Disclaimer: Not mine.
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It all started when Chili and Star were walking down the street from the park one summer day, as they usually do. Star had just slipped her phone back into her pocket after informing her mother that she did not do drugs while she was there. (a/n My mom thinks we do drugs at the park. Just to be clear, we don't.)
"So," Star said, "what do ya wanna do now?"
Chili shrugged. "Whatever."
"I hate my computer." Star said randomly.
"Your computer is stupid." Chili agreed. "You'd think it work better after I got rid of its 179 viruses..."
"At least it lets me online." Star paused. "When it wants to." She added as an after thought.
"Let's go to your house." Chili said as they passed both of their houses. As they passed Star's brother's car, Chili started to rant about it.
"1997 Cutlass Supreme LT, Oldsmobile, dark green, license plates 504 5588 with a Green Bay Packers air freshener."
Star just rolled her eyes. She was used to Chili obsessing about everything to do with her brother. Especially his car.
When they got inside, Chili sat down at the kitchen table as Star got something to drink. A notebook was on the table, Chili picked it up and was about to open it when-
"Nooooo!" Star had dropped her bottle of water and grabbed the notebook out of Chili's hands. "Mine!"
"What is it?" Chili asked.
"Nothing."
".........."
"It's my notebook."
"No kidding." Chili said sarcastically. "What's in it?"
"My fanfics."
"You manually write them before you type them?"
"Yeah. So?"
"You know," Chili said, "we should write a fanfiction."
"Um, I'm pretty sure we both already do."
"Well yeah," Star waved her hand, "but we should co-write one."
Star gasped, her eyes getting all big. "Yeah!" She flipped open her notebook and clicked some lead out of her mechanical lead pencil. "Ok, what'll it be about?"
Chili shrugged.
"Ok....who's in it?"
Their eyes locked. "Leggy." They said together. Star wrote it down. "Ok, who else?"
"Frofro!"
"Ok.."
"And Pippin!"
"Ok..."
"And Merry."
"Yep."
"And I guess that means we have to include Sam."
"Fine."
"And Aragorn so we can make fun of him."
Star laughed evilly. (like mwahaha) "But we are NOT putting Fat Ass in."
Chili shook her head. "Fat Ass is totally out."
"Right," Star said. "So what is going to happen in our story?"
crickets chirp
"..............."
49 ¾ minutes later
"I kind of have to go home now." Chili said. "I told mom I would wash the floors and clean out my closet." She shuddered and stared out into space for a few seconds singing the "Cleaning Out My Closet" song by Eminem. "So I gotta go now, bye."
"But.....but.." Star protested, "we didn't write the first chapter yet!"
"You can write it, I'll write the next chapter." Chili said and left.
"Grrrr." Star threw her pencil at her cat in anger. Her cat hissed and ran away. (Which wasn't very fast, considering how much fat weighs my cat down.)
Remembering that throwing things at others does not solve problems, Star retrieved her pencil and sat down on the couch to think.
Once upon a time.....she started.....there was a ridiculously hott elf named Legolas. And four hobbits. And a King. This is their story.
Now, the six men of our story lived in a big condo on Michigan Avenue in a little town they liked to call Chicago. Legolas had his own room. Aragorn had his own room. All four hobbits shared a room. But they didn't mind, they had bunk beds.
Frodo and Sam were both lifeguards at Oak Park Beach. Sam knew the reason they got the job was only because the person who hired them was obviously a pervy hobbit fancier.
Merry and Pippin gave boat tours of the city on the Chicago River and Lake Michigan.
Aragorn was a door man at the fancy Drake Hotel. He was quite mad when his boss told him he couldn't wear his crown on the job. He had to wear those dorky little round caps that doormen have to wear..
But Legolas, the successful one, was an executive person who worked on the 57th floor of the Sears Tower. You know, one of those people in a suit with a briefcase who walks around talking into their headset. Yep, one of those.
So one day Frodo had just saved a tiny white poodle from the depths of Lake Michigan when something gold and glittering caught his eye.
Frodo instantly dropped the poodle back into the water and picked up the shiny object.
camera shot of a hand underwater picking up THE RING and a pile of sand and gray mud and rocks
"Oooo, pretty!" Frodo said, petting the ring as the poodle barked, coughed, sneezed and tried to hold on to its life in the water behind him.
Frodo blinked and went back to normal. He seized the dog by the collar and towed him back to shore.
When the dog ran off, Frodo looked back at his ring. He turned it over and over again, examining its smooth surface. He smiled and pocketed it.
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Hey, I like Chicago ok? I might mention names of streets and buildings and stuff so if you want to know what they are just ask. Chili, next chapter is yours!!!!
Oh yeah, REVIEW!!!!!!!!