Attention reader: This is my take on what would happen if Shepard waited to romance Liara throughout the trilogy. This is centered around the paragon default Jane Shepard. Also, just a side note, writing this seems appropriate since one of my other fan fictions is if Shepard dies after the events of ME3. If you have any questions regarding this fan fiction, PM me and I will do my best to answer as soon as I can.

I hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. ^_^

-Eddy

Chapter 1: More than Friends

Now that the war has ended, Shepard is left with one thing eating away at her mind: Liara. Throughout the duration of the war, Shepard told herself that she needed to wait to consider her personal feelings. She promised herself that, if she ended up surviving the war, she would tell Liara how she felt about her.

Since they met on Therum, Shepard noticed the start of these feelings filling her heart and mind. But, she wouldn't allow her feelings to get in the way of stopping Saren. Even when Liara confronted her about her own feelings, Shepard couldn't allow herself to be swept away in the storm. Even on Hagalaz, after they had defeated the Shadow Broker, she restrained herself from telling her.

As the end of the war came, Shepard was tempted to tell Liara how she felt, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. If she confessed her feelings to Liara and somehow managed to die, she knew that it would crush Liara more than anything. After all, Liara did lose her once and she saw what came of that. So, since then, they stayed just friends. She needed to focus on the war, so that everything would be peaceful for them—if they had the chance.

As Shepard sits on a porch overlooking the rebuilding of some buildings on Earth, she contemplates on how she will tell Liara about her feelings. But, instead of actual plans to confess, questions flooded her mind with unease. Will she accept them, even though Shepard pushed her away for so long? Perhaps she's already found someone. The thought of Liara having someone special like that sends a cold shiver down her spine. It would be disappointing, but Shepard would understand and support Liara as a friend should.

"What are you thinking about?" A familiar voice asks as they walk from behind Shepard. Quickly, as she's surprised by the sudden greeting, Shepard looks at them as they walk to the empty seat next her. Slowly sits a calm Liara.

"L-Liara." Shepard says, nervously as she looks towards her friend. "I was just watching the construction." She says as lays a hand on her knee to try to relax. Just five months ago, it was so badly burnt from the struggle through the last push to the beacon that the bone had become somewhat brittle. Implants had repaired most of her leg, but she was making a slow recovery. Rehabilitation and therapy, both mental and physical, had helped her more in the long-run. Still, even with her leg almost healed, she has trouble walking without a cane to aid her steps. "It seems like I've gotten more time to myself these days…I'm a little envious."

"I thought you would be happy now that the war is over." Liara says and Shepard gives her a small smile.

"I was honorably discharged…" Shepard sighs as she remembers the meeting with the council. The Alliance relieved her of her duties as Commander, and the council promised to keep her Spectre status in case it was needed in the future. Admiral Hackett even put emphasis on the fact that Shepard needed to recover. When Shepard protested against the whole thing, Hackett reminded her that it wasn't a permanent discharge. To Shepard, the Alliance had become her family—since she lost her parents at a young age on earth. "I'm going to miss it—everything." Shepard says as she remembers Therum, Ilium, and Thessia-among other planets she visited before and throughout the war. She liked traveling and having Liara there with her. "Even you-you're probably planning on going back to Thessia…"

"Not right away, no." Liara says and crosses her legs. "As much as I'd like to help Thessia rebuild, there's still a few things I need to do here on earth."

"Like what?" Shepard asks as she feels her heart beat faster. Whatever it is, she hopes that it will be keeping Liara here for a while longer. She still has yet to confess to her, after all.

"My work has been keeping me busy." She starts and crosses her arms as she contemplates. "My contacts have been increasing steadily ever since the war ended."

"That's not a good thing?" Shepard asks and notices a slow throb in her leg. Even though her leg is healing, it still hurts every now and then. Remembering that her friend and the one she loves is sitting right next her, she doesn't want to show signs of being in pain.

