Wow! The response to "Grand Finale" was really overwhelming! I had no idea so many people liked it! As a result of the voting at the end, I have written the story about childbirth, though I plan to write the others as well.
Isn't it so sad when you have a brilliant idea but it sounds better in your head than on paper, or when you're writing it down and it doesn't seem to work? I hope that doesn't happen to this story in that case.
Ashi tried to follow her mother-in-law's advice: Breathe, breathe, take deep breaths, count to ten aloud. She tried to obey, what with said woman right at her side, but her mouth and throat could not comply.
She stared at her round, bloated stomach and separated legs, glistening in sweat while the midwife held her thighs apart. It was hard to breathe, and the pain in her belly, legs, and pelvis were powerful. No years of training and fighting could prepare her for this. She wasn't even meant to do this at any point in her adult life.
Another pain shot through her stomach, as if impaled with a knife, and she threw herself forward, but the Empress kept a firm arm around her chest, holding her back while Ashi screamed and gripped the sheets under her. "It's okay, it's okay, let it out," her mother-in-law whispered. "Take deep breaths, good," she added as her daughter-in-law struggled to do as advised, though it only made her lungs ache and tears fall from her eyes. "This is normal, good."
"It hurts," Ashi whined through tears. "I can't do it anymore…"
The Empress held Ashi's head to her chin and rubbed her short black locks, frizzled from the humidity and sweat. Her kimono was wrinkled and damp, and falling apart around her shoulders and arms. As Ashi panted in the Empress's arms, the latter used her free hand to stroke the baby bump as soothingly as she could. She couldn't believe it was finally happening—she was going to be a grandmother! A grandchild was on the way—but she knew it was all up to Ashi to push out the little prince or princess. "Good, good," she whispered. She slowly lowered Ashi back onto the bed and circled her arms around the area where her grandchild still remained. She kissed and pressed her cheek against the shining stomach. "Does this help?"
Ashi sobbed and pushed back her head until it gave her a headache. She tried to focus on the Empress's comfort...or at least attempts to comfort her. "Oh, I've never felt pain like this before…"
"I know," the Empress whispered, her hand firmly on Ashi's shoulder with her other arm still wrapped around the baby bump. "Here's something you should do: Don't think about the pain, but just think about how you'll feel when it's over. You'll still be tired and a bit sore, but it's worth it when you're holding the baby, a live child—"
To her shock, Ashi began crying. "Oh no, I can't! I'm so scared, I—" She lurched forward and screamed again, struggling to push. The Empress held her back against the bed while Ashi's legs violently shook despite the midwife's assistance. As the Empress stroked her daughter-in-law's dripping bangs, Ashi continued to cry. "I'm so scared! I just know I'm going to be a horrible mother!"
The Empress shushed and embraced her. "Oh, no, no, no, no, don't think like that! You're going to be an excellent one! I can see it when you look at my son, the village children, even to animals! You're going to love your baby more than yourself or your husband—"
"My mother didn't," Ashi sobbed. "She used my sisters and me, she never told us she loved us! She spent our whole lives training us to kill your son and punishing us for even making mistakes…"
No matter how hard Ashi tried, she could never get her mother out of her mind. It got worse from the time she learned she was pregnant. Although she was slightly confident that no traces of her father lingered within her and therefore affect the infant, her heritage was the least of her concerns. Every day, Ashi felt like her mother was still behind her: the hitting, the brutal training, the words...
Are you weak!?
...the most unfocused, always distracted...
Are you weak!?
The memories only increased the pain Ashi felt as her mother's taunts echoed in her memory. "I can't do it! I'm going to be a horrible mother..."
"So learn from her," the Empress said as Ashi struggled to push. She continued even though she knew Ashi wasn't entirely listening. "Think of everything that made you fear your mother, what you wanted her to do instead, and then you'll know what behavior to exhibit toward your own child. Whatever your mother failed to give you, make it up by giving it to your own child, who will matter more than anything else to you. All you will want is what's good and best for the baby. I guarantee it."
Ashi's forehead sank painfully into the Empress's collarbone, her chest quivering. "You will be a better mother than your own ever was," the older woman reassured her. "Regardless of whether it's a son or daughter, you will do everything you can to make sure your child knows your love." She shushed the younger woman and straightened her kimono. "Deep breath, deep breath, good. You're going to be a better mother, I just know it. I know you would never treat anyone like she did you."
