that was within both of their reaches.

"Tch, I only asked if you could get it for me, isn't that hard Ryou. What else do you do for me?" Bakura said in a cruel but casual tone as he leaned forward about to take the control but his light knocked it from his reach.

"Ryou!" Bakura snapped.

"How can you say that?!" Ryou demanded, hitting his fists down to his sides on the couch.

"Geez Ryou, say what?" Bakura asked, finding his light's sudden mood swing rather amusing.

"Say I don't do anything else for you!"

"And? You don't..." Bakura replied shrugging, keeping his cool and not taking his hikari's yelling to heart.

"Yes I do!" Ryou screamed at his dark, a new spark of anger racing through his veins as he snatched the remote and threw it at the wall with a loud smash.

"Ryou! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Bakura yelled back, his temper finally beginning to fade.

"How Bakura? How can you say I don't do anything for you?! Everything I do has something to do with you! I take all your punishments, your moods, your temper, your bad attitude and your beatings without question and without fighting back! Isn't that enough?!" Ryou shouted back.

Ryou clenched his fists to try and control his anger that continued to bubble and rise to his maximum. He averted his chocolate eyes from Bakura's dark depths and fixed his stare to the floor in an attempt to gain some self control but it didn't work what so ever as he continued to feel the rage build inside of him.

"I've had it with you! First off you can be so caring and kind, close enough to love, making me think you actually LIKE me! For god's sake you take me to bed! But then you go and beat me up because something's pissing you off and I'm the person that's always here so you decide to take it out on me, making me then think you HATE me! You just like playing games with my head! Something's dragging you down; I know it and your getting worse! Why won't you tell me?!" Ryou shouted at the top of his lungs to his Yami.

"What the hell is your problem?! Where did that shit come from?!" Bakura demanded in a stern, strong yell.

Ryou had finally found some calmness inside of him and brought his level of voice back down to its usual, tranquil state. His lashes rose up so his eyes fixed on his darker half.

"I'm not the one with the problem, it's you. Why won't you ever let anyone get close to you? You refuse to talk to me and if we do it's always fighting. Why can't you just tell me what's wrong instead of trying to solve it by running off with Malik every Friday?" Ryou asked with tears in his eyes.

Bakura growled as he got to his feet his eyes locked onto his hikari. He walked over to Ryou and grasped his chin in his hands, forcing their eyes to meet, darkness merging with light.

"I'll sort out my problems how I like Ryou. Deal with it baka. If you don't like it then tough, it's who I am and I'm not changing for some pathetic hikari. I don't fuck with your personal life so don't even try it with mine," and with that said, Bakura pushed Ryou back from him and stormed off upstairs to his room, the door slamming with great force.

Ryou suddenly felt enraged again and he grabbed the nearest pillow, put his face to it and screamed his very loudest. It did erase some of his anger but there was still plenty left. The hikari threw the pillow to the side and grabbed the small vase on the coffee table. He was planning to throw it at the wall but he grasped it with such force, it shattered in his hands.

"Ahh!" Ryou screamed out from the sudden pain and he instantly pulled his hand close to his chest, watching the blood trickle down his palm from the glass that had imbedded itself into his soft skin. The light then absentmindedly squeezed his hand, causing more crimson liquid to flow from the cuts.

Upstairs Bakura was pacing back and forth in his room, his fists clenched in anger. Where had all that emotion come from in Ryou? And why didn't he see it coming? Growling with frustration the Yami ceased his pacing and sat down on the bed. He sighed heavily as he put his head in his hands. Ryou had known all along that there was something bothering him, and all he wanted was for his Yami to tell him. But he couldn't. No way in Ra's name could Bakura even mention a slight hint that he was beginning to fall head over heels for his hikari. Besides, he couldn't even if he wanted to. Loving your hikari was wrong in his mind; it always had been ever since Yugi and Yami had gotten together as lovers. Wrong. Plain wrong to Bakura, but then again when he saw the Pharaoh with his light he saw the up most happiness in both their eyes, and in the way they acted. Both of them always had a smile on their faces no matter what happened, so maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought. No. What was he thinking? The dark sighed with aggravation as he gripped the bed sheets at his side.

"Ryou..." Bakura whispered to himself just as said hikari came into his room, tears rolling down his cheeks as blood dripped from his hand, "...Ryou?!"

"K...Kura..." Ryou stuttered as he held out his hand.

"For Ra's sake Ryou what did you do?!" Bakura asked in a slightly raised and bitter voice.