"Contrary to what you may believe, Information Brokers work all day. It's exhausting, but that is how we make a living." Liara says, nearly in protest to what Shepard told her. As Liara continues rambling about her work, Shepard quietly listens. Liara was gaining contacts on Earth to not only learn about the culture of humans, but as a way to keep track of the rebuilding process. She talked about the news and how it compared to the information she had. It surprised Shepard at how little "true" information was circulating the galaxy. It was also intriguing to know that the galaxy's alien races had become interested in humanity, now that they have a human to thank as the savior of the galaxy. And, she was relieved to hear exactly how many people survived the war.

As the talk becomes minutes long, Shepard feels the familiar burn in her leg. "Alright, alright." Shepard says as she notices the sun setting around the buildings surrounding the apartment. The air has become colder, making it possible for Shepard to see her breath in the air in front of her. "Can we continue this inside? It's freezing." Shepard says and Liara smiles. Through the coldness in the air, her smile warms Shepard's heart.

"Yes." Liara says as Shepard slowly stands up. Before standing up all the way, Shepard grips onto the handle of a cane. As her weight shifts onto her once injured leg, she can't help but to break a sweat as she tries to keep her composure. "Are you all right?" Liara asks as Shepard immediately avoids her gaze. Then, she starts walking back into the apartment as if avoiding answering the question. "Shepard?"

"I'll be fine." Shepard reassures her as she guides her into the living room. Liara watches silently as Shepard struggles to walk steadily, limping with each step. A sight that made her realize how strong Shepard was trying to be. "Thank you for staying with me all this time. Even though you're busy with work, you still manage to make time for me…"

"It's not a problem." Liara says as she helps Shepard sit on the couch. "You're a very special friend to me, Shepard."

Shepard's heart starts beating even faster as she feels a familiar warmth on her cheeks. All she could think about was how much she wanted to say, "I don't know what I'd do without you". Instead, she just silently enjoys her time with her.

Then, after seeing Shepard settled on the couch, Liara sits on a couch across from her. Her gaze tells Shepard that she's going to ask about the hospital again—a touchy subject, considering that she doesn't want Liara to see her vulnerable. "How is your leg doing?" Liara asks, blunt and curious.

Shepard folds her hands together. She starts to think about what the doctor had told her during her last visit to the hospital. The bones were healing just fine, but her muscles weren't keeping up. She was going to need a lot more rehabilitation than originally planned. More than physical therapy, however, she needed a psychologist for all of the mental trauma she struggled through during the war. Losing so many people had taken a toll on her. "It's getting better, actually." Shepard says, hopeful, but essentially avoiding telling the full truth. "The bones are almost healed, and the doctor says I'll make a full recovery—eventually."

"I see." Liara says, obviously skeptical. "What about your meetings with the psychiatrist?" She asks and Shepard starts twirling her thumbs in nervousness.

After the war ended, and Shepard was released from the hospital—under the supervision of Liara, of course—she struggled with recurring nightmares about the lives lost during the war. Instead of the voices only calling her name, the voices were pleading to be saved. For the four months she's had to work with the doctor, she's been taking anti-anxiety medication, but not until just recently. After months of refusing to take anything to help, the doctor insisted on treating her with medication—since it has gotten that bad. Without the aid of the medication, Shepard has nightmares that are so frightening that she would often try to avoid falling asleep, then leave her breathless when she would wake up a few hours later. "I'm doing well, Liara." Shepard says with a shy smile. "You worry too much." Shepard says, trying desperately not to get into anything that might depress Liara.

"You're doing it again." Liara says and Shepard slowly averts her eyes. "Shepard, you can tell me."

"I've…started taking some medication." Shepard says and looks down at her hands, still held together. "It's only been a couple of days since I started taking them, though." She continues and remembers the doctor giving her the medication two weeks prior.