She rubbed Ashi's wet back and kissed her temple. "Want to take a break, drink some water?"
"Please," Ashi moaned, not caring how helpless and weak she sounded and seemed. Still, the Empress's words bounced around in her memory: "Whatever your mother failed to give you, make it up by giving it to your own child, who will matter more than anything else to you. All you will want is what's good and best for the baby. I guarantee it."
Ashi looked at her swollen flesh and realized she spent most of her pregnancy panicking about her future as a mother than looking forward to it. Even when her husband used to kneel down and kiss where he would think the baby's cheek and head were, she was always worried about becoming her mother. Some nights, she'd wake up in a cold sweat, screaming, and crying, often waking her husband and in-laws, who spent sleepless nights trying to calm her and help her fall back to sleep. For almost every one of those nights, her husband would sleep beside her, his arms wrapped protectively around where their child was growing as if he could protect him or her from the evil of the world and its mother's terror. He spent hours trying to help her take her mind off her fear, whether it was hat weaving, walking along the village and to the cherry blossoms, and asking servants to play music for them.
She could feel the child ache to leave its warm haven, but its mother was already exhausted and hoped it would be over soon.
As the Empress helped her drink, she rubbed Ashi's shaking arm that was helping her sit up. "In the meantime, you're having it better than I did when I had my son."
Ashi closed her eyes and took shaky breaths. "How so?"
The Empress smiled amusingly. "I had my son in a ruined palace while my husband was in battle with your father."
Ashi let out a small yelp before screaming again.
In a separate room in the same palace, their husbands were in combat, sweating and clanking swords. Twice, the Emperor managed to "kill" his son, who seemed reluctant to even be training.
"I'm sorry, Father," he said wearily as he set down his sword. "I know, I should be more focused, but—"
"No, my son," his father interrupted. "I understand. As an impending father, your thoughts are about your child. I only requested we practice to keep you relaxed and occupied while you wait."
The Samurai wiped his forehead and retied his hair. "Were you like this when I was born?" he asked as he sat down.
Much to his surprise, the Emperor chuckled. "No, my son. I was in battle when you were born. I didn't even know your mother was having you until I heard you cry."
The Samurai smiled. "Well, at least I will be pleased to admit to my little one that my life was not in danger when I became a father."
The Emperor put his arm around his son and nodded. "I am grateful for that, and I'm sure your mother is as well."
They put away their weapons and stepped outside to view the mountains, though both tried to keep quiet to see if they could hear a baby's first cries. It gave the Samurai joy to see the land he thought he lost forever. All he had to do was to make sure his own child would defend the land should evil ever arise and would get the best views of the kingdom, perhaps for more years than he was able to.
However, that might have been his parents' biggest wish, and he spent only a certain number of years studying the changing seasons from the palace. As much as he wanted his child to have a better life than he did, he knew he wanted his son or daughter to be a better warrior, perhaps even more intelligent, than he was.
"Father," he said, "I know you wanted to have a plan for me since I was born, but…" He paused, unsure of how he wanted to continue. He sensed his father waiting for him to continue. "I want my child to learn as much as I did, more than just fighting. I want him—or her, even if it's a girl—to learn everything."
"You want your child to have the same education as you did, is that what you're saying?" asked the Emperor. Then he smiled. "I was actually going to ask you later today, if you would be willing to have your child go around the world and train to fight, and to learn horsemanship and astronomy, among other skills."
"Yes, Father," his son said. "I want that for my child. Even if I have vanquished the ultimate evil from the world, I want my child to be prepared for anything, no matter how worse than mine. I want my son—or daughter—to know how to read the stars, to ride a horse, to read and write, perhaps new cultures, and to fight with and without weapons. Everything with my old teachers."
The Emperor stared at the mountains and nodded. "I'm proud, my son. I will gather your teachers from around the world and inform them of our request."
His son felt relieved and remained staring out toward the village and mountains. He recalled every minute of his training: astronomy with the astronomer. Equestrianism with the sheikh. First combat training and use of pole sticks with the African chief. Hieroglyphics with the Egyptian priest. Quarters combat with the Roman wrestler. Archery with Robin Hood. Sailing with the Norsemen. Throwing axes with the Russian Boyar. Spear throwing with the Mongol. Kung Fu with the monks. He knew his child would be in good hands all over the world, and they would cherish, mentor, and love him or her as they did him.