Ryou didn't answer as his dark took his wrist and pulled him to the bathroom next door to their bedroom and led him inside. Bakura sat his light down on the edge of the bathtub and started to rummage through the small cabinet above the sink looking for a first aid kit, eventually finding it. He then filled the sink with cold water and dampened a cloth.

"Hold you hand out," Bakura ordered in a sigh and Ryou did as told.

The cotton haired Yami then started to very carefully pick out the small shards of glass in his light's hand, after each one, gently dabbing it with the wet cloth. Ryou hissed in pain as each piece was pulled from his skin, and he bit back more tears.

"Sorry, just relax... What did you do anyway?" Bakura asked once he had made sure all the glass was out and the wounds were clean before he started to wrap his hand in bandage.

"I... I grabbed the vase to hard..." Ryou muttered.

"And why was you grabbing the vase in the first place?" the spirit asked as his eyes trailed up to meet Ryou's.

"... To throw it..."

Bakura chuckled with amusement.

"It isn't funny it hurt!" Ryou blurted out and Bakura just shook his head.

"No, it isn't funny that you hurt yourself. But you and your mood swings are very funny," he snickered as he finished with Ryou's hand.

"Tch. Whatever Yami..." Ryou muttered taking back his hand, "... Thanks..."

"Whatever," Bakura replied as he put the kit back into the cabinet, "Now... Get to bed."

Ryou frowned but wasn't in the mood to start another argument. "Fine..." he mumbled in defeat as he stood up and made his way to the bedroom.

Bakura sighed when Ryou left the room and he leaned over the sink with his head low in thought.

"What am I doing..." the darker self muttered quietly as he stared into the water that was now tainted with his light's blood, staining it in a ruby red.
Ryou slowly lay down on his side of the bed, curling up into a tight ball as he thought about what had just happened, but soon realised his thoughts were nothing but confused. Once again his Yami had been so cruel, calling him a pathetic hikari and pushing him away. But just then, he had treated him with such grace and was being so gentle with him as if he cared about his lighter half. But did he? Ryou growled with puzzlement as he rolled over in the bed, burying his face into the pillow and putting his hands on top of his head. Why did his Yami play games with his emotions? When Ryou thinks his Yami actually cares for him the smile that graces his lips is much more than angelic, it's perfect. But then his feelings are thrown right back at him with a violent slap of reality. Maybe Bakura enjoyed seeing this cycle of emotions? Ryou's happy, it backfires, Ryou's depressed... To be honest with himself, the hikari wouldn't at all be surprised if all this were true. But. What about all those times when Bakura had been nice and didn't throw it back in his face? The times such as when the darker half just casually walked up to his light and pulled him into such a loving embrace, and then just as casually as he came, he went back to his usual things. What about times like that? So maybe, just maybe there was still hope. But only maybe.
Back in the bathroom, Bakura was still leaning forward over the sink deep in thoughts. Mentally arguing with himself on what he should do about the way he was feeling. To him, he had only two options. One, totally ignore the desiring feelings in his heart and get on with his life like nothing was different and try and show Ryou that whatever his problem was had been solved. Or two, follow his heart and admit how he really felt about his hikari. But then it struck him, those two options both led into a million and one questions that would only ever be answered if he decided to go with that choice. For example, if he picked the first one Bakura would never know if it could have worked out between him and his beautiful light. And what if Ryou didn't believe that his problem was solved and they continued to fight, each time getting worse. No. Bakura couldn't let that happen. The dark's thoughts then trailed to his other option, tell Ryou. Rejection. What if that happened? What if Ryou didn't feel the same way, and he got shot down by the one person he truly does trust. He could lose his hikari forever. No. Bakura couldn't let that happen either.

"Argh!" Bakura slammed his fists down on the sink from frustration.

What was he going to do? His heart longed for Ryou to be his own, more than just a friend, more than just a hikari. He wanted him to love, and for Ryou to love him back. That would never happen.

"Would it though?" Bakura asked himself in a whisper.

All those times he had hugged his light he never once pulled back. Every time Ryou accepted each embrace with open arms as if he had wanted it. Surely, his light didn't feel the same way he did. Would he? The countless times Bakura had beaten, abused, cursed, and insulted and many more things, must have driven him far, far from his reach.

Then it finally clicked in Bakura's head and his third choice came to mind, a choice he could easily do and cope with. Stay quiet for now, but keep that flicker of hope burning deep within his soul.

Rather long ne.... Heheh, anyway hoped you liked it and the 2nd chapter should be up soon!

R&R

S4K