Hi everyone! This is my second fanfiction, and by the looks of it it's going to be long one! Don't let that put you off! After taking almost a three year break from writing anything Fanfiction while being at university I've got back on the horse and discovered the wonderful pairing of Charlie and Harry.
The story takes place after the war and follows Harry as he deals with the guilt that he still carries from the war, the unresolved relationship that he's left with Ginny, the new discoveries that he begins to make about himself and the underlining danger that he seems to carry with him as he tries to start a new relaxed life in the Muggle world. Hopefully full of love, tears and probably slash in later chapters so you have been warned!
Warning: Like I mentioned there will be eventual male/male relationships. Slight Molly, Ginny and Ron bashing, not heaps just enough to keep it interesting. One very grief stricken George Weasley. I'll say sorry already for that one! :(
Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling, if I were then a lot of people would still be alive. It took all my strength to keep Sirius dead as my favorite pairing has to be Remus/Sirius! Anyway, I've borrowed these characters to do my bidding and play out this nice little tale. Enjoy!
Chapter One. The Funeral. June 1998
It had been just under a month since Voldemort had fallen, Harry had spent most of his time attending funerals, various press Conferences, interviews and had spoken to hundreds of different people. They all wanted to know what his plans for the future were, everything from whether or not he was going to marry Ginny Weasley to if he wanted to become the new minister of magic!? The questions were ridiculous, a few had even asked if he was going to carry on Dumbledores Army. Which was ridiculous in itself.
Today was the last funeral of the war, and it was going to be the toughest. It was Fred Weasleys, out of all the deaths throughout the war it was this one that he almost felt the most responsible for. Fred and George were part of the order, but they also had their business, they could have avoided the war. Couldn't they? He was stood in his room in Grimmauld place staring at his own reflection. He hadn't properly looked at his face in months. He looked so old, yet still resembled his eleven year old self. From the unkept hair to the hideous glasses he still hadn't got round to changing. Someone cleared their throat from the doorway and he turned and saw Remus standing in the doorway. It had still been a shock to find Remus alive at the end of the war, sobbing uncontrollably in to his dead wifes chest crying about how the wolf had saved him. No one understood how Remus survived, but for Harry it was a bittersweet moment of the war. He hadn't lost his last father figure, he could still have what could resemble a family environment, but at the same time he realized how lost, and how upset the older man was to still be alive.
"Are you okay?" Remus asked looking concerned as he stepped into the room.
"I will be." Harry muttered fixing his tie in the mirror and then turned to Remus. "After today."
"You know you weren't responsible for these deaths Harry. Especially this one, Fred was part of the Order and knew the consequences. As was Ton..." Remus' voice quietened as he mentioned Tonks and Harry found himself taking two large steps to pull Remus into his arms.
"I'm sorry Moony, I'm sorry about all of this!" Harry pleaded into Remus' shoulder. Remus held him tight then stepped back, his hands still on Harry's shoulder.
"Like I said Harry, this wasn't down to you, none of this is your fault." Remus reminded as he knelt slightly to look in Harry's eyes. Harry nodded and looked up into Remus' eyes. Remus squeezed his shoulders and smiled comfortingly. "We'll get through today together. Okay?"
"Okay." Harry mumbled smiling slightly, Remus patted Harry's arms and left the room leaving Harry alone. He looked at his reflection and sighed, he didn't recognise himself anymore. He couldn't remember when or if he'd ever done anything different with his appearance. He still resembled the eleven year old boy he used to be. He needed a change.
Remus and Harry apparated to the Burrow quickly, they'd decided to leave Teddy with Andromeda earlier. They were surrounded by clusters of redheads in black and the press, as this funeral had been marked as the final funeral from the war the press had swarmed the area.
"Have they spotted me yet?" Harry murmured to Remus. Remus chuckled and rubbed his arm comfortingly.
"You knew they'd be here." Remus pointed out and Harry scowled at the crowd of unwanted reporters.
"This is a funeral not a show." Harry grumbled. His face lightened as he caught sight of his best friends and sped up to meet them. He looked back at Remus who smiled calmly.
"Go and see your friends. I'm going to talk to Kingsley." Remus smiled moving across the garden to see the new Minister of Magic. As Remus moved away, Ron and Hermione joined Harry, you could already tell Ron had been crying. His red eyes matched the rest of his family that seemed to be drifting through the crowds of people with matched expressions.