"Shepard…" Liara says and pauses. She notices Shepard blushing in embarrassment. It was something that she only just noticed about Shepard. How vulnerable she really is. This made Liara happy, as it reminded her that Shepard thinks about other matters, that have nothing to do with the war, than she thought. "…your appointment was two weeks ago. Why would you wait to take them?"

"Truthfully…" Shepard says and sighs as she slowly looks back to Liara. It seems like Liara is worried about her. Just like always, Shepard thought. Then, she laughs to herself. "It's so stupid." Shepard breaths as she gives a sarcastic smile. "I guess, for once…I'm scared." She says and looks away as she bites her slightly quivering lip. "I can hunt down the galaxy's major bad guys; Sovereign, the Collectors, the Reapers—hell, I even died before…but I'm terrified of having to take a damn pill every day." Shepard says and sighs nervously. "Sorry. Soldiers are supposed to be strong, but…"

"You're not a soldier anymore." Liara says. Her words surprise Shepard, causing her to quickly look at Liara. "If 'being strong' means hiding your feelings away, then you don't need to be strong anymore." She says and smiles warmly. "I'm here for you." She adds and Shepard smiles back.

"Maybe you're right." Shepard says and relaxes her hands into her lap. "Thank you, Liara."

"Anytime." Liara says calmly. Then, a sudden chime rings throughout the apartment. A doorbell. "I'll get it." Liara says and Shepard raises a hand to tell her 'no'.

"No. Let me get it this time." Shepard says and tries to stand up. Gravity takes her by surprise the first try, sending her back into her seat. Then, as she notices Shepard having a hard time, Liara helps Shepard to stand up. "Thanks." Shepard says once she makes it all the way up and grabs her cane. "The doctor said to try walking a bit more. You know, rehab stuff." She says and starts heading to the door. Liara silently watches as Shepard walks slightly faster than usual. She's still limping, but without having to stop to rest. A reminder of the progress she's made so far.

When Shepard reaches the door, she slowly pulls it open—just enough to see who was standing behind it. Standing with what looks like a bottle of wine, Garrus looks surprised to see Shepard. "Shepard. I wasn't expecting you to be up and walking around." He says and Shepard slowly opens the door.

"Garrus. It's good to see you." Shepard says with a smile, then silently gestures for him to walk in. "I've been practicing walking on my own again."

"So soon? Are you sure that's wise?" Garrus asks as he walks inside. Shepard slowly closes the door, while letting out an exhausted laugh. "Though, it wouldn't be the first time I've seen you stumble on your own two feet."

Liara silently watches as Shepard makes a careful stride to follow Garrus into the living room. She knew that Shepard was putting on a brave face for her friend. Just as she always did during the war. "What brings you here, Garrus?" Liara asks and Garrus laughs slightly.

"I thought I'd come share a drink with two of my good friends." Garrus says as he faces her.

"Just try not to get too drunk, okay?" Shepard says with a grin. Even knowing that Garrus can hold his liquor better than she can.

"As if I could." Garrus responds immediately. "You should watch your own self, Shepard. The last time you drank, it didn't take much to make you tipsy." He says, remembering the party on the Citadel. Then, as he nervously clears his throat, he turns to face Liara. "Liara, if you don't mind, may I talk to you? In private." He says and Shepard smiles at Liara—giving her the 'go ahead'.

"Okay." Liara says and Garrus hands Shepard the bottle. "We'll just be outside on the porch, Shepard." She continues as Shepard grabs the bottle.

"I'll be here setting the table. How about a quick game of cards when you're done?" Shepard says and Liara smiles as Garrus groans. Shepard smiles slyly at the sight of the unamused Garrus. "Afraid you might lose again, Vakarian?" She makes it obvious that she's mocking him. He looks at Liara, who seems to be amused at the scene, and groans as he looks back at Shepard with confidence.

"Get the cards. You're on, Shepard." Garrus accepts the challenge. "Careful, though. My finesse for skillian poker has improved since our last match."