The expectant father recalled his training and imagined a little boy or girl going through the same thing until he heard a wail…
"The head's coming out, I can see the head," the midwife said loudly. Ashi loudly exhaled and slumped back against the Empress's arm around her back. "Almost done…"
Ashi wearily looked at her mother-in-law, who had a look of pure excitement in her eyes and even the wrinkles in her face. "If—if something happens to me," she panted, "will…will you take care of my baby…"
The Empress looked shocked that Ashi would say such a thing. Maybe Ashi had learned the unfortunate reality that many women throughout the kingdom and world have died in childbirth, sometimes with their own children, and was afraid of becoming another statistic. "Of course I will," she whispered. "But do not think like that. I firmly believe you will not die."
Ashi winced and weakly pushed. "But—even if—"
"Yes, of course," said the Empress. "If something happens to you, which I'm sure will not happen, I will tell him or her about its beautiful and strong mother, how its parents met, and its father's adventures. Now, push…"
Ashi obeyed and screamed. The Empress's arms around her chest and back felt like a rope constricting her of air. The pain in her legs and abdomen increased, and she could feel a heavy mass sliding out of her. She fell back against the Empress's arm just as the midwife happily screamed…as did a new voice.
Her eyes weakly opened to look over her knees and swollen stomach at the red mass that the midwife was holding, covered in fluids and blood, its mouth open as wails escaped. The woman used a knife to break apart the cord connecting mother to child, leaving a dark line on the newborn's stomach. The Empress began to cry and laugh, and her arms tightened around Ashi, who took it all in.
She was a mother.
She had just given birth to a human being, a new form of life.
The Empress—a new grandmother—wiped her eyes and kissed Ashi's head. "I'm a grandmother," she sobbed. "Oh, it's beautiful."
Although it was her child, Ashi thought it looked rather ugly at first glance, but she looked at the child's face and could see the beauty in its closed eyes. "Beautiful," she whispered.
The baby continued to bellow and twitch in the midwife's arms as she carried it to a small bowl of water. Suddenly, Ashi could feel in her arms and chest an urge to push herself out of bed and take the newborn from the midwife. She wanted her child—her baby—with her at all times.
The Empress asked a servant to clear away the bloody sheet while another dabbed Ashi's face and neck with a cold wet cloth. A third rubbed a cool cream over Ashi's stomach and thighs, and a fourth helped the new mother out of her sweat-soaked kimono and into a clean, dry one.
The midwife returned with the newborn swaddled in a white towel, and the Empress happily reached for her grandchild. "It's a girl," she whispered to Ashi. "A healthy girl."
Her daughter-in-law began to cry when she realized how badly she wanted a daughter, how happy she was to have a girl. The Empress collected her granddaughter from the midwife and handed her to her mother, who sobbed as she held the newborn to her exposing chest. The baby instantly silenced and made quiet noises once in her mother's arms. Ashi sniffed and rubbed her child's tiny back, kissing her red forehead and stroking the tiny black hair at the nape of her neck and the top of her head.
"She looks like her father," Ashi sighed as she studied the child's nose and cheekbones.
The Empress hummed and smiled as she shook her head. "She looks like a combination of both her parents," she said. "Please get my husband and son, and inform them of the safe delivery," she added without looking up to either the midwife or a servant.
The two women left the room and hurried down the hall, where they saw the prince quickly walk in their direction. He must have heard the baby's wailing. "It's a girl," the servant said breathlessly, excited about the new addition to the family. She did not think of the responsibilities of caring for the royal baby, such as midnight changings and constant screaming, or trying to figure what the newborn needed but relying only on its cries as cues of distress.
"A girl," the prince gasped, and joy warmed his blood.
He was a father.
The prince didn't care about the gender as much as he cared that it was his child. His—and Ashi's.
He hurried past the women while his father slowly followed. The Samurai pushed open the doors and saw his mother and wife, the former holding back the latter's bangs and a bundle in his wife's arms. Both looked up at him and warmly smiled. He could not stop himself from widely grinning he approached the women. "That's my daughter," he whispered as he knelt at the bed and peeked at his daughter under the blankets. He could see his wife in the child's face and the curve of her lips even with her fingers in her mouth.
She would not know it, but her father felt an overwhelming sensation within himself. The love he had for his parents, his people, his wife—it felt less important to him now, for all that mattered was this child, a child of his flesh and blood. Seeing the child in person and knowing it was his made the prince love her above himself and everyone and everything else he knew, cared about, and loved. He didn't want to just spoil her; he wanted to give his life for her.
