We go into the reaping for the first time with a child participating. I am so scared. But I must not show it. Rue will already be scared and I must keep everyone calm. We wake up that morning with kids at the foot of our bed awoken from terrible nightmares. Since no one can go back to sleep we get ready for the day. We all eat our breakfast of bread in silence. I give some of my portion to the younger children because they are so hungry. When we are done eating I take the youngest children to bathe. They don't argue. When i finally get them out and dressed into their nicest clothes for the day I help the older kids who have already bathed with there hair, brushing through there thick brown hair. Rue looks so beautiful in her clothes, so innocent in her eyes."Do I look pretty, mom?" asks Rue. "Beautiful." I tell her and she gives a hint of a smile. How is she getting through the day?

It is around twelve-thirty and the reaping starts at one so we finish getting ready and head for the square. We are one of the first to arrive and we get checked in. Rue has to go to the roped off areas for the children participating in the reaping. So I give her one last hug, fighting back tears. We take the kids and wait for it to start. Everyone, even the children, are standing silent as people file into there spots and the square fills with people. Finally the mayor starts.
It feels like a eternity Before he finishes and I realize this is how it is going to be every year. Every year one more of my beloved children will be entered. Finally our district escort comes up to the platform in fornt of the justice building. I get more rigid with every coming second. I think about how Rue my oldest child has her name in that reaping bowl 8 times. Then before I know it our escort, I forget her name, is picking the girls name our of the bowl. I am just hoping that isn't rue's, it isn't rue's, it isn't rue's. She unfolds the piece of paper. It's Rue.
I feel like a ton of bricks just fell on me, suffocating me. I see her walk up to the stage, hoping someone will volunteer for her and she can come home with us. But we don't have volunteers in District 11. So she stays on the stage. I remember her first walking, her first words, and I can't even imagine losing her but the capitol is taking her away from me. When the reaping is over we go into the Justice building to see her one last time. We enter the room and she runs to me. Tears streaming down her cheeks, asking me to please take her home. It's unbearable, but she knows in her heart I can't and she will have to ride the train to the capitol. To soon they come and take us away from her. She latches on to me and the peacekeepers have to pry her away from me. We all go home. We eat, no one talks though and soon its time for bed. We all sleep in the same bed tonight knowing nightmares will come. I don't sleep, constantly soothing a awoken child back to sleep.
In the morning we are forced to continue life as normal. But it's not normal it's missing a important part, Rue. Somehow we make it through the day. We all sit
in front of the tiny television in our family room to watch the opening ceremonies. District chariot after District chariot come until finally District 11. Rue looks stunning in the light blue dress her stylist put on her.
The next days flash by. The interview was unbearable to watch, only I could tell how forced her smile was. It broke my heart. Her training score of 7 was better than I expected. I wonder what she did? Of course we will never know. One thing I do pick up is she has been following the district 12 tribute, the one who volunteered. It's already the first day of the games. I watch as she grabs a backpack near her pedistal and
runs toward the woods.
The next days are also a blur, she finds water and food farely quickly. stays alive in the trees. Than one day she bocomes allies with the district 12 tribute. They work well she gets fed. They make plan then separate. It all happens so fast. She was walking then got trapped in a large net. She calls for Katniss, the district 12 girl. I'm just hoping she can save her. But she is too late. I watch my daughter get speared by the District 1 male.
My eyes fill with tears. I watch as Katniss holds her and sings to my daughter who always loved the sound of music, even when she was a baby. I hear her cannon
fire and know its to late. They turn the cameras away but you can see when they show the the hovercraft picking up her limp body that Katniss has covered her in flowers.
In a few days her body is delivered, but I cant look at it. We have a sort of funeral. She was my first and can never be replaced. She was smart and fragile. I
used to call her my little bird cause she always stood like she was ready to take flight. I look at her one last time before she's buried in the earth.