"I'm not even going to ask if you're okay." Harry explained to Ron suddenly and Ron smiled slightly.
"Thanks, its all we've had all morning." Ron murmured, he looked around a spotted Bill who was stuck between two witches who looked as if they were trying to comfort him.
"Is everyone here?" Harry asked and Hermione nodded as she tightened her grip on Ron's hand in comfort.
"Charlie arrived last night, he got George out of his room this morning. Percys been here for months, winding everyone up. But he's getting better." Ron said with a shrug, Harry nodded.
"Hows George doing?" Harry asked softly, he'd scanned the garden but had yet to spot George. Ron shook his head slightly trying to find words to say.
"Vacant." Hermione said softly and Ron nodded. "Like Ron said, Charlie had to get him up today. No one else can talk to him."
"Why Charlie?" Harry asked curiously, Ron shrugged again and Hermione shook her head.
"I think he's the most similar to Fred, Charlie doesn't really treat him any different." Hermione explained. Ron was about to open his mouth when Ginny threw herself into Harry.
"Hey Gin." Harry said softly as he wrapped his arms round her awkwardly, she looked up at him with sad eyes and he smiled softly. Before he could speak he noticed everyone moving round the back of the house for the ceremony. He was going to try and seek out Remus but Ginny was clinging to him tightly.
"Can you sit with me?" She asked softly with wide eyes. Harry inwardly groaned and smiled a very forced smile and nodded.
"Of course." He replied softly. The truth was, that although he felt like family himself sitting amongst a family of crying red heads made him feel uncomfortable and uneasy. He didn't like people crying at the best of time, but a family he loved crying for someone he also loved who had died because of him. It was just too complicated.
He was sat between Ron and Ginny, Hermione sat next to Ron with Bill sat next to Ginny, Harry loosely had hold of Ginny's hand as she sat leaning against him already crying softly. He turned in his seat to try and seek out Remus who was sat between Kingsley and McGonagall, Remus looked up and smiled softly before looking straight ahead. Harry continued to look around and saw Charlie emerge from the house with George on his tail. He saw George follow Charlie blindly and the look on the twins face as he first saw the coffin of his brother. In an instant he had turned almost attempting to bolt back into the house, Charlie caught his brothers arms and seemed to whisper softly into Georges ear making his shoulders sag and turn back towards the crowds. One they were all seated the music suddenly stopped and the service began, and so did the tears.
Harry was winding through people as he'd managed to loose Ginny in the crowds. Every so often he'd be grabbed by someone and the same old questions would be asked.
"What happened with You know who?"
"Why do you still have your scar?"
"What happens to your scar now?"
"What are you going to do?"
"Is there a proposal imminent?"
"Are you going to be an Auror?"
"When do you start Auror training"
"Are you going to be a professor at Hogwarts?"
"Are you the new Defence against the Dark Arts professor?"
"Are you going to be a Quiddich player?"
"Are you joining the Cannons?"
"Are you joining Puddlemere?"
No, no,no NO!
As he'd finished a conversation with a certain witch who was convinced that Ginny and Harry were engaged and he was starting at Puddlemere next season as the new seeker. He let out a long sigh and noticed a clearing up ahead behind a hedge, silently pleading it would be empty he not only found it empty but found a table he could sit at. As he sat down he let out a well warranted groan and rubbed his face with his hands.
"Mind if I join you?" A voice asked. Harry looked up into the sun and saw the face of Charlie Weasley, He smiled slightly before stretching his arms above his head and blinking up into the sun.
"If you promise to not talk about the war or what I'm going to do with my life" Harry mumbled, Charlie was about to speak. " And especially don't talk about your sister"
Charlie sat down next to him, they sat in silence for a few moments. Harry sneaked a glance at Charlie who was gazing up into the sky, his hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers. Harry looked straight ahead of him, taking in his own surroundings.
"So. The weathers nice." Charlie stated. Harry looked back at Charlie who had turned his head slightly with a smirk on his face. Harry tried to mask a smile before snorting and looking ahead. Charlie nudged him slightly and Harry let out a chuckle.
"So you've been hounded all day then?" Charlie asked sitting back on the table they were leaning on. Harry nodded glumly and shook his head.
"Everyone wants to ask something or know what I'm doing. I thought on a day like today they'd leave me alone. It's not about me." He grumbled.
"Yeah, I guess it has been an intense day." Charlie agreed, still smiling softly. Harry frowned realizing exactly what he'd just said, and who he'd said it to and on a day like today. He finally took in Charlies tear stained face and black robes.
