I do not own La Corda D'oro.
If I could spend every night this way, I'd be the happiest woman on earth.
She's always loved the night sky - it's like a black sheet of velvet sprinkled generously with diamonds, she thinks as she stares up at the sky that night. Ever since she met him, they've somehow become more special to her. She swears the stars are winking back at her when she gazes at them - and he's sitting next to her, arm casually draped around her shoulder, grinning goofily like he always does. And then the fireworks arrive that night - some special occasion that she chose to forget. The fireworks are just like him - full of spark and energy and warm glow. She remembers everything about him at the sight of those golden-red sparks. She recalls clearly that he compared the sight of golden streaks against the dark background to her eyes.
To her eyes.
"Ne, Kaho, don't you think the fireworks are beautiful...?"
She's still looking at the fireworks. The night is chilly - no, it's freezing and any sane person would have chosen to stay bundled up under blankets, sipping hot chocolate. But somehow, she feels warm, and she's not even wearing a jacket - she feels like he's embracing her. She hears four-year-old Kyou calling out to her to come inside - he's such a sweet boy and she wishes he had known his father. What hurts more is his father never knowing his own son - his flesh and blood.
"In a second dear," she calls out. Maybe a few more seconds. An hour. A few hours. She'll never stop craving more time to just think about him.
Sometimes she sinks into the couch and stares out at the starry sky, wishing he was there with her to enjoy it. They would watch the stars as often as possible, often attempting to spot constellations and failing miserably. She cradles a picture of him in her hands and gazes lovingly at the face of the handsome man in the picture - emerald hair framing his face, tanned skin and sharp features, high cheekbones and a smile that she would die to see again. She can almost feel his smile radiating from the picture; she can almost see gentle sparkles in those playful eyes. She can almost feel him come to life...
She never approved of that darned motorcycle to begin with. He liked it for some strange reason and she had to admit, they did share quite a few good time with that rattletrap-of-a-contraption-before their wedding, he would take her out on several thrill rides and on some level, Kahoko did enjoy the smoky atmosphere, the rush, the sounds and the sights, the wind ruffling her hair. And she would cling on to him, telling him to slow down occassoinally.
She remembers their first official date with surprising vividity. After several minutes of embarassaing stammering, he finally managed to spit out a barely coherent confession of love to her. She will admit to thinking his blushing and stuttering are unbeliavably cute and at some point of that particular day, she realised - he's just not the smiling senpai whose music she admires anymore. He's so much more than that and she feels like an idiot for only noticing that after knowing him for so long. He took her out to a carnival that night - she loves carnivals. What with the sounds, the blaring music, the cotton candy and soda and the happy cries of children, why Tsukimori-kun hated them was beyond her comprehensive abilities. He took her on the ferris wheel four times - where he got the money for that still remains a mystery - and on the fourth time, right when they were at the top, he smiled and admitted that she's the queen of his world.
"If only I could live this night again, Kaho-chan..."
Everything was perfect that day - the sun shone its brightest, the birds chirped, a gentle, litling breeze fluttered about. It was the kind of day he lived for. The kind of day he wished he had off so he could strip out of the stiff dress shirts and silk ties he wore to work and put on a pair of comfortable trousers and a t-shirt and enjoy the lovely weather. Or maybe laugh at his wife's clumsiness in the kitchen. It was on one of those beautiful days, everything went wrong.
He hit a car.
And he died.
On the spot.
The only thing she ever regretted was never being with him in his last moments - she was pregnant with Kyou then. She regretted him never holding his son, she regretted him not dying with his trumpet by his side, she regretted him never being able to listen to Gavotte one last time... and above all those - she regretted never being by his side. She let him die alone. All alone. In her minds eye, she sees a mangled body sprawled out on asphalt, limbs bent all the wrong ways. And for days on end, she cried at the thought of the man she loved so dearly slipping away.
She misses him so much, it actually hurts physically - like her heart's been impaled with a half a thousand knives. She wishes - every single moment - that he would return from work, maybe play about with the son he never saw, sit with her by the fireplace like they used to and talk - him constantly chattering about what a slavedriver his boss was, and her giggling at his comments and mock-indignation. Sometimes he'd bring Tsuchiura over for dinner and they'd laugh over thei old school days - and Tsuchiura never fails to make a joke of somesort abut Tsukimori. Sometimes she curls up by the fireplace, her eyes swimming as Kyou sings an off-key rendition of "Mary had a little lamb". He's so much like his father, she thinks. Clouded by "what if I'd dones" and "if he were here with mes", Hihara Kahoko let every starry night and every firework-filled sky go by, lost in thoughts and memories of Hihara Kazuki.
And that's where the story ends. There are so many Len deathfics on this fandom - its actually getting sort of boring to read Hino Kahoko weep and the mention of Ave Maria, although I love KahoLen. I don't really like this pairing much, but I thought I'd give it a try, sooooo I'm srry if this turned out crap xD. And sorry about killing Kazuki off :(.