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DISCLAIMER
I don't own Neopets, and I'm not making any profit from this story, so don't sue me! XP The only thing I claim ownership to is this fic, and my char, Night__FLame.
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The pain I feel...
Why are you reading this? Expecting to find info on me? Too bad.
No one can understand the pain I feel..
What happened that day is only known to me, no one else survived... No one else saw it....
I'm destined to be alone.
That day proved it. I was left alone, not out of choice. An undeserved fate hefted onto my still young shoulders, something I almost couldn't handle. A blow on my heart was dealt, with even a possible blow to my mind, as I almost lost it... I couldn't handle it, this harsh reality that was shoved at me. I was too young to understand, and I couldn't move on.
But eventually I had to leave, forget the pain. I learned how to live without it, adopted a new habit. I look at the claws on my black and blue flamed feet, and the memory rushes back, like a bad dream. Something I want to forget, but can't. The recurring nightmare..
Some would move on with things, and get over it. But it's not something that easily forgotten in my eyes. The memories rush back again, and I look at the ground. I gasp as I almost see the blood. The memory feels so real, I can almost see those around me, hear the screams, feel the wetness of the blood.. Then the screams come again. Suddenly all I hear is the pounding of my heart as my mind rushes, and searches for a solution to the problem. I want the madness to stop, someone to wake me from this dream. But the nightmare never ends, it just keeps replaying in my head. And I'm the only one standing, eyes wide in shock as reality smacks me in the face. I was too young for the harshness, and I couldn't leave for days.
But I look at these paws, flashing again to the past. The blood on these paws, wet against my fur. And I was helpless to stop it. In the end I feel it's all my fault, shouldn't have let it happen. The blood is too much for me, and I'm almost sick, but I suppress it. I tolerate it now, but it's still no stroll through the park.
I've changed since then, instead of arctic blue tones my pelt is now a jet obsidian, marked with blue flames. A bit of a rarity, but I don't fit in with everyone else. Far from it.
You'd think I'd be able to hide it by now, make it seem like it never happened. Just a bad dream to be forgotten.
But if you were the one, then you try handling it. You try learning what death is when you're not even a teen, see how you handle it. Seeing all that blood...the carnage... It's not easy.
But in the end.. I'm still alone. Others have tried to be my companion, but it never works. I'll always be alone.. It's my fate, and I learned it young. Something that can't be changed, it sticks to me like glue.
Sometimes I think about it, ending my existence. And the memory of that day still in my head, a tear rolls down my cheek, and I almost wish it was my own blood. But then I realize that wouldn't help. I'd still be alone. So I live on.
I feel it's my fault, and that fact can't be changed. I don't accept it, I tolerate it. Nothing that bad's happened since then, but I've caused pain to others. I can see it on their face, the sadness in their eyes, and the fear in their hearts that I'm leaving them forever. But I don't have a choice, I'm a loner. Not by choice, but fate.
Not everyone's life is easy, and I know that better than anyone. And I look at my paws again. The memory comes back, like always. And this time I can swear I feel the blood...
DISCLAIMER
I don't own Neopets, and I'm not making any profit from this story, so don't sue me! XP The only thing I claim ownership to is this fic, and my char, Night__FLame.
----------------------------------------
The pain I feel...
Why are you reading this? Expecting to find info on me? Too bad.
No one can understand the pain I feel..
What happened that day is only known to me, no one else survived... No one else saw it....
I'm destined to be alone.
That day proved it. I was left alone, not out of choice. An undeserved fate hefted onto my still young shoulders, something I almost couldn't handle. A blow on my heart was dealt, with even a possible blow to my mind, as I almost lost it... I couldn't handle it, this harsh reality that was shoved at me. I was too young to understand, and I couldn't move on.
But eventually I had to leave, forget the pain. I learned how to live without it, adopted a new habit. I look at the claws on my black and blue flamed feet, and the memory rushes back, like a bad dream. Something I want to forget, but can't. The recurring nightmare..
Some would move on with things, and get over it. But it's not something that easily forgotten in my eyes. The memories rush back again, and I look at the ground. I gasp as I almost see the blood. The memory feels so real, I can almost see those around me, hear the screams, feel the wetness of the blood.. Then the screams come again. Suddenly all I hear is the pounding of my heart as my mind rushes, and searches for a solution to the problem. I want the madness to stop, someone to wake me from this dream. But the nightmare never ends, it just keeps replaying in my head. And I'm the only one standing, eyes wide in shock as reality smacks me in the face. I was too young for the harshness, and I couldn't leave for days.
But I look at these paws, flashing again to the past. The blood on these paws, wet against my fur. And I was helpless to stop it. In the end I feel it's all my fault, shouldn't have let it happen. The blood is too much for me, and I'm almost sick, but I suppress it. I tolerate it now, but it's still no stroll through the park.
I've changed since then, instead of arctic blue tones my pelt is now a jet obsidian, marked with blue flames. A bit of a rarity, but I don't fit in with everyone else. Far from it.
You'd think I'd be able to hide it by now, make it seem like it never happened. Just a bad dream to be forgotten.
But if you were the one, then you try handling it. You try learning what death is when you're not even a teen, see how you handle it. Seeing all that blood...the carnage... It's not easy.
But in the end.. I'm still alone. Others have tried to be my companion, but it never works. I'll always be alone.. It's my fate, and I learned it young. Something that can't be changed, it sticks to me like glue.
Sometimes I think about it, ending my existence. And the memory of that day still in my head, a tear rolls down my cheek, and I almost wish it was my own blood. But then I realize that wouldn't help. I'd still be alone. So I live on.
I feel it's my fault, and that fact can't be changed. I don't accept it, I tolerate it. Nothing that bad's happened since then, but I've caused pain to others. I can see it on their face, the sadness in their eyes, and the fear in their hearts that I'm leaving them forever. But I don't have a choice, I'm a loner. Not by choice, but fate.
Not everyone's life is easy, and I know that better than anyone. And I look at my paws again. The memory comes back, like always. And this time I can swear I feel the blood...