"Charlie I'm so sorry! I shouldn't be complaining! You've buried your brother today!" Harry babbled. Charlie chuckled slightly and shook his head.
"Harry it's fine, It's actually nice in a way to have a normal conversation. People I don't even know spot the red hair and assume I need comforting." Charlie explained with an exasperated tone. He gave a sigh and looked ahead.
"But still, I shouldn't sit here moaning, I can be so self absorbed! I'm such an asshole sometimes." Harry exclaimed.
"You're not an asshole." Charlie mumbled as he took a packet of tobacco out of his trouser pocket and began rolling a cigarette. As he licked the paper he felt Harry looking at him and smiled as he finished making the cigarette. "What?"
"You smoke?" Harry asked with an interested tone. Charlie glanced around where they were and put the cigarrete to his lips.
"Yep" he said as he lit the cigarette. "Don't tell the others okay? The last thing I need is mum on my back"
"Yeah I can understand that." Harry agreed with a smile. "Can I try some?"
"Really?" Charlie asked with surprised eyes and Harry nodded, Charlie shrugged and past Harry the cigarette, who took it with frantic hands. "Inhale, hold, then exhale. Go easy."
Harry did what he was told and inhaled, and held, but before he could exhale he was thrown into a coughing fit. Charlie snickered slightly and Harry shoved him slightly.
"I cant belive I gave the boy who lived a cigarette." Charlie chuckled, shaking his head. Harry composed himself quickly and sat back on the table. "You okay?"
"I think I could get used to that." Harry said with a smile. Charlie finished his cigarette silently and was about to talk again when they were interrupted.
"There you two are! Everyone thought you'd both snuck off and left." Ron grumbled as he paced towards the men.
"Just catching up." Charlie said, looking at his brother silently. "How is everyone?"
"Sad." Ron said with a shrug. "George hasn't come out his room. Bills been sat by the door for an hour trying to comfort him. I don't think he knows what to say to him."
"No one does." Charlie mumbled. Stretching his arms he moved off the table quickly. "Ill head in and see them, see if I can help."
"I'll come too." Harry muttered standing up.
"You better go, Ginny's looking for you." Ron said with a faint smile. As they turned and headed back to the wake.
Harry inwardly groaned. The truth of the matter was that he'd been avoiding Ginny since everything had slightly settled down. Ginny thought that since the war was over, and Voldemort had been defeated they could go back to being a couple, or become engaged. Since the war so many engagements had been announced and Remus had informed him of the baby boom which would likely follow like it had in the previous war. He was already expecting Hermione and Ron to get engaged in the next few months. But he really didn't want to settle down, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to be in the wizarding world anymore. Everyone was anxious to see what he was going to do with his life, but in reality he wanted to relax. He wanted to travel, the more he thought about it the more he realized. He didn't want to be the boy who lived anymore. Or even Harry Potter, He just wanted to be Harry.
As he entered the house he noticed how empty the house was, almost everyone had left besides him and Remus, who was sat at the kitchen table talking seriously to Bill. He looked up briefly and smiled and Harry smiled back instantly. He lent against the kitchen counter sipping his drink robotically when he saw Charlie emerge from downstairs with a very exhausted looking George. He'd only seen him once today and that was during the actual funeral, after that he must have gone straight back to his room, he couldn't blame him. As soon as he entered the room he was met with pitying looks and forced smiles. It reminded him of how everyone had treated him after Sirius had died. He followed behind Charlie who quickly put a fire whiskey in his hand with a smile.
"You're surrounded by your family and people who love you, the pity party will just drag on if you don't act like a human now." Charlie muttered in a hushed tone. George pulled a shy smile and downed half his drink to prove a point and stared at his brother who patted him on the back and looked up at Harry with a smile. He was just about to open his mouth when Ginny pushed past him.
"Harry!" She said with what sounded like a mock sob and threw herself into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her instantly and looked back up at Charlie who chuckled before turning back to George who had now finished his drink. Harry looked down at Ginny who looked back up at him with wide eyes.
"Where have you been?" she asked bluntly.
"Just outside, I've been talking to people." Harry mumbled with a shrug, she huffed slightly before looking back at him.
"But I needed to talk to you." Ginny moaned quietly. Harry gulped and looked down at his...what was she? Girlfriend? That didn't sound right.
"I need to talk to you too." Harry said softly. She looked up excitedly and tried to hide a smile.