"We'll see about that." Shepard says as she watches her friends walk onto the porch behind them. Just as she sees the door close behind them, Shepard slowly makes her way into the kitchen. On one side of the kitchen was an open space with a small round table that had three chairs surrounding it at the room's center. On the other side were the cupboards and countertops that lead to a sink, a dishwasher, more counter space, and then the refrigerator. Although small, this kitchen was the perfect size for just one person to get around in. While Shepard concentrates on getting the drinking glasses, she can hear talking from outside.

"You haven't thought of…have you?" Shepard hears Garrus say. Whatever she can make out, at least.

"No…means a lot to me, Garrus, but I don't know…" Liara's voice says and Shepard begins to tune her out as she gathers the drinking glasses. "…hasn't said anything, yet." She continues.

All Shepard can think about is trying to not focus in on the conversation. Eavesdropping on her friends doesn't seem like a good idea. But, it seems her ears have a mind of their own. "…had eyes for someone else…" Garrus says. Shepard rests her cane against the counter to support another glass in her arms and shuffles the glasses into one arm. Holding one in her hand with two in between her arm and her chest.

"…but…is someone I love." Liara says and Shepard freezes. Liara loves someone, or is in-love with someone. Either way, it seems Liara has moved on and found someone after all. Shepard sighs as she feels a slight burn in her eyes.

"It's good that we have alcohol, then." Shepard says to herself, not letting a single tear escape her eyes. It was surprising to know that Liara has someone, but now at least Shepard can support her. As her friend.

As she bends over to grab her cane, Shepard hears Garrus laugh. "I…wouldn't…so secretive." He says as Shepard starts walking to the table. She's walking slowly, but the pain in her leg is steadily becoming more intense with each step she takes.

When she finally reaches the table, she carefully sets the drinking glasses down. While Liara has been away to work, Shepard has been practicing placing these glasses down. She didn't want to 'screw things up' for the dinner date she was going to plan for her and Liara. It was going to be the night she was going to confess her love. But, that doesn't matter now. Instead of a romantic dinner date, she will just have to settle for a friendly dinner date. At least we'll have some time together before she leaves, she thought.

After setting the cups down, she grabs her cane again. Then, she makes her way to one of the rooms to get the cards. As she walks, the pain in her leg becomes so intense that she loses her footing. With a slight gasp from the surprise, and a groan from being in pain, she grabs onto the wall; while also dropping her cane onto the hard wood below. "Damnit!" She protests as she tries to stand, but can't. Slowly, she allows herself to drop to the floor—submitting to the pain.

Moments pass as Shepard stays sitting on the floor. She wants to try standing on her own, but she knows what the outcome will be—falling again. So, she patiently waits for her friends to return. "Not even strong enough to get a damn deck of cards…" She says to herself, frustrated.

"Shepard?" Liara's voice calls, as if searching for Shepard.

"Over here…" Shepard answers with a tired sigh.

"Goddess!" Liara breathes as she notices Shepard sitting against a wall in the hallway. Garrus slowly lets out a laugh as he sees Shepard in her unexpected state. "What happened?" Liara says as she walks to her.

"I tripped. No big deal." Shepard says as Liara and Garrus help her stand.

"When I said that I've seen you stumble, I never meant it literally...but-" Garrus jokes and Shepard lets out a quiet laugh.

"I was just on my way to get the cards." She says as Liara hands her the handle of the cane. Then, as she lets go of her friends' aid, she turns to walk into the room. "I can do this much…" Shepard says as she slowly makes her way into the room. Silently, Liara follows close behind her. As Shepard enters the room, she turns on the light. Even though she made sure to spend as much time as she could with Shepard, this was the first time Liara had seen the room lit.

The room is surprisingly clean and tidy. It looks as if Shepard has made a conscious effort to clean every day. Then, after carefully looking over everything, Liara puts a hand to her mouth in shock as she sees a small trash can nearly full of pill bottles. With the room's light shining brightly, she could tell that these bottles were unopened. It was obvious that Shepard wasn't taking any medication at all, and was long overdue to start taking something. "Shepard." Liara says sharply as she lowers a hand to her hip, ready to scold her friend for lying to her.