The prince smiled at his mother and wife. "She's so beautiful. I love her."
His mother leaned forward to kiss his forehead, and he did the same above his wife's ear. "Thank you," he told her as he raked his fingers affectionately through her hair.
Ashi smiled, fatigued but happy, and kissed him on the lips. "No, thank you," she told him, "for giving me a reason to live, a reason to look past the hate that was blinding me from the truth."
He leaned against her shoulder and stroked the newborn's ear. She made a small noise of delight in the back of her throat. Then he snaked his hands under her little body and lifted her to his chest. She yawned and made a different noise, as if she could sense he was her father. He kissed her crown and between her neck and bare shoulder. He loved every inch of her, loved her more than his own parents and wife, and himself. His father informed him that parenthood was always putting the child's needs above the parents' own, and he was ready to fulfill that duty. He would do anything for the little human he held.
Behind him, his father entered the room and made a beeline for his son. The latter smiled at him over his shoulder and continued to stroke his daughter's back. "Congratulations, Grandfather," he said with a smirk.
The Emperor wanted to take his new granddaughter from his son and hold her as tightly as he could. No words could describe the thrill running through his veins at the thought of the new title in his life: grandfather. His son had given him a grandchild. It tasted differently yet just as wonderfully as becoming a father. The Emperor didn't know if one was better than the other.
The Samurai kissed his daughter's shoulder and handed her back to her mother, who had loosened her kimono and guided the baby's mouth to her breast.
"What are we to name her?" asked the Emperor when he realized that his son and daughter-in-law had not yet discussed baby names. Even his son looked embarrassed that he and Ashi have not done so, and he looked to his wife for an idea.
Ashi watched her daughter eat, her tiny hands tightening around her mother's flesh, and felt tears ready to build up. She kept her hands firmly over the baby's backside and where her toes were hidden under the towel, as if someone would snatch away the infant. "I want to name her…Aki, after one of my sisters."
The Empress looked ready to cry, her husband's face froze, and their son laced his fingers with his wife's. "Aki's a beautiful name," he said.
Ashi's heart ached, as it did every day, for her sisters who would never live to see life as she did and now who could never experience motherhood. She wouldn't have wished a painful childbirth on any of them, but the Empress was right: It was all worth it in the end, to hold a living child and know he or she belonged to you.
She would never forget her sisters, for she loved them all, even when their mother trained them to view each other more as living weapons than human beings and family. "Death is failure," she taught them should any perish. There was no time to mourn any who died or help any in distress. They may have died before they could learn the truth about Jack, but it was her goal to honor at least one of them so their memories could live on. And of course, she would tell her daughter stories of her aunts and how their spirits lived in their little niece.
For some reason, Aki had a nice ring to it, and it might have been that sister who tried to help her in times of trouble, when she made mistakes or hurt herself during training. Maybe, if her husband was willing to, they could keep having children, and she could resist childbirth over and over again until she had enough daughters to name after her sisters.
As soon as the new princess—Aki—stopped eating, her chin white with milk, Ashi patted her back, and the Emperor turned to a servant. "Please inform the rest of the palace and the kingdom of the delivery. We will arrange for her Miyamairi in thirty-three days." It then struck the Emperor: This was the first royal Miyamairi, or rite of passage for newborns, since his son's those many years ago, and the first for a girl in several years.
The servant curtsied and left the room for the new family of five to remain together. Ashi stared at her husband with wet eyes while the newborn fell asleep on Ashi's breast. "I promised your mother, and now to you and your father, that I will be a better mother to her than mine ever was."
"You will be," her husband responded while his father flinched at the thought of the stories about the horrible woman who tortured her own children. "I know you will, and I will always be at your side, doing my part for our child." He decided to wait until the next day to discuss his plans for the baby's education and training with her and see if there was anything else she wanted their daughter to learn and know.
Ashi let out a tiny sob, but she stopped herself from crying when she looked back down at the new child, for it was hard to think of anything else as she gazed down at little Aki's sweet face.
Aw...new parenthood.
As with Jack and Ashi's relationship, I didn't really make a huge deal over what gender child they might have had. I'd be okay with a son, but I think it would be nice for them to have a daughter to be named after one of her late aunts.
Speaking of Ashi's sisters, I'm thinking of doing a high-school AU involving a trip to the ice-cream shop, and certain little girls cause mayhem, or a sequel following Aki's training around the world.