"Okay!" She said happily. "Why don't you come over next week?"
"Id love to." Harry replied automatically, she grinned before practically skipping away. He lent back against the counter with a sigh and took a gulp of his own whiskey.
"Hot date?" Charlie asked quietly, and Harry looked up to see Charlie standing next to him.
"Fuck off." He grumbled, making Charlie chuckle softly.
"Everything okay Harry?" Remus asked standing up. Harry shook his head slightly.
"Can we go?" Harry asked suddenly, Remus looked up confused and nodded.
"Okay, whats going on." Remus asked as they apparated back to the kitchen, Kreacher was already fussing about making tea.
"I'm going to break up with Ginny" Harry announced dropping into a seat, Remus opened his mouth quickly before sitting down next to him.
"I see, and she doest realize its going in that direction." Remus asked and Harry shook his head.
"I think she thinks I'm going to propose or something." Harry grumbled. He looked at Remus. "I'm thinking of moving away."
"Because of Ginny?" Remus asked with wide eyes.
"Yes, no, well, party because of her. I just don't want to be in the wizarding world at the moment. Its getting to much, all the staring and everything" He muttered bitterly. Remus glanced at his godson and frowned slightly.
"The staring will die down, its still fresh. Everyone wants to meet the man who killed Voldemort, and the people that cant see you want to know what you're doing." Remus explained softly, Harry scowled at the table.
"But I don't know what I'm doing, I'm only Seventeen!" Harry exclaimed, he looked up at Remus who was smiling softly.
"I know that Harry, and I understand completely why you would want to leave." Remus assured.
"You do?" Harry asked cautiously and Remus smiled.
"Of course, I even did it myself. When Sirius was arrested, your parents were gone and Peter was presumed dead I didn't know what to do with myself. Whenever I did go out I was swamped by reporters asking about Sirius and your dad. I hated it, that's how I ended up in Yorkshire." Remus explained with a frown as he remembered the lonely time. Harry leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table.
"So if I went to London." Harry began and Remus' mouth quirked into a smile, I guess London wasn't exactly moving away for Remus. Harry continued. "Muggle London."
"You want to live as a muggle?" Remus asked sitting back in his chair quickly, he let a surprised laugh and smiled, Harry chuckled and rubbed his head with an embarrassed smile.
"Maybe, not a complete muggle, I'd still have a wand. I think I just need to be around people who have no idea who I am. Let them know the real me, instead of the 'Harry Potter' everyone here seems to know and make there own assumptions about." Harry said with a grumble, Remus' brow furrowed as he contemplated the situation and glanced at Harry.
"But Harry, your name is known to muggle borns, and squibs. There's bound to be someone who would recognise you, or your name." Remus contemplated with a concerned frown.
"What if I changed my name? Or my appearance? I was going to do that anyway. I've looked like this since forever." Harry frowned flicking his glasses to prove a point with a smile. Remus looked concerned for a moment before looking at the table vacantly.
"You think I'm loosing my dad." Harry murmured, He'd been worried about telling Remus this. It had been clear with Sirius that he was the last connection to his dad. Remus had to feel that way as well to a certain point, even if it was never as obvious as Sirius.
"In a way yes, but that's completely understandable, you're not your dad. You should be able to express yourself completely." Remus smiled softly and Harry nodded happily. He looked at Harry. "So what would you change your name to?"
"I was thinking Harry Evans." Harry said softly. Remus looked up with wide eyes, Harry looked up and smiled at Remus' reaction he looked as if he mentally shook himself before replying to Harry.
"Evans?" Remus reiterated.
"Yeah, after mum." Harry explained, he saw Remus' continued shocked expression and frowned slightly with worry. He picked at the table self consciously. "Do you think she would have minded?"
Remus coughed slightly and rubbed his eyes quickly in attempt to not let Harry see the pure emotion that he felt of being asked how Lily would have reacted. "Well.." He began, coughing again to hide the croak in his voice. "She would have loved it Harry. In actual fact you almost became Harry Evans, Lily was very close to making James take her name."
"Really?" Harry said with laughter in his voice. Remus too laughed at the memory and began fully explaining the story of how James Potter almost became James Evans.
The talk of Harry's own future became left for another night.
So...What do you think?
Is Harry crazy? How will Ginny cope with the breakup? Will Remus stay supportive? Let me know what you think and keep your eye out for Chapter Two: The Big Change.
Thanks, D.O.M :)