"Yes?" Shepard asks, oblivious to what Liara had just discovered, as she reaches a table with notebooks and novels stacked neatly—obviously with an intended purpose for being there. One book was titled, "How to live with PTSD". However, it looked as if it had never been opened. Shepard silently reaches over the books and grabs a box of cards, as if she hadn't seen the books at all. "The room's a mess. Sorry. I didn't have the time to clean today." Shepard says as she turns to face Liara, who is still in shock. "It's that bad?"

"You lied to me." Liara says and plucks a pill bottle out of the trash. Then, Shepard raises an ashamed hand to her own forehead. "You're not taking anything. Are you?"

"Liara…" Shepard says and sighs. "I'm sorry, and I promise that I will start taking them tomorrow." She says and slowly walks up to Liara. When she finally reaches her, she takes the pill bottle from Liara's hand. Then, she reads the label. These are the pills that the psychiatrist prescribed her—two weeks ago. She needs two a day for three days, then one every other day following. After reading the label, Shepard sets the bottle of pills down on a nearby dresser. Liara crosses her arms, as if about to argue that Shepard needs to take it sooner. "Okay…I'll take one later." She says and looks at Liara. "We shouldn't keep Garrus waiting." Shepard says as she starts making her way to the door. Liara stops her.

"There's something you're not telling me." Liara says as she blocks the doorway.

"There is, but…" Shepard says and gives a sarcastic smile. "Now probably isn't the best time."

"Shepard." Liara says strongly, as if telling Shepard that she was caught in the act.

"Fine…I'd like Garrus to hear it, too." Shepard says and Liara allows Shepard to walk, while helping her.

When they get to the table, Liara helps Shepard sit down. "Thank you." She says as she smiles at Liara, who still looks unamused and very concerned.

"Okay, I think you've just stepped on a land mine, Shepard." Garrus says as he notices Liara's less than amused glare at Shepard.

"There's something…you both should know…" Shepard says and looks down at the deck of cards.

"Oh, boy. This can't be good." Garrus murmurs as he notices the distress in his friend's face.

"About my…mental health…" Shepard struggles to say and feels the sudden warmth of a hand. It was Liara's hand. "The psychiatrist suggested that I talk to my close friends…" She continues as she thinks back to the meetings with the doctor. Every time she would talk about the lives lost during the war, it would end in silence. Shepard saw the need to clean her living space as, not only to keep a good appearance, it was a way to distract herself. Cleaning the house every day, even if not needed, was a means of escaping reality. She had the books, but couldn't read them. She had the medicine, but couldn't take it. Even the notebooks intended to vent her feelings and record her dreams were left unused.

Seeing his friend in the state of mind she is in, Garrus starts pouring the wine. "Perhaps this can help you get out whatever you need to say." He says and Shepard looks up at him. She smiles as if she wasn't about to cry. "We're here for you, Shepard."

"Thank you." Shepard says as she looks calm.

But, Liara knew that she was holding back. They still shared a connection that surpassed friendship. After receiving the cipher on Feros, Liara started joining their minds to stop Saren. And again after Virmire. Deep down, she knew Shepard was trying to be strong for the crew and she could tell as the war went on that Shepard was struggling to keep her emotions in check. Slowly, as she thinks about her friend, she feels Shepard slide her hand away. It was surprising, but she allowed it. Shepard slowly takes the deck of cards out of the package and begins to shuffle them.

There was something else Shepard was hiding, but Liara couldn't quite make a clear connection to anything. So, she silently watches as Shepard and Garrus joke about nonsense. The way Shepard pretends to be happy in front of her friends makes Liara feel the familiar pull of anxiousness numbing her body. Something was eating away at her friend, and she could feel it.

Whatever was troubling Shepard, Liara resolved to figure out what it was. After all, she cares about Shepard. As more than friends.